[BlueInanna]

Picked my 10 yr old up from school today, and he ran to the car in tears, horrified and embarrassed that he was crying in front of the school. The PE teacher came to my car, insisting I roll down passenger window, she then went off on my son looking at him in the back seat. She said that he talked back to her when she told him to sit down on the asphault of the parent pickup area. He dared ask her why do they have to sit down. It was all a shocker, my child in crisis, in tears, and she berates him further. "Tell Mrs. Moore OK and you understand," I said.

We drove away and he bawled his eyes out. He said she had been yelling "Ethan sit down! Ethan sit down!" My son didn't know she was talking to him because his name is Ian, and there are several Ethan's. She has been his PE teacher in our small school for this the 6th year.

He also told me they had the presidential award for physical fitness testing today. He has been training hard to pass, it's been important to him. He said that she made the class applaud when other kids passed or didn't pass, but she was silent when he finished. I believe this because this woman had a problem with my older kids years back. And I let the school walk all over us, I had no clue about IEP's or our rights back then. But Ian is well behaved, outgoing, athletic, I don't understand why she is singling him out.

Ian also told me that she has made some other kids cry, and strange thing is that these are the kids who are in special ed with him. There is a new girl who was shy and cried because she couldn't run the mile, Mrs. Moore humiliated her in front of the class and patronizingly said, "Now tell the class then about how you think you have asthma!" And then there is Milo, autistic and overweight, usually having the longest mile run time, and she humiliates him in front of the class, making him stand up and say his mile time, he says it quiet because it's horribly embarrassing for him and she yells at him to say it louder. Ian also told me that for himself and some of the larger boys like Milo, sitting "criss-cross applesauce" is very uncomfortable, makes their legs and feet fall asleep. He says they're not trying to be disobedient and I believe him because this woman is scary.

Our school is public but elitest, and prides itself on being called the "Running School". There is no individuality celebrated when everyone is expected to be a runner, it's just not everyone's thing.

I am so confused and I have to find a solution. I think firstly I should talk to Mrs. Moore and ask what's really going on, or I could go straight to the school board. I am scared to talk to any of them, they are so intimidating, but I must before this sort of thing ruins Ian's future and education, and love of physical fitness too.

So many moms and great teachers here in our group, please help. What would you do? I'm worried.

[Trippin2.0]

I'd *****slap Mrs Moore!
Well thats what I'd want to do Have a talk with her, see where her head is at.Explain that you do NOT appreciate her yelling at IAN (wtf is ethan anyway) and that you will not tolerate it. If she makes your cranial hazzards go off even worse 1 on 1, then please approach someone with authority about your concerns... I dont understand how being mean to young children will motivate them to run faster, and its important that the school board is aware of this hostile behaviour...

thats appaulling C !!

sounds like she's in the wrong job thats for sure ...be more suited to working in a prison or down the mines or just as Lia said she needs a *****slap!

something aint right with that teacher...you know like on a personal and or mental level...can you get other parents onside? because dealing with these situations everythings gotta follow procedures and stuff.

putting in formal complaints...incident reports and that...

real sorry for your lad.

I am a teacher. Let me give you a few tips on how to work this problem. Go up the chain of command. Start with the principal. Ask for a meeting with the principal individually and then with the teacher (with the principal present). Do not bring hearsay into the conversation. Stay focused on your child only. Teachers and principals cannot, by law, discuss any other students with you, so bringing up other students will go absolutely nowhere.

Go with a list (keep it brief and to the point) of changes you expect to be made so that your son will be treated respectfully and with dignity. If your son is served through special education, you can absolutely ask for an IEP meeting where specific accommodations can be requested, including that teachers only speak privately to your son about concerns (and with care and respect; non-confrontational); calling him out in front of other students can absolutely be prohibited by law through his IEP.

Once you have that in place, if problems continue, move up the chain of command. If you can get these accommodations in place through his IEP, then if the teacher violates the accommodations he is breaking federal law. I don't know about your district, but our district takes those accommodations VERY seriously. Get the special education coordinator involved if the problem continues. PUT EVERYTHING IN WRITING. Your district should also have a list of special education advocates available to parents. Enlist the aid of an advocate if your son's special ed accommodations are not being upheld. Honestly, making this a special ed issue will generally have MUCH more impact than running roughshod over peoples' heads and not going through the chain of command. Special ed violations are serious matters.

[LucyG]

This woman needs to be brought to the attention of the principal and school board. I would collect all the 'evidence' I could about how she treats kids so a case can be made that this isn't one isolated incident since it appears she's very abusive. Get with other parents and find out if they've had problems with her as well.

I would contact the head of the school board and go straight to him about the situation.

[Trippin2.0]

Great advice Chris, was hoping you're around to point Blu in the right direction I'd definitly go with Chris' advice, she has the inside scoop. Plus I'm quite sure that *****slapping teachers are frowned upon

[OutlawedSpirit]

I agree that it could be very beneficial if you know any of the parents of the other students your son says are treated like that in class. It makes your concerns that much more concrete. Also, how big is the school? Is it possible to ask for your son to just be moved to a different PE class? Really it would be better to bring her attention to the people above her, but if it was possible to change who his teacher is, it would at least be an immediate remedy. If my daughter told me things like that I would be raising all kinds of hell. I was always one of the heavier kids in PE so I already am not fond of PE teachers.

