Need a little support... I think.

For the past three days I've been consumed with the one thought - "I think i am bipolar".

This isn't the first time it has occurred to me, but it's the first time I've genuinely gone "You know what, it certainly explains a lot".

I had a relationship of sorts for a good many years when I was 18 with a boy who is bipolar/schizo affective/not sure anymore and his impact on me is what I used as the reason for the inkling thought in my mind that there may be something 'wrong' with me. Now i realise that I think i based my perception of what a bipolar person is like entirely on him and I am nothing like him so I concluded that I couldn't possibly be bipolar too.

The other day I was set off by something and I suddenly felt slightly detached from myself. I saw myself more clearly, my behaviour, the emotions I was experiencing and I realised that it was just too much. I can't deal with the way I am anymore. So i started reading about bipolar (again) but this time with the aim to see how it relates to me. And it did.

I'm worried about something though. I see it in me but I don't think anyone else does. I think if i go out there and say "I think i might be bipolar" almost everyone I know, except a few people, are going to think I'm being ridiculous.

I don't know why I'm writing this. I guess I am just looking for some understanding. I think I just want my mind to stop. I feel like I'm walking on the edge of a cliff, either about to plummet into despair but occasionally hit by bursts of sheer joy at the idea of flying.

Well, my advice to you is to make an appointment to see a psychiatrist. That is the only way. You can take the mania and depression quizes here at psych central to get an idea of possible symptoms you may be having. That will give your discussion with the doctor some direction. There's a lot more to it than just the mood part.

I would say the same thing talk to a pdoc and see if they can help you out at all. I'm sorry your feeling so down but hopefully it'll pick up soon.