[polar_bear1]

Hi all, I was wondering if you felt personality changes after you got ill? Or after you got medicated? Or if your family did notice changes in personality?

I don´t mean Borderline Personality- just small changes in Personality.

I.E. I was very out-going, cheerfull and loved to be in crowds, a real ppl-person. I´m not anymore- rather isolated in all areas.
Personality wise- I´m much more sensitive, numb, closed off, even jumpy etc.

What about you?

Originally Posted by polar_bear1

Hi all, I was wondering if you felt personality changes after you got ill? Or after you got medicated? Or if your family did notice changes in personality?

I don´t mean Borderline Personality- just small changes in Personality.

I.E. I was very out-going, cheerfull and loved to be in crowds, a real ppl-person. I´m not anymore- rather isolated in all areas.
Personality wise- I´m much more sensitive, numb, closed off, even jumpy etc.

What about you?

I had my first episode in adolesence and my parents definitely noticed it! Before I got ill? I was a different person, I was a child. I'm mostly introverted but a lot of times it depends on my mood. I think I can safely say for most that when (hypo)manic, we become a lot more outgoing and generally extroverted.

[treehugger727]

Originally Posted by polar_bear1

Hi all, I was wondering if you felt personality changes after you got ill? Or after you got medicated? Or if your family did notice changes in personality?

I don´t mean Borderline Personality- just small changes in Personality.

I.E. I was very out-going, cheerfull and loved to be in crowds, a real ppl-person. I´m not anymore- rather isolated in all areas.
Personality wise- I´m much more sensitive, numb, closed off, even jumpy etc.

What about you?

I find this to be a really tough question to answer. Since my dx (in August of this year), I have been trying to figure things out too. I have always been outgoing, love people, like being center of attention, talks too much (even on my 1st grade report card, all A's and that comment "tree talks too much during class.") Now I feel so confused by all of this because I honestly do not know what my normal, stable feels like versus the "mania" or "depression". I mean, I know im sad when im sad or down and feeling yucky. I also know when I am really manic because I can't sleep, I am hyper-sexual, feel very impulsive. So it never dawned on me before that my sexuality, outgoing behavior, love of shopping and quick decisions could be a result of mania or this condition. There has to be gray area here, of course. I just always took the highs as they came and chalked it up to feeling confident and carefree. How much of that is really me though? How much of my changing personality is due to being aware that I go through these cycles? How much of it is me trying to be mature and accountable for my actions versus who I am? I probably sound like a weirdo. This question has got all the wheels turning now...

my onset was age nine so I don't know about then, although i am told that it was like someone flipped a switch and my outlook on life got very negative. but I do know after treatment at the age of 33 I have changed a lot. like you said, more isolated, can't do as much, etc.

Tree, you don't sound like a weirdo. I completely relate to every word!

[treehugger727]

Originally Posted by TheHighPriestess

Tree, you don't sound like a weirdo. I completely relate to every word!

Thanks. I appreciate that. It is just so damned confusing sometimes. People who don't have bipolar don't seem to understand like those who do. I keep telling myself that the dx doesn't change anything- I am not defined by my illness. Then I have those moments where the little depressed self hate troll hops on my shoulder and hisses "yessss....you are...."

F you, troll!

I just typed a huge rant but deleted. I feel better now

[Crazy cat lady]

I have definitely changed since being diagnosed. Little things that you don't think about until someone brings it up to you. I do know that when I was taking just Geodon, 80mg twice a day, it really affected my personality. I didn't notice it, but my husband and therapist were saying that I just acted like I didn't have much life in me, no emotions really. But now with the combo I'm on, it looks like it's made me manic. So I think meds make a difference.

[BipolaRNurse]

I still consider myself newly diagnosed (less than a year) and the "lifelong" aspect of actually having BP just keeps slamming into my reality, the way the airplanes slammed into the World Trade Center on 9/11/01. Yes, it's changed my personality some because now I have this shame and guilt from a lifetime of being part of a family who never knew how I was going to behave from day to day. Of course I can't go back and fix it; it's just that for the first time in my life, I'm able to glimpse what it must've been like for them to live with a bipolar wife, mother, sister. And I feel awful about it.

[treehugger727]

Originally Posted by BipolaRNurse

I still consider myself newly diagnosed (less than a year) and the "lifelong" aspect of actually having BP just keeps slamming into my reality, the way the airplanes slammed into the World Trade Center on 9/11/01. Yes, it's changed my personality some because now I have this shame and guilt from a lifetime of being part of a family who never knew how I was going to behave from day to day. Of course I can't go back and fix it; it's just that for the first time in my life, I'm able to glimpse what it must've been like for them to live with a bipolar wife, mother, sister. And I feel awful about it.

Aww Nurse. We all have those things. I also wonder what its been like for my fam to have a bipolar mom, sis, daughter, etc. I just told my mom about my dx on Tuesday. She told me, "honey, it doesn't change you, you're still you."
So even though I/you/everyone here, do/have done/will do weird, unpredictable things or be weird or unpredictable, we are still the people we always were. I don't think you should be ashamed. I think if you haven't, you should consider forgiving yourself. I'm hugging you in my mind. (((bipolaRNurse)))

[faerie_moon_x]

I don't think my personality changed after my diagnosis as in, I was diagnosed and I changed. But I do think that other events in my life have recently caused my personality to change. I have become a very angry person and I used to be very easy going and calm tempered, but I don't think it's because of my diagnosis.