Originally Posted by Trippin2.0

Great advice Chris, was hoping you're around to point Blu in the right direction I'd definitly go with Chris' advice, she has the inside scoop. Plus I'm quite sure that *****slapping teachers are frowned upon

Yes, honestly, I know that's what we "want" to do as parents (I'm a teacher, but first and foremost I am the parent of a special needs child, so I understand this predicament all too well.) However, if you want to truly be heard and have positive action taken for your child's welfare, you have to go through the chain of command, you have to document everything in writing, and you have to stay as "professional" as possible. As soon as you start ranting and raving, you've lost your audience.

[OutlawedSpirit]

It may be possible too, if the chain of command does nothing for your son, to talk to a lawyer to see what you can legally do after the chain of command, as long as you keep everything well documented. A lot of lawyers will at least to a free consultation. I think, from what you described, that it would constitute as abuse in a lot of places, so that is another option for you to think about. Like I said, most lawyers will do a free consultation, so you could at least go in and talk to one to find out what your options could be.

[Eliza Jane]

Originally Posted by farmergirl

Yes, honestly, I know that's what we "want" to do as parents (I'm a teacher, but first and foremost I am the parent of a special needs child, so I understand this predicament all too well.) However, if you want to truly be heard and have positive action taken for your child's welfare, you have to go through the chain of command, you have to document everything in writing, and you have to stay as "professional" as possible. As soon as you start ranting and raving, you've lost your audience.

I absolutely agree with all that you said. "Nowadays" so many parents jump all over teachers for perfectly appropriate discipline. This is clearly NOT what you are doing here, but I think principals and teachers have grown weary of parents who believe that their child has never done anything wrong and never deserves consequences. You want to make it clear that this is not what is going on here.

On another note, what is it with PE teachers? My most negative experiences with teachers were almost all PE teachers. I think it is one of the reasons I loathe exercise to this day. So many of them seem to have so little empathy for kids who are klutzy, or have health problems, or just don't enjoy their class.

Good luck,
EJ

[BlueInanna]

Some good giggles here in light of this nasty situation. I would love to *****slap this woman or kickbox her, but I'd probably lose - she's a PE teacher! And I agree EJ... I never had a good PE teacher... I had one who used to really single me out, I think it was because I'm not Asian and it was a mostly Asian private school, or maybe it was because I was clumsy. She was so mean to me!

It is a small school, there is no other PE teacher.

Farmergirl, thank you (thank you! thank you!) for the great advice, I will do exactly that. I will leave out the heresay about the other special ed kids, but I think I will talk to their parents and make sure they know, or find out if they've complained. I also want to talk to my son's main teacher and the special ed teacher. I think they'd like to know what's going on with their kids. Those 2 are very good teachers and I know they are both fond of my son and probably all "their kids".

I have a lot of social anxiety and not looking forward to meeting with principal, she is new this year. I'm sure she is fine, I just don't know her. The old principal I know well and am very comfortable with, but she is now the super intendant. I'm sure it would not be appropriate to go directly to super, right? I need to do this the right way, and stay professional, and not start sobbing uncontrollably as I have in the past at certain IEP meetings, etc.

Thanks guys!!

[Blue Poppy]

I agree with Farmer Girl. I would really point out her Ethan-Ian screw up. Sounds like she needs to be humbled.

[bluemountains]

How absolutely awful for Ian! Chris gave you great advice. Like Chris, I teach, and I also have children with special needs. I had to deal with one teacher in particular who belittled my daughter terribly throughout her fourth grade year. As an employee of the county, I had to step lightly, so I took my husband to every conference. We never got anywhere with the teacher, and luckily my daughter possesses pretty good self-esteem, so we were thankful when that year was over.

Definitely confront her, Blue-of course, taking the official steps. I think I would request the first conference be with both the teacher and principal, and maybe even the spec. ed teacher if any of his accommodations on his IEP have been violated. If you go to only the principal first, when he confronts the teacher, she may put a different twist on the story. Meanwhile, definitely talk to his teachers soon so they can protect him from the witch!

I always dreaded PE, too. In the "old" days, unless you were a superstar, there was no way to get an A in that class, and the gymnastics unit every year was absolutely awful! We had to perform on all of the equipment. How I didn't kill myself doing a forward roll on the beam every year, I'll never know.

I hate bullies. Go get her Blue!!!

Bluemountains

[Victoria'smom]

Also depending on why he has an IEP there can be accommodation like no PE, PE out-side school (community sports), or/and PE work books. You do need to talk to the principal.

[~Christina]

I am so pissed this has happened to your son ! So happy Chris is here to let you know the correct way to go about all this.

I guess this is yet another reason I love this site... Seems anytime we need specific information direction and help .... Bam !!! someone pops up with first hand knowledge.

Blue I hope you can this nonsense taken care of quickly and your son will not be subjected to the ignorance of someone that should be cheering kids on not making them cry.