[bp09]

Was quite terrified of the thought of a cocktail of meds...and the side effects those meds have. I'm so scared of brain-changing meds. Trying to come to terms with having a chronic, uncurable disease. But the rest of the day was stable, albeit a little high energy.

felt really depressed last night (yes, and harmed myself)

but today the need to harm is not as strong... still feeling pretty depressed though

[wildchild r]

alone, depressed, misunderstood,hopeless..thats me..

[Clinte89]

The end of my world as I know it has ended I got approved for ssi so today is going great! Can't wait to see what the rest of the day holds, my dad is talking about taking me to a fish lunch hooray! And I'm happy today and its only 4 days till I get y camera lens so excited!

[peaches86]

Well today for me has been alright. So far ive managed not to cry. Im feeling manic and have been racing round my house cleaning everything over that i did yesterday. My thoughts are rapid through my head but ive not had many bad ones so im ok with that. My fiance will be home soon and were going to go out and eat. Yay to that dont get to do that often. Ive been thinking about my past alot but it hasnt brought me down any as im excited cause im soon to be married. My fiance and I are going to go look at rings in the next week or two and will be married shortly after we buy them. I have to take my prestiq again tonight which will be my second dose so im not looking forward to tomorrow. Yesterday i felt so drugged and sick i hardly ate. But i think with the way im feeling today it may work? I really hope so.

[BlueInanna]

I'm ok, a little unmotivated to do boring things I should be doing. Right now, I can see rain coming in... It's weird and cool, I can see rain drops falling in front of the trees across the way, but it's not here yet. Neato

[creativelight]

I just scheduled an app with the psychiatrist, after what? Almost 7 years since I was diagnosed.. I figured I can try to be more focused and organized. I'm hoping some meds can help with that.

[rossiv46]

Feeling very anxious but worked out this morning. Now I don't want to clean house. Kind of depressed also, but I did do something positive this morning so it's not so bad.

just checking in ( 22 30 at night).

checking these forums before signing off to probably watch the rest of gavin and stacy christmas special which i started yesterday.

will speak to you all tomorrow....

[~Christina]

I have dropped another Jean size!!!! So yep great day

[Christa87413]

I have felt sick all day long, and my phones mood tracker will vouch.. As well as super tired, unmotivated, and kind of well.... I guess indescribable? Mixed emotions today... I'm lonely, anxious, agitated (that just started), among others..

[BlackPup]

A bit bored. Waiting for hubby to do his part in cleaning up the study and bedroom ready to make a nursery for our baby. (It's due in April) we have friends staying in the spare room for the first week in January then I get to start getting baby furniture!
Mood is good. Ready for Christmas.

morning peeps....

right now- listening to heavy dance music (not because i like it) but because i'm trying to drown out all the christmas crap!

ggrrrrrrrrr!. christmas and it's music so needs to be banned

[gary290]

I'm new to this thread but I've been posting on Smart Recovery for about a year. I have Bipolar D/O, GAD, Social Phobia, and I'm in recovery. I was stable on Lithium and Neurontin, but had some cardiac trouble and had to get off them. Now I'm searching for meds that work yet don't have cardiac side effects. My Bipolar has been out of control.

I woke up manic at 4 am. Feeling like I'm coming out of my skin. Just started Lamictal last night...25 mg for 2 weeks, then 50, then 100. Also take 1 mg of Risperdal. Went to my therapist and the pdoc last week. Using meditation and chanting techniques to help the mania until the meds kick in. I'm bored with meditation and listening to chanting. Bought a 40 of Old English this morning just in case. Didn't drink it...just in the car. It's not a great plan but then again I am manic! Not thinking real clearly. I have 6 months sobriety and don't really want to blow it.

Work was horrible this week dealing with mania and anxiety. Started the week with Latuda on Monday. That sent me into a manic episode so I had to quit taking it. I feel like I'm at the mercy of the pdoc for mood stabilization. . . so frustrating. I working with the therapist on ANT's and perception. Writing down thoughts. But the mania is just too. . . to think my way out of it. So I thought I would find a thread at PsychCentral where I could write and process. So that's what I'm doing.

[LadyShadow]

Bit bored actually....this end of the world thing has me thinking a lot about the future. But I am stable. Doing good. Its just gonna be a lazy day with all the cold outside.

[peaches86]

Feeling neasuated, drugged and restless. Not a good day for me.

[Christa87413]

I hate that drugged feeling!

[missionscorpio]

sitting in a Chinese restaurant on my own after the whole day with my son. She either doesn't care or doesn't realise how it is affecting her family.

[roads]

Im feeling really angry. I'm overwhelmed just now with physical problems and it seems if I weren't bipolar--didn't have fog of bipolar meds to work against, didn't have the mood swings every day to manage, I'd have whatever I need to take care of all these physical concerns age is bringing on.

But no ... first thing when I wake up, even before the physical woes get to take a swing at me, with the first deep breath of air the mental insanities fill every brain cell. Nothing's ever really there 100% to deal with the physical ... 50% is already out there coping with the mental illness.

I'm very angry. Oh, yes , I can deal with it. But I'm very tired of being able to cope. Angry I'm so capable. That's my talent? There's no fun or satisfaction there, just work. And I'm angry about all that work, too.

[bp09]

I was so up and positive-ish for such a long time that I forgot! The depression! The apathy! It's creepy and it makes me a big B because I just want to hide somewhere quiet and alone. And then I don't care that I was a big B. Which is a brilliant coping strategy. Good on you, brain. Today was such a rollercoaster...

[Christa87413]

as of right now, I feel foggy, adn drugged.. Not myself. everyone is snapping at me because I can't fully think, I can't remember convos, things I have said today. I can barely remember half of what I even did!! this sucks:-(

[peaches86]

Feeling disconnected with myself. My dads in the hospital..had a heart attack. Cant focus on much and just out of my mind. Going to bed now. Tomorrows a new day i guess..hoping for a better one.

[~Christina]

Pain in through the damn roof today Had to drop off my Dog at the vets for boarding, this is the last day to drop him off since they are closed now until the 26th . I leave for Florida 12/26 at 2am.. I miss my dog already! He always know when I hurt so bad and will lay right against.. he is my heating pad.

[Ash0198]

Accidently missed my meds...the big *** D for me! Had a family grt together and my Aunty was constantly asking what the hell was wrong with me...day dreaming "zoning out ", and forgetfulness is a huge one for me...it was so embarrassing and I didn't wanna seem rude or anything...but it's something I really cannot help...and I don't think they fully understand that, which is hard.

for once in a few days, it's not actually raining outside my window- not that it matters really, still.. it's odd to get a day in december without rain so thought i'd comment on it.