[hamster-bamster]

At BlueInanna's request... what I have found during online dating

For today I will just mention people whom I have already blocked

--a cute 20-year-old basketball player who wanted to come over, watch a movie together and cuddle. I conversed with him for a bit, then the rational part of me took over and I blocked him without an explanation. I was really sad because my son is almost 20 and a basketball player too - I wish he were as eager to converse with me.

--a 59 year old guy in medical manufacturing who asked for my dress size. The people on the relationships forum voted to delete him so I deleted him, without explanation. Do you think I should have provided an explanation to improve his chances with the next woman?

--a cute 34 year old guy originally from Delhi banned for a barrage of off-color sexual jokes.

--someone with the name "I am Leather" and a picture on a motorcycle. I have been afraid of motorcycles since early childhood, so that guy was out right away. Plus, god knows what sexual expectations someone with such a username has and I certainly am not willing to go into that territory.

--someone who wrote a two page letter that looked like spam, seemed mass produced and mentioned that he had a 25 year old son, a granddaughter, and was godloving. Somehow that combination was too much for me so he was banned.

That's it for today.

[hamster-bamster]

sorry for the typo, I will ask the moderators to make a correction, sorry!

[BlueInanna]

Bleh... I don't think I will be visiting a dating site again any time soon. But thank you for the share.

Limit the age groups that you're interested in... to avoid wasted time. I've had the unfortunate dupe by the boy claiming to be a certain age when he was really younger But for me , they need to be at least 30 I think.

[bluemountains]

They all sound creepy to me, Hammie!

[moodiegirl]

I used to be on dating sites a lot a few years ago. I'm glad those days are over.
I remember one guy contacting me, he said he was about 50 years old, looking for a "young discreet lady". He also told me he was married and a "devoted christian". I almost threw up on my keyboard. And another one asked me straight away if I'd sleep with him for money. Eek!
But then again, I also met my husband online. Needless to say he is nothing like those creeps.
We have a saying in our language, that you have to "separate the weeds from the flowers". I think it applies here.

Hi. My name is Bob. I, uh, like women. I like them a lot. If your reading this, and uh, your one of those women, then, like, call me, ok? And we can, like, hang out and, like, do stuff together. I'm like, 30 or something and I don't pick my nose and wipe it on the couch or anything, so I'm like, clean and stuff. I don't fart either, cuz I like, can do that on request so I have full control over it. How many dudes can say that, right! So like, call me and stuff.

hahahaha... sorry, couldn't resist!

[BlueInanna]

That's hilarious Dan!

Years ago I was on the match.com and looking at the female profiles to see what people write. One woman wrote, "I'm looking for a man, any man to help me with my kids, I have 5 of them. Seriously I don't care what you look like. Help!" Pretty funny, at least she was honest.

[faerie_moon_x]

Be careful on those sites, Hammy, there are a lot of scammers looking for people who are looking for love. It's really sad. We had a patient get duped by one, and she lost her life savings to that person.

[BlueInanna]

Very true DH. I know a woman who sent over $10k to a man in Africa claiming to be a Spanish millionaire, who first needed a plane ticket home to see her the love of his life, then he was mugged, then he had a car crash with a petrol truck and had hospital bills, then he needed a new plane ticket, then he was arrested at airport with cocaine that was not his, then he was stuck in Ghanaian jail and needed money to bribe the guards. I begged her not to do it, but she said she was in love, she wouldn't listen so sad and infuriating. Now many months later, he's never shown up, and she's broke. I know Hammie is wiser than this woman, but still be careful.

[faerie_moon_x]

Love can blind you, that's the truth. Dating site scams are the worst because they take advantage of that "blindness."

I met my husband online, but on an online game. It was more like fate.

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by BlueInanna

Bleh... I don't think I will be visiting a dating site again any time soon. But thank you for the share.

Limit the age groups that you're interested in... to avoid wasted time. I've had the unfortunate dupe by the boy claiming to be a certain age when he was really younger But for me , they need to be at least 30 I think.

I did not request 20 year olds - I am just a garden variety bipolar woman, not THAT crazy. He was looking for older women on his own. I need to check what I requested but it was well within the range of reasonable.

