[iluvdukie1]

I am just wondering... I do NOT want to have sex, I am WAY too young for that. I have no interest in it, but I am just curious. I know that if I did have sex, I would always regret it (at this age, if I was older and an appropriate age, then no). Also, I would be way too uncomfortable to be wearing no clothes, but I just want to know. What age do girls usually become sexually attracted to guys? Does anyone know? Cause I was just wondering if there was a certain age that most girls start being interested in that stuff. JUST curious, that is all.

[Anneinside]

You might try asking this in a forum for adolescent girls as it is not about bipolar. As for me, around 15 or 16.

[iluvdukie1]

Okie doke, I will try to post it on a more appropriate forum.

[BlueInanna]

I think I was boy crazy from about 12 on. I loved the romance idea. I don't think kids are really ready for sex until late teens or twenties even. They have no idea the emotional, physical risks and consequences. I can see it all easily now that I'm older and a mom. You are smart to wait.

[iluvdukie1]

I would never even consider it at this age, I don't see what is pleasurable about it honestly. If anything, I would want to "cuddle", WITH CLOTHES ON, hug, hold hands, or just be together in general with someone I like. But I haven't even had that yet, I don't get crushes. Guys at school are generally pretty stupid.
P.S. I probably would not dare to kiss a guy either, I don't like the idea of that much.

Okay Dukie, here it is. Puberty happens, and hormones go crazy. You can be boy crazy before puberty, during and after, or it may take a while. It doesn't matter cuz you are who you are. If you are finding yourself boy crazy, that is ok! Now... I have two daughters and you are one year older than my oldest, so I have to comment on this.

It sounds like you are curious because you keep bringing up the issue on sex. It is ok to be curious. It is NOT okay to give yourself to ANYONE at your age. I am going to be blunt here, and I'm sorry if anyone has a problem with it. but a child without guidance just means that no one had the balls to guide them. So I will.

At 13 there are things that are ok and there are things that are not. Now, the reason you should avoid sex at your age is that you are not mature and your potential partner would not be mature enough either. If you did find a mature partner willing to have sex with you, then you have found someone who belongs in prison. a boy your age will only ruin and destroy what self esteem you do have and totally abolish your reputation. They are not mature at 13 and 14. Kids at that age are still very mean in school, as you already know.

Masturbation is perfectly ok. there is nothing wrong with it. It exists for a reason, and it is nothing to be ashamed of. This is what should be happening as the alternative to having sex.

You will know when you are ready. But you have to grow up first. Be very, very weary of ANYONE who encourages you to perform sexual acts.

obsessing over cute boys is ok.
having crushes is ok too. these are normal stepping stones in life. Just be careful who you tell that you have a crush, cuz at this age, they won't keep a secret very well and it is you that will suffer.

Some things are ok to keep to yourself. there is nothing wrong with that.

let yourself develop, and your curiosity is normal too. just don't take anything past that.

You are def. a girl who is wiser than her years! You have been dealing with a lot. It kinda makes people grow up faster when they suffer inside.

what this means to you is that you will have to wait longer for the boys and girls around you to catch up to you! It may be that you will be waiting a long time, and you will have to be patient with everyone your age. You may see things that they don't. Don't try to convince them of seeing things your way. Just be patient. They will catch up.

There! I had my talk with you! I hope that I have helped you in some way or another.

Oh yes.... and Dukie... I know that you like to P.M. a lot, and that is ok. But you do need to hear that this topic would not be ok to private message anyone about! Sex talk should be out in the open at your age. Please, please be weary of anyone who private messages you or that wants to talk about sex in private messages. Now I know that you prolly know this, but you haven't seen life through my eyes or the eyes of an adult yet. you will, but you haven't seen the horrors that we adults have when it comes to adults and kids and sex.

Please just be safe online, ok?

[faerie_moon_x]

Originally Posted by iluvdukie1

I am just wondering... I do NOT want to have sex, I am WAY too young for that. I have no interest in it, but I am just curious. I know that if I did have sex, I would always regret it (at this age, if I was older and an appropriate age, then no). Also, I would be way too uncomfortable to be wearing no clothes, but I just want to know. What age do girls usually become sexually attracted to guys? Does anyone know? Cause I was just wondering if there was a certain age that most girls start being interested in that stuff. JUST curious, that is all.

