[Gadgetsmile]

This might be a little hard to explain how I got to the point of writing on here,

Basically I've had a crappy childhood and my adult years have not been much better. At 26 and a single mother, I just finished yet another set of counselling.
I have been diagnosed with PTSD but lately I've been thinking it does fit with the flashbacks and nightmares, but some of it doesn't.
It was only after talking to a relatively new friend about her depression, and mentioning my experience with her did she say something unexpected....
Basically, At 18 I was diagnosed with depression. I disagreed. I had times when I was very happy and times when I was down. To me depression meant a black cloud that followed you around. Anyway, he put me on fluoxetine, which made me hyper and feeling out of control, so I took myself off them.
There have been periods where I have felt down and some would say depressed because I thought about suicide, but it never lasted more than a few months built up from being a little low to suicidal thinking, i never attepmted it though and then I was fine. Sometimes I'd go into overdrive, my mind would be constantly switched on.
My friend said that is bipolar not depression.
That was 2 weeks ago. I have been thinking about it, I had no idea what bipolar was. So I checked out bipolar on google and came to this site. I took the sanity questionaire, and it said PTSD, anxiety and bipolar were serious concerns. So I took the bipolar and mania quizzes. I scored quite highly. Then I started to think about it more.
Yes I spend lots of money when in overdrive. I think I have the next big book idea but get easily distracted after a shirt time and give up. Then I realise how stupid the idea is when I feel low.
My daughter is the product of a one night stand.
My thoughts race and I talk as fast as I think when in overdrive.
Could it be hypomania/mania, and could it be periods of depression rather than being a depressed person?

I'm so confused, it doesn't help that I was in overdrive last week when I went to see the community mental health nurse for just the second time. She wrote down
'racing thoughts, agitated, high anxiety, fast speech' and a few other things I couldn't make out.

I don't know what to think. I know I went to them for help sorting my head, but I thought it was the PTSD. I wasn't expecting anything else. And what do I say to her about it?


Sorry for going on...

[Eliza Jane]

Seems worth investigating. It also is possible to have BP and PTSD. You need a good psychiatrist to figure this out for you. What did the nurse say? Are you on any meds?

Best,
EJ

[Clinte89]

I would agree with getting a psychiatrist and see what they can do for you. I'm not capable of dxing someone so I couldn't say, but a dr could do that and help you as we'll.

[BNLsMOM]

The racing thoughts and spending and the book ideas sound a lot like me when I was younger and not diagnosed yet. I get very speedy and agitated at times. I totally understand your description of overdrive. I also get so depressed sometimes that I can't even move except to go to the bathroom. I also get what they call mixed states where I feel everything at once. That is when it gets dangerous for me because I can get the self harm and sui thoughts, but have the energy to do something. I have never attempted, but I have harmed slightly.

The best thing I did was to seek help. It has been a long and difficult road for me, but I am feeling better and I am improving in my coping skills. I am by no means cured and don't think I ever will be. I even had somewhat of a mini episode this week.

Anyway, I am sharing all this to let you know that you are welcome here and will find lots of support when you post.

It might take time to find the right doctor for you, but if you can get in to see someone ASAP, and get on meds that is a good step. Also a good therapist can work wonders too. I got lucky and found the right therapist for me on the first try. On the other hand I have been through sever psychiatrists and finally have a good nurse practitioner for my medication management.

Welcome to Psych Central.

[Gadgetsmile]

Thanks for all your replies,

will talk to the community mental health nurse when I see her in a week and a half.
I just don't know what to say. I don't want her to think I am trying to fit my symptoms to an illness, if that makes sense.

Thanks for the welcome and understanding x

[Anika.]

Well don't look at it like trying to fit your symptoms into an illness. Look at it like trying to fit a proper treatment plan onto your symptoms. Just be honest about what you experience, and request that you would like to speak with a psychiatrist. Because she is not able to tell you one way or another either. I don't think she will think negatively about you for bringing this up.

Good luck