[sugahorse1]

This condition can truly leaving you feeling hopeless and helpless at times.
"Ride it out", "it'll pass"...that's all I ever hear.
Everything I touch turns to a disaster. Why??!!???

[sugahorse1]

Going to see pdoc's locum tomorrow. Just want my emotions dulled

oh wow. I can totally relate. I went so far before as to want to medicate all of my emotions away! one thing to consider is if your emotions are totally out of control. that was/is my biggest problem at the moment. It wasn't/isn't that my moods were swinging, it was/is that my emotions were rampaging and there was nothing I could do about it.

that is, until, i learned all about emotions. it really made a difference to know what was going on.

I learned that there was a difference between moods, emotions, feelings, and my reactions to my feelings. and I learned how my reactions to my feelings are something that I can control and change, and how that changed my feelings about my emotions, and eventually how my feelings changed my emotions and got them under control.

I would love to have that conversation again if it's something you are interested in!

[sugahorse1]

It's a conversation someone ironically started with me a while back - a colleague of mine at work- and she was going to elaborate and teach me more about this concept

it really has made the world of difference for me! i have become somewhat obsessed with it and have become very protective of the way that I feel because of it. for me, it is the missing link

[faerie_moon_x]

I can relate, Suga. I always have to "ride it out" and it's exhausting.

I also have been feeling that "every thing I touch goes to hell.."

I with I had advice but I just really feel what you're saying right now.

[sugahorse1]

Maybe new meds can change this for me. Taking Xanax is my way out, but it's not safe

[BlueInanna]

hope you get some relief suga. what can we do to help? i don't want to say hang onto your hat, keep your hands and feet inside the vehicle until the ride comes to a complete stop... but doesn't it just feel like a circus ride sometimes?
i wonder what meds they'll give you.

[MommaR]

Originally Posted by BlueInanna

hope you get some relief suga. what can we do to help? i don't want to say hang onto your hat, keep your hands and feet inside the vehicle until the ride comes to a complete stop... but doesn't it just feel like a circus ride sometimes?
i wonder what meds they'll give you.

Good analogy, Blue, I do feel like Im on a circus ride- the scrambler to be exact. Do you remember that one? Slings you in one direction then wham! jerks you in a different one...

[sugahorse1]

Thanks for the empathy BlueInanna.
It is a bloody stupid rollecoaster - I've never even done rollercoasters in real life; now this emotional one is just too much.

I know they want me to stop the benzo's. But it's all that seems to calm the anxiety when it comes. But I tend to OD if I have them. And I probably drink too much for someone that's on psych meds.
It just means a lot to log on here and find people online who understand and can chat

[BlackPup]

sending you lots of s it certainly can be a rollercoaster
Hope things settle down for you soon

[sugahorse1]

Going to pdoc in an hour... Eeeeek... Time to be honest

[Seaswept]

I can relate. "This too shall pass" blah blah blah. I hate that saying.

I did the same thing with my klonopins last fall- kept taking too many, more and more just to block the pain ...numbed myself out and stayed in bed. Wound up in the hospital and Dr. will not give any benos to me now. I miss them but know its better for me not to take them. Prior to that happening,I had been taking Xanax prn since 2005. They were a crutch for me I always had them in my pocketbook and anytime I felt a little nervous could pop one. Now I just have to get through it.

I hope things get better for you.

[Giabrina]

What are benos?

[treehugger727]

Originally Posted by Giabrina

What are benos?

benzodiazepine
Pronunciation: ben′zō-dī-az′ĕ-pēn
Definition:

1. Parent compound for the synthesis of a number of psychoactive compounds (diazepam, chlordiazepoxide).
2. A class of compounds with antianxiety, hypnotic, anticonvulsant, and skeletal muscle relaxant properties.

http://www.drugs.com/search.php?sear...benzodiazepine

[BlueInanna]

ativan, lorazepam, clonopin, clonazapam, xanax

those are the ones i like... oops i mean the ones i know :/

she won't give me xanax.. i know it's probably better not to start, but my clonopins barely work anymore.

let us know how the doctor went suga

[sugahorse1]

Is xanax not very similar to ativan?
I have Ativan and Klonopin.

Pdoc increase MS - I take Epilim (Sodium Valporate)
Just had a more arguement with the boyfriend, and it's triggering my depression more

[sugahorse1]

Somewhat better. Life still seems pointless though

[BlueInanna]

xanax is majorly stronger than clonopin, which is stronger than ativan

[BlueInanna]

are you off to work now Suga? im wide awake after midnight, took clonopin, benadryl, and an ambien. waiting and waiting for sleep to come.

[sugahorse1]

It's nearly 10AM here - have been at work since 8.
Sorry you can't sleep. Took a Klonopin this AM

[BlueInanna]

how you feeling? i'm forcing myself out the door to the office... trying... !!
bad anxiety day for me, not sure if i can stay quit smoking today... but 3 days w/out was good!

[sugahorse1]

Woke up with such irritability today I nearly killed my boyfriend. Shame, and he actually took it ok.
I am back on the smokes. Only 2 a day or so. But it does the job

[BlueInanna]

hmmm... sounds interesting... how were you going to kill him? i was wondering how you're doing. i'm really damn irritable and it's really irritating me!

[sugahorse1]

I was just a real pain to be around this morning. Ativan and Klonopin work wonders...