[Melmo]

I've been trying to date in the last few years. I get so frustrated because I find I like a guy for a few weeks, and I want to be with them all the time. Then, I want to be alone and then everything they do drives me crazy. I actuallly rolled over and cried myself to sleep after having sex with one guy last year. I find I lose interest quickly and end things.
I change my mind ALL.THE.TIME. I want to be in a relationship, so I start dating.. Then I want to be single, so I end things. Then I realize, what did I do? I want to be in a relationship. I start talking to a few guys and arrange to meet a few from an online dating site. Just before I was supposed to actually meet them, I changed my mind and blew them all off. I am so messed up.
Earlier this year I dated a guy and eventually ended it a few months later. Recently he contacted me and said he wanted to try things out again and I agreed, and things have been going very well, I am very into him. Suddenly yesterday my mood has changed a bit and I want to be by myself and I am worried I am going to mess things up again.
I know I'm not doing a very good job of explaining things so not sure if this makes sense. Wanting to know if others experience the same things.

[iluvdukie1]

I am kind of the same way. But I never consider myself to really "date" anyone. I decide I want to date someone, I really like talking to them, and I get really chatty. But, after a couple days I lose interest, get annoyed at the fact if having to talk to them, they seem really annoying, and I am just plain bored with them. So, I then break up with them. I am always fine with it though since I think I am way too young to date anyway, so it never bothers me that much. It just makes me wonder if I will be the same way when I grow up.

[emgreen]

I've been lucky enough to find a woman who accepts my bipolar "peculiarities." There are such folks out there, so don't give up hope. It might be a bit harder for folks like ourselves, but there are understanding people out there. Don't give up hope.

[iluvdukie1]

Emgreen, you're completely right. The people I have dated have been very nice to me and always seem committed. The problems is I'm not, and I realize this and don't want to waste their time, so I just break up with them. It also helps that I don't connect with people very well, it always takes some time before I can really trust them.

[emgreen]

Originally Posted by iluvdukie1

Emgreen, you're completely right. The people I have dated have been very nice to me and always seem committed. The problems is I'm not, and I realize this and don't want to waste their time, so I just break up with them. It also helps that I don't connect with people very well, it always takes some time before I can really trust them.

For me, my tendency to isolate has been a HUGE obstacle in past relationships. The key was letting go & trusting the woman I'm with. As a result, my isolation isn't all encompassing. Perhaps M. is one in a million; she understand the periods when I tend to isolate. I feel for you, iluv...I've been in the same space you're in for considerable periods of my life. Hold hope that there's someone out there who understands BP, & is a buffer between you & the insecurities we all feel. Wishing you the best.

[iluvdukie1]

I am really happy that you have been able to find someone, and thanks! I appreciate it.

[iluvdukie1]

Also, I tend to isolate as well. I tend to avoid talking to them for as much of the day as possible, trying to focus on other things I have to do.

[hamster-bamster]

OP, maybe you should try more casual dating. Just casual, without investing much, at least for starters. You will be single but with dates - multiple concurrent partners, that is. Maybe this way you will keep your equilibrium intact.

[Cocosurviving]

Well you three are doing better than me. I have not dated since being diagnosed. I guess I'm on stage one---pushing the opposite sex away. I've had guys show interest but right now I'm not comfortable in my own skin....still tryna figure out the new me. I do feel lonely sometimes but after chatting w/ family or a friend I'm fine my mood changes. I'm afraid to have anyone close to me and don't see a relationship ideal for me. I can't handle too much stress or the responsibility of being thoughtful toward someone else. I'm happy for you Emgreen. I hope others post I'm interested in learning from others experiences.

[MilitaryMech]

I've always self-destructed the relationships before they could get anywhere. Not just romantic relationships, but same-sex friendships too.

My ex was the ONLY person who was willing to deal with my BS, or who could see through it and realize I was actually a nice guy under all the anger..... Sigh

As a healthcare professional, I would be remiss without saying this.... Please USE PROTECTION when having sex! I know I have had a tendency to jump into bed with any willing partner after my ex left...... Doesn't hurt to "bag it before you tag it"

[Trippin2.0]

How about not making impulse mood-based decisions regarding your love life? When you suddenly want to break up, write down all the reasons behind the urge. If on paper (and you can double check with someone unbiased) they are not logically good valid reasons to end things, promise to sit on it for a few days, and re-evaluate later.

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by Trippin2.0

How about not making impulse mood-based decisions regarding your love life? When you suddenly want to break up, write down all the reasons behind the urge. If on paper (and you can double check with someone unbiased) they are not logically good valid reasons to end things, promise to sit on it for a few days, and re-evaluate later.

That is a solid idea, and you can post your hesitations for unbiased readers to respond to, if you do not have access to unbiased opinion IRL.