[Nycoma]

I am doing OK, I live in a basic permanent mixed episode - today there is a major battle between the mania and depression. I have been more hypo-manic lately, til today. I am anxious to see my psychologist on Tuesday - she is the most amazing and am eternally grateful for finding her. But seeing her is also triggering things big time, so I continue to fight.

I am also tired of the hallucinations that come with the mania, so sometimes I prefer the depressive side. So messed up.

[gary290]

I drank to much sweet tea on tuesday and the caffeine kicked me into a hypomanic episode yesterday - still reeling from it. So I'm totally off the caffeine - no morning cup of coffee anymore. I wrote out a list of new thoughts and behaviors I can use during a hypomanic episode. It's so hard to put those in place when you're in the moment of irritability or anger. I was in a depressive episode until yesterday. Now I'm really agitated. Trying to come down - slow down - relax. Bipolar D/O is so damn inconvenient & annoying!

[bipolarOne79]

Doing better today, didn't have to stressful of a day at work luckily. Hope I keep getting better and better.

[HabitualQuitter]

Today I said no, I enforced a boundary in a healthy way and I think it ended my relationship with my sister

[Darth Bane]

bit hypomanic today... plus it was raining... and i love maroon 5

[sadp8r]

I too am bipolar. Lately I've been depressed over feelings of loneliness. Today seems worse than yesterday for me...

My lack of good REM sleep took its toll on my this evening....I was not a good daddy to my little angel. Well she wasn't exactly an angel, she was kinda pushy and she also knows how to get her way with me. But still, I was very agitated and didn't respond to her the way I am supposed to...I was an arse to her and I am not happy with me.

I had never considered the connection between caffiene and hypomania.....could that be why so little caffiene seems to jump start me like a turbo?!?

[TippPatt]

Great News !! It stopped raining!! Since I also have SAD, the past few days as the first tropical storm passed over have been 'not so good'. I've accomplished NADA. I have however pondered. And for me, it's always good to ponder and make a plan prior to doing anything as I get sidetracked quite easily.

So - this morning, woke up about 24 minutes ago, got up and STRIPPED THE BED - oh yeah - took my meds and came to report that my pondering of changing sheets while the rain was blasting has resulted in one stripped bed with linens before the washer, and when Poppie gets up, there will be another and BOOM - changed sheets. COMPLETION.

Hence I'm feeling rather 'inspired' at the moment. Have a great day folks.

[TippPatt]

Great news - sheets changed and washed - Poppie fed and off to play - chores done and it's Nap Time. Yeah!

[roads]

This was our first week at work with no boss in place--boss we'd had for a year moved on to a better job. My peers seem to have a mass case of the giddies when they're at the circ desk with me ... definitely less focus. The general mood teases at me, makes keeping balanced difficult. Already, after only a week, I'm feeling irritated.

[TippPatt]

This doesn't look good. I've started this check in note three times now and my puter keeps eating what I've written. Because my anxiousness stems from the fact that I heard from my attorney yesterday and finally have my disability hearing set before a judge that I've been working on since January of 2009, I'm simply skittish.

Reporting that, coupled with a freaky computer upset doesn't seem good to me, but that's my paranoia and I know that. But still -------------- scares me to death.

[gary290]

Originally Posted by TippPatt

This doesn't look good. I've started this check in note three times now and my puter keeps eating what I've written. Because my anxiousness stems from the fact that I heard from my attorney yesterday and finally have my disability hearing set before a judge that I've been working on since January of 2009, I'm simply skittish.

Reporting that, coupled with a freaky computer upset doesn't seem good to me, but that's my paranoia and I know that. But still -------------- scares me to death.

Good luck with the disability Tipp. I'm sure it's anxiety producing to say the least. My paranoia has been up there too.

I've been in a hypomanic episode since Wed. Trying to use my coping skills. Using lots of REBT and ACT techniques.

[Darth Bane]

today went ok i guess, thogh once i told myself "why dont you just kill yourself and be done with it" anyway i needed to do important task, done that. i also bought pink colored shirt it is not that pink, it is very very faint pink

[kdclement]

Uuuuuuggggg, the tears won't stop, I'm so sad. I feel like giving up on the whole thing.

