[MmeAllTalk]

I really do think that i am trying to get myself to a better place, and though its not like anybody is arguing with me and saying i'm not, I just feel like my efforts all seem to fail. I love y therapist and definitely think she is helping me, so that part is working out. I am constantly in a state of changing meds as I seem to have side effects from everything (and have stage 3 kidney disease from my medications toxicity not being monitored right, until it was too late, but i am okay so i am not making that the main issue here.) I used to be part of a group that went totally down hill and became a negative so I had to stop, so now I am researching looking for another support group though I am failing at finding one at the moment. I do force myself to do things like get out of bed and go to the gym or call a friend (one of the very few i have), but nothing is enough. I am still in a terrible place and its not for lack of trying, I just am not getting anywhere. Its hard not to feel so hopeless when you try so hard and nothing helps!
Mel

[Trippin2.0]

Hi Mel, its not in vain, and if it were hopeless,you'd have given up by now. Its ok to get tired and weary, we've all been there at some point. Please keep reaching out, emotional purging is therapeutic. Have youu looked into meditation,or yoga? I hear it is quite helpful, I'm looking to start yoga sometime in the future (no money right now, and DIY, is not for me) I hope that other posters are of more help, my back is killing me, so I'm a bit foggy atm. Sending you lotsa soothing s

[~Christina]

Hiya Mel .. Welcome to PC

I can understand your frustration. Its hell feeling like your getting no where fast when your actually doing the work. Give yourself a day off now and then ..

I mean give yourself a day off where your not activly doing the " right things" to get "better" Do the "right things" and find a lil joy in them. Do you like coffee? go have a Grande "whatever flavor you love" Is it food ? go splurge on your favorite at home or dining out. So simply put do a few things you haven't done in a while and just in the moment "Enjoy" I think alot of us with BP tend to work so hard trying to get better that we forget its ok to stop trying to "fix oursleves" and just enjoy something no matter how small it may be.

Again welcome to PC and I hope you can find support information and a laugh or 3 here.

[Dymphna12]

Hello Mel!

I understand exactly where you are coming from. I'm going through a similar situation myself. This online forum actually seems to help quite a bit (I am so happy my own counselor suggested it to me). Hopefully it will be of some help and support for you, too!

[faerie_moon_x]

Hi Mel! Welcome!

I know it seems hopeless but really it isn't. It's just a slow process. I heard someone say once that "Great things take time and horrible things happen all at once." It's true.

i'm sorry your support group didn't work out. This place may be more digital but we're all here to support each other. So feel free to vent and post and ask questions. We all go through hard times and better times and finding this place has helped me emensely.

And it's not in vain or hopeless. Everyone travels at a different pace and every has a different experience. With your health issues your road is going to be a bit different with meds, but that's okay. It takes time but you'll get there.