[polar_bear1]

Hi all, I got DX Bipolar1 in 2004 (26yrs old) hospitalized in a very serious full blown mania, after that came depression. Been on meds since then, get a yearly swing every February (big swing) and been up and down all these years but within limits of being seriously ill- due to preventive meds.
For the last 2yrs I´ve been rapid cycling/mixed state with a lot of anxiety.
My life got more complex 2yrs ago and that´s when the anxiety and panic attacks kicked in.
Now at 34yrs I´m only getting worse, no job, took time off from uni, and getting more insecure- have a 6yr old, single mom.

My pdoc once told me that with every serious episode, you´ll get a bit worse! Like your brain gets a little scar each time you get sick!!

Have you heard this before?

How is it for you? Do you get worse with age?

I know there are always new meds coming in, our health deteriorizes... but how do you experience your illness...is it getting worse?

Thanks in advance for your replies

[TRNRMOM]

Originally Posted by polar_bear1

Hi all, I got DX Bipolar1 in 2004 (26yrs old) hospitalized in a very serious full blown mania, after that came depression. Been on meds since then, get a yearly swing every February (big swing) and been up and down all these years but within limits of being seriously ill- due to preventive meds.
For the last 2yrs I´ve been rapid cycling/mixed state with a lot of anxiety.
My life got more complex 2yrs ago and that´s when the anxiety and panic attacks kicked in.
Now at 34yrs I´m only getting worse, no job, took time off from uni, and getting more insecure- have a 6yr old, single mom.

My pdoc once told me that with every serious episode, you´ll get a bit worse! Like your brain gets a little scar each time you get sick!!

Have you heard this before?

How is it for you? Do you get worse with age?

I know there are always new meds coming in, our health deteriorizes... but how do you experience your illness...is it getting worse?

Thanks in advance for your replies

from my personal exerience, i'd say yes. bp2, female and have been med. compliant every single day since this disorder. i have researched this illness and i am informed. i know my triggers..avoid them as much as i can, and no longer work, have a good, long-term marriage, and have a lot of control over my external world in order to stay stable. diagnosed around 35, and am now 66. hormonal changes during perimenopause created upheavel til i was put on hormones, and this past year anxiety has worsened (have meds for that) but the mania has come more frequently and sleep issues have become major when in the past, never had a problem. i would be curious hearing from other long-timers of this illness. believe it's called the kindling effect.

[MommaR]

I feel like mine is getting worse but I think, also, there are some things you do during a manic phase that ppl kind of overlook or look at as youthful folly when you are younger that you just cant get away with at my age so it starts to "stick out" more.

[Eliza Jane]

Yep. Unfortunately, there are even research studies that document this to be true.

It has been my experience too. I made it to 22 without meds and now if I stop I become dangerously depressed.

Best,
EJ

I have heard that people with bipolar disorder have a really high increased chance to end up with alzheimers and dementia in old age.

[venusss]

It doesn't have to. There is research claiming that if diagnosed young, you can "outgrow" the disorder.

Or you simply learn to cope better with being *you*. You come to better place in your life.

I do think episodes leave impact, but rather on soul on brain... you sometimes are in strange places with your mind... so it does leave an impact... do they scar brain? I don't know... all I know is that once you grasp your life into your hands... chances are it's gonna get better on all fronts. Imho, the worst about our episodes is not the chemistry processes but the real life aftermath anyways.

I really like your point of view on this. It's encouraging! thank you!

[JoBlow]

Originally Posted by polar_bear1

Hi all, I got DX Bipolar1 in 2004 (26yrs old) hospitalized in a very serious full blown mania, after that came depression. Been on meds since then, get a yearly swing every February (big swing) and been up and down all these years but within limits of being seriously ill- due to preventive meds.
For the last 2yrs I´ve been rapid cycling/mixed state with a lot of anxiety.
My life got more complex 2yrs ago and that´s when the anxiety and panic attacks kicked in.
Now at 34yrs I´m only getting worse, no job, took time off from uni, and getting more insecure- have a 6yr old, single mom.

