[hopeeternal]

I am bipolar I, with psychotic breaks. There, I said it.

I'm here because I've been spending a lot of time on a marriage forum, dealing with my wife's recent infidelity, and am finding that, now that the initial shock is wearing off, I need help from others who have had similar issues: dealing with infidelity while also trying to deal with bipolar disorder.

Since my wife had her affair, I feel that, on top of the depression that triggered, I am experiencing almost PTSD-like problems: lack of motivation, emptiness and loneliness. Even though my wife is on board with trying to heal our relationship, and that is going pretty well, I still feel "sick." And stuck.

I can't seem to get out of my hole, and I am now becoming comfortable in this hole, and I know that's wrong. There's so much to do in life; so much to get done, but I cannot seem to move forward. And I have responsibilities to take care of, and a life to live. But I'm not living; I'm surviving.

If you are either a betrayed spouse or a disloyal spouse and have found coping mechanisms or other help in dealing with this double-whammy, I'd love to hear from you. Thank you in advance for any help you can offer.

[faerie_moon_x]

I think the first thing to remember is it is going to take a while to heal. These are some pretty huge emotions that go along with infidelity. It's going to take a long time to get past things. Remember that it's like a death. You're grieving the marriage you had, because now things are different. You're going to go through all the grief steps. And just like grief it will take time to resolve each one.

I think it doesn't matter if you have bipolar or not, this is one of those things that hit everyone extra hard.

But, you can heal and you should work toward healing. I know someone who never took the time to heal and now is messed up by the whole thing. He like has three faces. On the one face is the person who used to be in there, a ghost behind the eyes. The second face is that of someone who desperately reaches out to any woman who shows him attention, causing him to repeat toxic behavior over and over. The third face is the hatred and angry at all women because he keeps falling into that same pattern. So, you don't want to end up like that.

But, give yourself time to recover.

[hamster-bamster]

You are describing a typical response and nothing specifically bipolar. I am glad your wife is on board and collaborates in healing attempts; do not neglect to have sex with her regularly. Regular cardio is also indispensable to lift the depression, bolster the self esteem, and improve the general outlook on life. Shoot for 1 hr of cardio daily.

[hamster-bamster]

I also think you and your wife need to get out of the house together - say, to see a movie or some such. Just to hang out together.