[Anika.]

Did that take a long time or what, what a procrastinator I am. I just was not ready. Today.. I was not ready but I went in and just got them to do it on the spot after months of trying to avoid the whole thing. It took the girl two hours to cut my hair! That's a long time in anticipation.. since I was having such a hard time with this whole thing, go figure it had to take forever for the process. The universe is awesome like that.

I know when I posted that thread I was really upset. I think I am still upset. I have no idea what that attachment to the hair is all about. Well a few things I know... watching what felt like my womanhood been chopped off and thrown on the floor and into the trash can.

I still feel silly about this, and why this is so hard for me. I have to work tomorrow, stupid.. I should have done this when I had more time to adjust because tomorrow will be comments and questions and me feeling awkward and back to elementary school. Did I ever say I hated childhood.. The constant ridicule and name calling over the boy hair my mom always made me have. Seems so silly, for some reason that really impacted me.. I had a lot worse things to worry about than that. I don't get it really.

I feel so dramatic sometimes.. even my own tummy cringes.. it's ok.

[unaluna]

How long was it??? And my sympathies. But I shave my head every few years whether I need it or not - I usually need it because the color builds up on the ends, so I just start fresh.

[BlueInanna]

Oh wow, you finally did it! I would have such mixed feelings, probably would wear a hat for days. I'm a little attached to my hair too. i can remember being a little girl like 4 or 5 and my hair was so thin and blonde and barely grew, I was just a toe head. People would ask me if i was a boy or a girl. the other girls hair all seemed to grow fast, my sister had long hair. and i didn't talk, i was just a unique little elfy kid.

so did you totally shave it or buzz or what? you probably look awesome. and i know from pictures of you, there's no doubt these days you're all woman mama.

[hamster-bamster]

I think you would look good without hair, honestly. Not everyone would, but you would.

[Trippin2.0]

Wow Anika, I can imagine how you must be struggling with this, you've been putting it off for a while, but you know what, it will grow back HEALTHIER thank before. Please dont fret about how you think you are 'supposed' to feel about this, and instead post how you do feel, so we can be there for you

[Anika.]

I still have some hair, modestly short. Its the freaking ears that is bugging me. I spent like 2 hours in the bathroom trying to adjust it. No way looks right.

Hankster it was about to the middle of my back. You are a braver woman than I. Tho I do have to say woman look amazing with no hair, I have always admired it when I see it. I also imagine it could feel sort of freeing too.

When we were kids we went by the last name Morris because my dad wanted us to blend in. our last name is 13 letters long and hard to pronounce.. I guess was the thinking in this, or because my family was ashamed of where we come from.

Anyways there was this book "Morris the Moose", kids got great pleasure out of this for years because my ears stuck out, of course the short hair didn't help. I think I have since grown into my ears, but I have always been highly self conscious about them, like pretty bad. I would tape them at bed time hoping this would help, my mother would always tell me not to tuck my hair behind them or they would stick out more. I remember wanting to get surgery on them soo badly. My bf says they now only stick out a little enough to be elfy and cute.. I try to listen to him.

There was this movie "Morris, the Midget Moose"... Yes got that one too, funny how using a fake last name was supposed to save us from this.

Now I know most kids do go through this, nothing really new here. The moral of the story Morris the Moose is about knowledge and it's relationship to evidence, whether the evidence supports what we think we know. I better go read it again.

Maybe tomorrow I'll tell you about the kid who refused to sing skimery dinky dinky do at school repeatedly because of the sinful content and ended up being put in counseling because of that incident. ya ...

[Anika.]

And thank you guys for the support. I hope tomorrow I can try to like it a little at least enough to not feel so self conscious.

Ohh and the kind compliments! That is always nice for us to hear. I am working on believing them myself and will put them into my evidence pile.

Trippin, thank you for that. It's hard for me not to feel like I "should" be ok with it. Or that this is where vanity gets you, or something like that. Some stuff is drilled into my head pretty good.

my hair has to be long.

anything else.. and i'm really embarrased by it

[Anika.]

Shattered, that is pretty much how I am feeling. Hmm the women in my signiture don't even look like they have hair.. just little hats. They don't even have faces and they still look ok.

Oh I just got an idea...bwahahaha ....

Originally Posted by Anika.

Shattered, that is pretty much how I am feeling. Hmm the women in my signiture don't even look like they have hair.. just little hats. They don't even have faces and they still look ok.

Oh I just got an idea...bwahahaha ....

hmmmmm, and what kind of an idea would that be?

[~Christina]

Ahhh so you did it ....I know this is huge for you. I can't put together words right now.. But I care. I am here for you.