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by landskaperdan

Hi. My name is Bob. I, uh, like women. I like them a lot. If your reading this, and uh, your one of those women, then, like, call me, ok? And we can, like, hang out and, like, do stuff together. I'm like, 30 or something and I don't pick my nose and wipe it on the couch or anything, so I'm like, clean and stuff. I don't fart either, cuz I like, can do that on request so I have full control over it. How many dudes can say that, right! So like, call me and stuff.

hahahaha... sorry, couldn't resist!

You should have your own humor column.

[hamster-bamster]

I cannot send someone my life savings - I am in debt. So, in that regard, I am perfectly safe.

I took it to RL yesterday and went on a coffee date and then roamed art and antique stores with a lovely East Indian guy, but no sparks. Now I need to tell him that, and I feel sorry for him (he already expressed interest in seeing me again). But I know I have to be honest and upfront; I do not want to disappear on him. I actually want to propose that we become friends and play badminton together, just nothing romantic - does that round reasonable? He is not a creep - he is actually in the same profession as I am and from his conversation it is clear that he is not lying (the right terminology and stuff) about it.

[hamster-bamster]

Today was an easy elimination date, and unlike yesterday, I think this was mutual so I will not have to belabor my response in order to make my point without offending a person.

A Stanford professor from Ghana. When I was growing up, I had older friends from Africa. Felt really comfortable with them, so when I was suggested this guy's profile and saw that he bikes, I offered biking as an activity together. He wanted to have tea first. Sure. Well, he has a despicable smile, so it is a no-no. Despite flawless intellectual conversation. I would not even go biking with a person who smiles like that, to say nothing about romantic stuff.

So that was easy.

During the conversation with him I forgot the word "anarchy" and could not remember it until he pronounced it, so yes, Topamax does give that side effect a bit, but not too much.

[faerie_moon_x]

I think it's perfectly reasonable to suggest friendship with the Indian guy. I mean, you only went to coffee so it's not like you were leading him on.

I think you're doing this the right way, meeting them in person right away so that you don't get emotionally attached to something that's half way imaginary.

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by dark_heart_x

I think you're doing this the right way, meeting them in person right away so that you don't get emotionally attached to something that's half way imaginary.

Totally. I need to hear a person speak and see all his little mannerisms to get my data about a person.

[hamster-bamster]

I have a lot of messages on OkCupid but I am too tired to look at them. I have too dates tomorrow - a lunch one and a dinner one. I am tired. I need to start a spreadsheet because my buffers are getting full. I thought I would enjoy the attention but it does not feel like fun - it feels like work. Anyway, it is a good problem to solve and I should not be complaining.

[Livebythesea]

My experience was that there were a lot of messages/effort put in at the beginning because the site let people know when a new member comes on...but after awhile it definitely slows down - at least it did for me. Enjoy!

[hamster-bamster]

I have made an arrangement for a lunch date on Monday with a charming young East Indian guy who has lived in Sydney, Australia, UK, Oman, Ghana, the Netherlands, and a dozen other places. Educated at Stanford/MIT but plays that fact down, does not brag. He is totally charming on chat, very very polite and altogether too nice, and I am afraid that there would be no spark because, I am afraid, I get attracted to guys who do not treat me well and he is trying his best to treat me well. He would send chats to me a couple of times a day, checking to make sure that he is not interfering, until I suggested that we meet (because I need to see and hear a person) and he could not believe his luck, so he is not spoiled, which is so refreshing.

I still have not composed a nice, warm "let us just be friends" note to the first Indian guy.

[hamster-bamster]

The guy I saw today is from Kenya but he is of mixed origin - Irish, Portuguese, East Indian, Kenyan, and something else I forgot. Dual citizen of US/UK. Very nice, but I have the feeling that I went to a business presentation rather than a date. I feel bad - he brought me a birthday present, wanted to kiss me and stuff, but I just firmly said "no". He said "but I tried". I said "yes, you did a wonderful job". I was so glad when this date was over.

[hamster-bamster]

So there are lots of messages but I am not opening them because I cannot handle them now.

So that would have to wait.