For me, I was about 14 when I started to get that kind of curiousness. However, I wasn't ready. I had a "boyfriend" and he really wanted to. My ex-bestfriend and her boyfriend (who was friends with the guy I was with,) did it and then they broke up and she got with another of their friends and did it with him, too.... That just seemed.... uncool to me, really. I mean, we were only 14! She became a real guy hopper. But me, I wasn't ready and I told the guy that I wasn't, so he dumped me!

But you know what??? I did the right thing. I wasn't ready. I didn't love that guy. He wasn't even really nice to me or anything.

After that I didn't date anyone until I was 18, and there was yet another guy who wanted that from me, but I wasn't ready. And I told him no, and he dumped me too. Which just shows you how low of quality he was, really. So I'm glad I didn't do it with him, either.

I was 19 when I lost my virginity to a boy I really loved and thought I was going to marry. It didn't work out. And it broke my heart. But, my heart healed and I don't regret waiting until I was older and for someone I loved, even though it didn't work out. I don't regret not having a ton of boyfriends or not having tons of sex in high school. I feel good knowing that I waited.

[Anika.]

I am a bit of the opinion that one should wait to have sex, wait to have sex until you would be able to handle the outcomes. I am not just real old fashioned, but the consequences are hard for adults to handle let alone teens. The first one, having a baby, that's pretty real, with 7 billion of us on the planet.. and birth control does fail, or I would not be here nor would my youngest son or a whole bunch of people I know who are a result of failed birth control.

The the world of STI's, and STD's, pap smears, and all that jazz that comes with the territory. HPV which can cause cervical cancer, but is actually quite common. My sister found out she had cervical cancer when she was 18, it did almost kill her after rounds of chemo and radiation, which had to be stopped before the cancer even went into remission. She is extremely lucky that it did, no one thought it was going to happen, and she also had a baby to be here for by that point.

Then the emotional part, which can be devastating and even more so if you are not ready for it. I guess I think the adult things should be saved for adulthood. And there is no hurry or rush to get there. You only get to be a child and a youth for a small percent of your life, but you get to be an adult for most of it, so relish the time you have being a youth while it is there. I know you said not now Dukie, but I just gotta say it anyways.

I think around your age or 14 or so, Dukie I was a late bloomer, I didn't even get my period till I was around 16, so my hormones likely were behind too, everyone is a bit different. And no there is nothing wrong with crushes or any of that. I remember having crushes at that age, but I didn't want to have sex with them, that comes a bit later I think for most people. I had a lot of friends who did become teen moms, and it was not so great for them or their babies.

[Seaswept]

How old are you?

I became interested in boys around 12 ..sexually attracted to them at around 15 but did not have sex til 20. I lost 3 years of my adolescence (16-19) due to bipolar depression.

I think 18 is a good age.

[Victoria'smom]

When was I attracted in boys? I don't really think I ever was. I had always been "the other 'woman' ". I think I get attracted to personality. My current husband I met at 17. We were both our first real relationship. Now I wish I got to know myself before getting involved with guys but I was hyper-sexual at a very young age.

[hamster-bamster]

I had my first attraction in third grade. Reciprocated. Then, nothing for a couple of years. Then, another mild attraction, circa 7th grade. Likewise, reciprocated. Then, nothing... and then a serious attraction in high school which eventually led to my first sexual encounter at 19. So you can say that I was late. And even that first sexual encounter was without intercourse - oral sex only. Intercourse, not until 20 or even 21.

But I have always enjoyed being pursued by boys and still enjoy that being almost 42 - that is part of my core personality, I figure. And I think most women who have not been through horrific sexual abuse are like that. I have only been through mild childhood sexual abuse so I am OK, intact, and enjoy male attention.

[hamster-bamster]

I think it might also be connected with the onset of puberty. I think I was late because I had late onset of puberty - my menarche was at almost 16 years of age.