but i'm sitting here listening to everyone talking, having a laugh, eating... and i'm thinking what the hell?

why am i still here?

2012 was a total mess- i don't deserve to be here

i've so many problems physical and mental... i'm like... why?

just had to say somewhere

[Ladyzero]

S.S. Doll, you are here for a reason. We all are, even pathetic me. If 2012 was a mess, let's hope 2013 is better, for us all. We have to have hope, and look for a way out, for a better, dare I say the h word ? Yes a happier life.

I'm hardly the voice of optimism, wallowing here myself, totally alone, but I hate to think of you hurting, Dolly, you really have a lot to give the world, you're young, obviously bright, your posts and conversation display that clearly.
Even if the people round you, are not your cup of tea, at least they are there, in your company, and when it's all too much perhaps retreat to your room, finding comfort in your music, books, friends here.

Keep your chin up, Doll. Try and look ahead. Jeez I should listen to myself ! But hey-ho, I just hate the thought of you hurting.

[wildchild r]

Shattered, Lady Zero, you are both echoing the same thoughts Ive been having, coupled with some bouts of rage...Why me?? all those innocent poeple who have normal lives to lead,a future to work toward, why not me whom has not forsight toward a future?? Take my life not thiers!!
"I'm hardly the voice of optimism, wallowing here myself, totally alone" I agree with your train of thought LadyZero,
The reality reamains,WE are here and for what ever purpose..and I hate the thought of you hurting the same way I am..
The same way many of us are hurting..REmember you are not alone first and foremost.
I bet when you think about it truthfully, I bet there are alot of people who care about you, who are gald to know you,who have learned alot from you...just as I have these same blessings..
My new years started off ranting, my sisters got me laughing, reassuring me they love me...it lifted all that anger, allowed me to play and laugh..give them a chance..transpire the negative thoughts to anything other, than whats self destructive...YOU CAN DO IT!!
Good luck Shattered..conqure those demons! We are with you in spirit and prayer..

[Ladyzero]

Yes indeed. We all have said why me ? I'm sure. I often wonder is the Lord bloody listening ? What's the plan Lord ? because the game stinks ! Frankly. Are you having a laugh Lord ?

B l o o d y listen to me !

[wildchild r]

lol Lady Zreo, I often considered writing an autobiography called "
when The Critters Hush"
It would be a comic tragedy about my life,thinking God created me for comic relief in the face of my broken heart..but what kind of God would that be?? not the Father in heaven I understand to be, no less than what my earthly father would want for me..
I think we are the ones strong enough to defeat the challenges put before us,stronger than the average persons..