My pdoc once told me that with every serious episode, you´ll get a bit worse! Like your brain gets a little scar each time you get sick!!

Have you heard this before?

How is it for you? Do you get worse with age?

I know there are always new meds coming in, our health deteriorizes... but how do you experience your illness...is it getting worse?

Thanks in advance for your replies

I definitely think mine has... I was diagnosed in 1994 and with in the last few years ... I know it's worse. I cant function like i used to. I can't follow thru with things.. I cant work anymore.. I sometimes cant even carry a conversation without the topic changing several times and then drifting off trying to make myself remember what was the original question.. It is embarrassing at best around my family.. My household knows me I have lived here with a significant other for fifteen years.. but when I leave my safety zone.. I have to really watch my words and my actions.. Good Question

[polar_bear1]

Originally Posted by landskaperdan

I have heard that people with bipolar disorder have a really high increased chance to end up with alzheimers and dementia in old age.

New research show that Lithium is preventive when it comes to Alzheimer and dementia... so I´m not worried about that. Been on Lithium from day 1.

[Moose72]

My pdoc once told me that with every serious episode, you´ll get a bit worse! Like your brain gets a little scar each time you get sick!!

yes mine too. its called kindling.

[moremi]

that makes me wonder because I had a brain mri and they told me i have lesions in my white brain matter????

[BipolaRNurse]

Even though I was diagnosed only this past winter, looking back over the years I can see how my BP has gotten more disruptive, and the episodes closer together, than when I was younger. Even medicated, I still have breakthrough mini-episodes that aren't particularly intense, just "naggy" like something's slightly off-kilter, but I can't put my finger on it.

And the major episodes........well, they are simply horrid and they last for a long, long time. That also was not the case in my youth, and that worries me.

[Moose72]

Originally Posted by moremi

that makes me wonder because I had a brain mri and they told me i have lesions in my white brain matter????

Try looking that up online. I know I've seen comparisons of a normal brain and a bipolar brain.

http://www.bipolar-lives.com/bipolar-brain-imaging.html

[Victoria'smom]

I think it gets worse, but it was a lot different when I was younger.

[purpledaisy]

I've read that it gets worse with age, and I believe it.

I was diagnosed at age 21, but I had symptoms since childhood.

Now, at age 46 (and after being unmedicate and out of treatment for 18 years), I definitely feel like it's worse.

That's one of the reasons I finally got back into treatment recently. I was dreading the inevitable downward spiral because they get worse each time.

[Mollie May]

This explains the basic idea of kindling effect in Bipolar.

It explains that the kindling model began with epilepsy. It goes on to explain that "Using the kindling effect analogy of a kindling log, for the person with Bipolar Disorder, this will be like the log that becomes so easy-to-light that eventually it will light without help—in other words, the episodes of the bipolar person will become like the fire that is already burning is harder to put out." I find this a little scary. I mean if eventually I have episodes without triggers because my brain has become so sensitized that episodes increase in frequency and worsen as time goes by...well, that means I have far less control. And that is terrifying. I like to at least think managing my triggers will help me--short-term and long-term.

However, there is this key point: "...the kindling effect on Bipolar Disorder is a new phenomenon, [and] it bears further scrutiny."

I actually read somewhere that bipolar II can turn into bipolar I over time if left untreated. I forgot the source. Wonder if there's any truth to that?

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by TheHighPriestess

I actually read somewhere that bipolar II can turn into bipolar I over time if left untreated. I forgot the source. Wonder if there's any truth to that?

I was first Bipolar II, then Bipolar I, but I doubt that I "turned" into Bipolar I - rather, my first p-doc was a clueless idiot who misdiagnosed me.

