Bipolar is really screwing me up!!!

I can't trust ANYTHING I say/feel anymore, I keep losing track of reality. I convince myself that I can be something, and when I snap out of mania I realise what a fool I'd been. It's so tough, I've always wanted to be an artist and sometimes I really THINK I'm brilliant, and when I get depressed I realise that I'm not good at all, when I feel normal it all becomes confusing because it's two extremes and I lean back and forth from them. It's really starting to upset me, I'm not dealing with it well at all. People around me tell me I'm a gifted but "troubled" person, that only makes matters worse to be honest.

I can relate alot to what your going through. I too love the arts of all kind though. I sketch and paint, cross stitch and sometimes write poetry/quotes, though writing since last year has become more difficult. I get to a point in where i believe something ive made is worth giving and sharing to its not good enough. I just sketched and painted a wintery scene from a picture i took years ago as i love scenic photos. I thought it was just soo awesome and then days later thought it was horrible. I usually dont give my creations away much as i like to hold on to things but i gave it to my counsleor as a gift. I told her how much i didnt like it and that it was awful and unworthy of being hung or placed where others could view but she disagreed. She placed it in her office ontop of a filing cabinet for others to see which fears me but its hers now. I have come to know after years of expierence that i feel this way alot about my work. I dont think i could ever make it go away but if others enjoy/like things i make i ask myself why should i go on feeling like its still bad? Im sorry i dont know how to help you feel better about your art but im sure its great i just know what your feeling and want you to know your not alone in your thought of this. Take care and God bless

yep....... bipolar does really suck!

but the way i see it... could be a hell of a lot worse

Pippa
Have you been, or would you consider going to art college. You would find out then where your talents lay, and get the ecouragement and advice you need to take things further. I am sure you are correct in thinking your work is brilliant, its the bipolar that makes you think that its not x