that trippy grin

days make up weeks and too many of them make up months and all joined up just too long depending on the extent of damage done on the way...

oh yeah somethin' aint right inside me!

tormented....and now I write very little I don't know how to explain it?

or should I make an effort...obviously I need to express myself otherwise I would not hang out here all day and night and the one before and the next and it's too late everything is so damn obvious now...

scared yeah!

creative?...yeah!

weird....?...who said that what?...who said weird?!

can I compress years of madness and pain into a tiny verbal box....like really tiny small like small as!?

dis-comfort and chaos permanently emotional dis-figurement?

....to compress and relate in the time it took to achieve such chaos how can anything but a trippy grin.....!!

make any sense of it all

it's a miracle all by itself!....I sure hope you get it .....



....keeps me alive

OMG!!

I just did it again...



how can I grin when I am so miserable it's actually never been worse for me everything is pushing me ever closer to the big bad edge!

so gotta scrape the tiniest things up together and just let them tiny inspirations do their thing...

sure it's bipolar madness nasty weird but I don't care....

we are all amazing.........it's

ummm

pretty full on!

starlight heart wanna fight?
let me go...
what the hell is slow?
trip me up anyway steady
you know I aint ready!

pull my face
for me for free
it's outer space

in the morning my eyes open like they forgot to be shut even though they just damn well loved it!

I'm assaulted ...my dangerous thoughts.....

the ones that worn me out the the day before to make me over tired and was it yesterday or 3 days ago....never simple...

nuthin!'....makes me different from anyone else....

I'm alive.....I suck......I love I hate...maybe I aint so bad?

truth is...I have done some bad things.
thought even worse things....I can share affection and I mean it...

but it never lasts long....don't believe I deserve the affection given to me!

I think some bad things quite alot...my biggest challenge is controlling myself!

so much stuff in my world makes me mad and it's bipolar brilliance that sees the other way but try and embrace it!.....too fast!

so freaking broken!!

but I have bad thoughts and I keep having them

I suddenly lost my smile

but it's ok

Sending + vibes your way! I hope you get some sleep soon.

Peace & Hugs,

TnT

...thankyou ...peace and love back to you...

I just love those trees....

the magnificent Sequoia

just wish I never had to ...

be so damn difficult!

what keeps me alive?
I'm an angel on Earth!
a tripped out trippy grinning freak with little to smile about
apart from feeling these wings on my back!....



a gift from the Gods...electric madness...



such is the bipolar way I'm nothing but a tiny light in the hands of this graceful world



no different to you