I had a manic depressive mother who found doctors who were willing to treat her with high (HIGH) doses of Elavil alone. Elavil is a very old tricyclic AD. It should not be used in bipolar disorder without a back-up in the form of a MS or AP or both. Without such back-up, it makes a person manic. She enjoyed mania and thought mania was a good thing, so she craved Elavil. I myself take a microscopic dose of Elavil for sleep but taken with Lithium and Geodon it causes no mania (plus my dose is barely perceptible). Her manias and depressions definitely became worse with age, but I think that it was due to her kind of "treatment".

I have become better over the years on appropriate drugs. I am at a point where it is boring to open Optimism Online or Moodtracker.com because I would select the mid-point or baseline mood in each application every single day. I am that stable. But I have to find an alternative to Geodon and we will see where my moods will be while I am looking for something equally effective but not "offending".

[lil lost bee]

My experience.....yes, it has gotten worse. I've been going thru this for 8 years now, at least that's when I was DX'd. And it's beginning to affect my daily life more and more. I have been on a good "cocktail" of Lamictal, Pristiq and recently added Wellbutrin. My night time RX's are Lunesta, Flexiril, and then 2 benadryl (it enhances the lunesta and flexiril), but now wonder if I need to change up. I like to hope that it will get better as I get older, but so far, just with my ongoing experience, it's just not.

[BlackPup]

I definitely got worse during the 7 years I was misdiagnosed and mistreated (treated for depression only). Since I've been on my current meds I've been good but I have heard that meds wear out after a while and can stop working. I hope that doesn't happen to me.

[moremi]

Originally Posted by Moose72

Try looking that up online. I know I've seen comparisons of a normal brain and a bipolar brain.

http://www.bipolar-lives.com/bipolar-brain-imaging.html

thats very interesting!!!

[Seaswept]

Mine has gotten worse over the years as well. The hypomania doesn't last as long mania kicks in pretty fast now and with the last 2 episodes I became delusional and psychotic. My manias of the past were the euphoric type- shopping sprees, outgoing socially, confident- thinking I'm so hot, promiscuity and such but also telling everyone off, getting in their face not taking any ****- it switched back and forth between the 2.

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by BlackPup

I definitely got worse during the 7 years I was misdiagnosed and mistreated (treated for depression only). Since I've been on my current meds I've been good but I have heard that meds wear out after a while and can stop working. I hope that doesn't happen to me.

Trazodone has worn out on me as a sleep aid. They way I understand it, sleep aids, tranquilizers, ADs wear out, but, say, Lithium always works.

[coorodden]

Originally Posted by landskaperdan

I have heard that people with bipolar disorder have a really high increased chance to end up with alzheimers and dementia in old age.

Hi, can you point to the evidence for that? This is a real concern for me. did you read a study or two somewhere?

Mine has gotten better over the years, but I've learned more about how to care for
it, as well, and I can't say that I've neglected treatment for it.

It definitely gets worse without medication, so while I no longer have psychotherapy, I will always take a very mild dose of something to maintain stability and to sleep well.

It is natural for the pineal gland to calcify as one ages; that's part of the reason that older patients need to take a sleep aid on occasion.

I can tell you that I avoid situations that I know are negative and provocative. That
keeps things calm for the most part. And because I was sensitized as a youngster against negativism I have to avoid that as much as possible.

Wtihout meds, without diet care, without a sleep aid, I probably would worsen. But
with those things, I have improved gradually over the years learning how to manage
everything that pertains to me and attempting to manage nothing that is not my
business.

Begin preparing now for financial security; that's a big one to keep you stable in your elderly years.

We're all different; some of us will no doubt get worse, particularly if we don't take medications; others of us will do well and remain stable with excellent physician care
and with common sense about how to care for ourselves.

Much of it is just being aware about the need to keep the chemistry of the body balanced.

Find a sound spiritual foundation that you feel secure in and just live your life daily
with contentment and some application of work or hobbies and friends to enjoy your
days with you.

Genetic