things are really good, but it's scary

I have to fight
I've done it all my life
but there is no battle to unfold
and my stories have all been told

it's the curse of things gone right
when there is no reason left to fight

It's my guard I'm letting down
so the good can enter my life
my guard keeps it out
and creates just too much strife

so here I go taking this chance
it's something that's new
learning this song and dance

but I'm scared that the bad
will see the open door
and come running in
like it has many times before

I just have to trust
with nothing to trust in
it's like a paradox
i might lose or I might win

I'm being really careful now
cautious, and going slow
I can't be looking for the bad
if the good is going to show

so I'm blind you see
focusing on the good
scared of the bad
and what's under the hood

but I trust that I did
everything right
and that I can handle what comes
with all of my might

monkey, you would understand
how scary it can be
when things work out for once
and things are clear to see

and life gets good and things are great
and we just wait to meet our fate
of bad things that are sure to come
but they stay away and everything is great

and the fear that brings into my life
now I have something dear to me, something I love
that is new and that I can lose
and I don't think I could make it through if it went bad right now

but it's so great right now
and I'm not talking bout mania
things are just really good
and getting better
and they have never stayed good, ever
but i've never been stable before
and i have to trust that it will be different this time
but it's scary and my faith in it is really small...


ugh.. all that in one breath. lol

In this now moment, if things are good, that's great! Enjoy, you do deserve it, smile. When it's time to deal with a future problem, you will deal with it, you've got experience.

It's hard to enjoy the good that's happening now, because you expect the bad that inevitably comes......

But it doesn't have to inevitably come, does it? And this is where we get stuck.

"The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior" - My Dad

hmm tho it may seem that way, that kind of paints us into a corner, but then we learn that if we started painting in the furthest corner and worked towards the door, well then we have an exit. I know I know, I am a half full kinda person.

Plus behavior can change, people can change, situations can change. I kinda think if we expect the bad, it has more chance of happening, we might actually help it happen by seemingly accident.

I never said the old grouch was right ;-p

opps maybe that's why he's still grouchy

The bad will come, life is just like that, but I think our perception will either make it terrible or doable. So you are right about that, it will come sometime.

Who's the old grouch? Hey! lol...