Seething, alone and hurt. RANT

Just be careful even a hypo can cause a crash into nasty depression. (This from the person who hasn't slept and has missed two doses of meds This week - a bit the bit calling the kettle black!!!) hope the meds help the anxiety and fibro.

Yeah, the inevitable crash... Well he'd just have to book me off work so I can cry in peace then wont he? It would be his fault afterall! Dont worry about kitchen appliances, its all good

Hopefully if you do go hypo you won't crash due to the ADs. I don't think it's dumb to want to find relief, sis. Stress is terrible for you 100%. I hope that since she was not at your house you're starting to relax at least a bit.

Oooh I think I am, and cant at the same time... Just spent the last 2 hours with my ex... We got back together... It seem so surreal, I really thought he was done with me and my BS...

Wow, really?

Yess Hammy! I cant believe it either... Omg never in my wildest dreams did I expect him to return

Wonderful news!

It is yes, thank you! 2013 Seems to have started off on a great note

Fantastic ! Just when things are damn near unbearable... Something just pops up out of the blue !

I am Thrilled for you Thrilled I tell you !!!!

See, there are always lighthouses in the fog! Sometimes you just can't see them coming until the light is on you.

Hi Trippin,

I'm so sorry your personal space has been invaded. And I agree with Hamster B. you need to set boundaries and stick with them! They are walking all over you. That is great about your ex

On a diffferent note, I just wanted to say it would be so scary to put myself in your SIL & nephews shoes. To be homeless would be a scary situation and bound to affect your personality

TnT

So glad that I can share the great news with you guys. Afterall it was you who were subjected to my post break-up whining for a whole year!!!

Awwww Have a wonderful time. Be cautious too with your beautiful heart, ok?

Thank You Blue, cautious is the plan yes, but with my heart, that's new territory for me, so I'm trying to take it slow, 1 step at a time...

it's the cost of being a really good person. the cost of caring. the cost of having a heart.

hang in there Ophelia... you can do this!

I decided not to... Love and I were never good bedfellows. Told him we can be friends, nothing less and no innuendos of anything more... He's not in a space to commit, I'm not in a space for anything less, so I kinda ended it before it began. The ending was just too clear for me to ignore, and I refuse to drive myself nuts. So yeah, that. Sorry for getting you guys all happy for me for nothing. To think I hoped a whole year, and then end it before it began... Senseless

Not senseless. If he's not in the right place for a relationship, you've done the right thing. Otherwise you're just going to chase something you can never catch. I think you saved yourself a lot of sleepless nights, actually.

Thanks sis I know I'm right, but feel like an idiot for not even trying. I have to look out for me though, and that's what I'm doing...

Yes, you have to look out for you. And not feel guilty! I think that staying as friends is good for you right now. Sometimes you get things from being friends that you don't get from a relationship, because you don't have messiness in the way. If you know what I mean?

Yes I do, and told him I'd much rather prefer my best friend back... So now to figure out how to go back to pre-coital friendship...

I'm sorry It may not have worked out the way you wanted it to.. but You looked before you leaped and realized you both were not on a the same page, Still hurts like hell. Sending tons of love your way.

Thanks Christina

...this just sounds all too familiar to me
it's not senseless...but likely sense-more!

when love falls apart ...?

some people ...well?

they just get miserable and solemn for a while.

others....well?

they just fall apart too

body bits and pieces heart broken scattered emotions burnt like injured charcoal featurless human damaged beyond belief!

I pray sometimes...cos I believe in God an enormous beautiful thing in the universe!...

once..there was this girl I adored all particular special like she was the only sweet peach on the tree...and oh boy how deeply moved was I forever smitten..

...unfortunately she be not so sweet so much sometime mostly a cold person and on another planet to me but oh awful unlucky it was far too late I was beyond rescue bein' a damn virgin at the time and all that.

any feelings she had just dissolved in the chilled atmosphere surrounding her before they reached me and I inflated my heart impossibly huge to sustain the both of us and blisteringly hot did things get inside me I cooked in my own emotions and committed suicide...over and over to kill the hopelessness...such is love when it don't work out!....damn!

...so I prayed this one day night whatever in some acid dream ..."God give me this girl please please do this for me"

and.

whadda' ya know?....11 years later God did give her to me...like the miraculous perfect emotional storm she was out of her depth it seemed WHY?...does she now want me?

after experiencing the real emptiness perhaps?....of boring bullsh..t love in the superficial land of the wandering stupid!!

...but what happened to me in those 11 years was just too much and all caused by serious neglect and stuffed if I wanted to chance that again and so I put on my best a.s.s.hole face and scared her right out of my life!

cos I was scared

and I will never get rid of the feelings...it's not very fair all that much Lia

Well said James so sorry it went sour for you too. He's agreed to my terms of friendship, and we've set up some boundaries to keep things platonic. Not what I had hoped for, but like I said, I'd rather have my best friend back than a torrid love affair... So I'm happy about that part atleast

thats good

.