[Lauru]

Anika, you are beautiful with or without hair. But I understand your feelings, I do. I was always partial to my hair. I have long, thick, naturally curly dark hair. With big brown eyes and tanned skin. I was pretty cute and girly as a child, tho I thought I was ugly. I am still partial to my hair. I feel as though it is the only thing about me that is beautiful. And once,in high school no less, my hair was accidentally cut about an inch long all around my head. I nearly died. But then I have a very odd shaped head. Anyhow, you are beautiful.

[faerie_moon_x]

I haven't cut my hair in almost 3 years. I don't mind having my hait cut necessarily, I've had pixi cut and all that before.

My reason to not go is everyone cuts my hair into a style that is too old for me. Even as a teen, no one I ever went to (and I went to lots of people) seemed to think I deserve a stylish, young person hair cut.... At 20 years old I was getting "mom" cuts, or even now I get what I think are cuts for 50/60 year old women if I go in. It hurts my feelings and pisses me off. I know I'm not media pretty, but I'd like a cool, stylish hair cut. I always wanted an A-line cut.... a really sharp one. I always ended up with Mary Tyler Moore hair or Mrs. Brady.

So I avoid it because I always always am disappointed and feel extremely ugly after.

[Anika.]

DH do you tell them what you ant, or just let them do what they want, or do they just do what they want anyways. Some hairdresssers are bad for that.

I print out photos and take with me. And I make sure they know exactly how I want it before cutting starts, plus they have a huge picture in front of them to look at. Seems to help.

You should have a young hairstyle.. You are young!!!!!

[faerie_moon_x]

Yes, I've tried the picture thing, too. I always tell them what I want. Once I had this girl and she had this really cool way her bangs were cut. I was like, "Oh I really like that, can I get the same style on my bangs?" She rolled her eyes a bit and looked like she was trying to supress being pissed. But she said "Sure." She then proceeded to butcher my entire cut like revenge. My husband said I was just being paranoid and she messed up. But, no, I totally believe she did it on purpose just from the look she gave me.

My hair is just long and it just hangs down. I always tend to go back to this. Hair hanging down, not styled. My husband says he would like it if I style it but I struggle at it. I feel terrible about it.

Sometimes, I know I use my hair to hide my face, because I hate my face so much.

How short did you cut your hair? To a pixi cut? I won't do that again. It makes my head look like a ball with fuzz on top. LOL. I know it can be hard to cut your hair when it's long. I wish I had t.v. hair, you know, how it's alwas perfect and never needs to be brushed.

[venusss]

awwww, Anika, sorry to hear.... but I am sure you can pull off short hair very well. And you'll get fresh undamaged hair.

[Seaswept]

Originally Posted by Anika.

Shattered, that is pretty much how I am feeling. Hmm the women in my signiture don't even look like they have hair.. just little hats. They don't even have faces and they still look ok.

Oh I just got an idea...bwahahaha ....

Hats are our friends lol.

The idea of fresh new hair sounds awesome. I sometimes am tempted to cut it off and get rid of all the color.

Originally Posted by Anika.

Today.. I was not ready but I went in and just got them to do it on the spot after months of trying to avoid the whole thing.

This is a good way to do it! I call it "doing it before I have a chance to think about it", lol. Usually that is exactly what gets me in trouble but with procrastination it's a relief because it stops the gnawing.

"Evidence pile"--yes! Ready to add to that as needed!

Originally Posted by Anika.

Oh I just got an idea...bwahahaha ....

The official Bwahahaha Rules state that you must share.

Originally Posted by dark_heart_x

My reason to not go is everyone cuts my hair into a style that is too old for me. .

Had to laugh, dark_heart. With someone new, I always make very clear there shall be no soccer mom or fogey hair (just not at all who I am). Even if they don't know quite how old I am, there is a tendency for them to go conservative especially with someone new. (Guess most people like that sort of thing.) The most recent (and current)... showed her 3 haircuts to combine. She was... quite apprehensive about her ability to pull it off and being a bit "out there" apparently raised the ante. I just told her, "Just go for it. Don't be afraid. I'm not afraid. No worries." (Lol. Hey, I've gone after it with dollar store scissors in the middle of the night, soooo.... )

Originally Posted by Anika.

my mother would always tell me not to tuck my hair behind them or they would stick out more. .

My grandfather (not genetic) said not to or I'd have big nostrils like him(!) Heheheh. Um, they're normal in case you were worried.

(I didn't talk either, BlueInanna!)

I'm glad you finally did it, Anika, and hope you are settling in with it. Healthy, that feeling of lightness and washing is zooop and done!"