I swear, sometimes I think I'm raising five kids and a whole family in here. Will you just shut up? Please? I took my meds hoping they would make me sleep. No peace for the wicked! I'm a horrible person. Or was that someone else?
Leave me alone, go find someone else to talk to, I don't want to talk with you anymore, I'm tired of convincing you you're wrong, just shut up.

[Moreta]

Yesterday was kinda horrible. My husband was gone for the day and my friend bailed on me. I spent most of the day crying.

I feel ok now. My husband is still asleep and I keep wanting to go wake him up to see how yesterday went, but I don't want him to get mad at me. I got home at 2:30 am, so I better let him sleep. We're going out to my boss' house at 2 this afternoon, to bring her into the 21st century. She got a roku and we have to set it up for her. Then she is going to take us out to eat. Should be fun.

[gary290]

Originally Posted by Moreta

Yesterday was kinda horrible. My husband was gone for the day and my friend bailed on me. I spent most of the day crying.

I feel ok now. My husband is still asleep and I keep wanting to go wake him up to see how yesterday went, but I don't want him to get mad at me. I got home at 2:30 am, so I better let him sleep. We're going out to my boss' house at 2 this afternoon, to bring her into the 21st century. She got a roku and we have to set it up for her. Then she is going to take us out to eat. Should be fun.

I'm sorry that you had a hard time. I know that sucks. Enjoy going out to dinner.

For me today's been another day of mixed episodes with depression (flatness) and Hypomania (irritability). Even though I tell myself that I hate being a bipolar, I have to use rational self talk and say it's not the end of the world. This too shall pass.

Some days it's like pissing in the wind.

[Mack2]

Lost my self. I don't recognise myself anymore

Erratic sleep patterns have left me vulnerable to attack. I got really short ans snippy with my kiddo and she didn't like it much. I apologized and was forgiven and got a real big hug out of the whole thing.
Sleep is SO important and I just dont get enough.

[Darth Bane]

i am feeling restless, there are stressful few days ahead of me, it is not going to get better , not for at least next 4 days. there will be 4 days of hypomania- then trigger - which will push me into mild depression or mania... i can actually predict how this week is going to be... it is like staring at avalanche when it is coming towards you... i don't know why but i find this whole situation funny,very very funny....

Had a long internal talk with myself about learning to follow routines before going to bed yesterday. Then I find out I'm out of meds. I'm beginning to suspect my stress coping strategies are not working very well for me. I guess it has gone too far when coping with stress means not checking how many pills are left in the box, not checking mail for six months, not answering texts or picking up phone for weeks and pretty much not doing anything that could make me stressed. Except all the things I have to do which still make me way too stressed. I've just been so out of it lately.

Edit: Feeling nuttier by the second..

[EBD8]

Very irritable. I would slap myself if I thought it would help.

I got caught up on my sleep so my energy level is back and I am not so irritable. I have been depressed about the house Foreclosing, and then at times I am happy because we tried for years to get a refi and they wouldnt help us. Now they are going to get back a house that wont sell for anywhere near what we paid for it.

[gary290]

Maybe this is as good a place as any to be really honest. I'm so tired of pretending to be okay or happy just so I don't bum anybody out. I've been so depressed lately. . .and irritable. I even drank 4 beers on Sunday to try to chill out. I'm eating too much and have problems sleeping. It seems very hopeless right now. I know it's not, but the feelings. . .The hypomania has been terrible. I'm trying to accept that I'm bipolar and this is how it is sometimes. But man this sucks. I feel like I'm JUST getting by. No joy!

[Moreta]

My day was stressful. I wrote checks, then had to dig around in the file room looking for stuff from 2011. One of the discs we found that we needed was all f'ed up though. The owner was yelling all afternoon, so that made me feel bad, even though he wasn't yelling at me. I pulled a lot of hair out today. The worry stones I ordered are on their way, so hopefully they'll come soon. I really hope they help me to stop pulling my hair. My hair is getting a bit thin on top.