[SamuelAdams1313]

around 3 years ago, I was diagnosed as bi-polar II. My parents brought me to a psyciatrist because of depression, anxiety, and anger problems(not random outbursts but fits I would throw If something did not go my way) The first thing I said to the p-doc was that I had punched holes in the wall from anger, and WHAM! "you're bi-polar II'' . He put me on lamotrigine and my life has never been as good as it was before the lamotrigine. Went off the lamictal a couple of times. Tried seroquel EPIC fail. nack on lamictal. was on and off ssri's abilify, clonazepan. xanex, while staying with the lamotrigine through all the combinations. xanex and clonazepam were the only things that worked, but I had to quit those bc of abuse. I was also diagnosed as ocd in high school but the former(different) p-doc then mentioned nothing about bi-polar but just a bad case of ocd. he put me on a low dose of risperdal and it tamed most of my problems.

[SamuelAdams1313]

but in high school the risperdal only brought the severity of pure o down a little and did nothing for the depression, anxiety, inability to focus, etc.

[SamuelAdams1313]

and my depressed mood swings are from situations. not random. I may be a different person on occasion bc I can't get things that are bothering off my mind. OCD. **** i'm pissed. I'm gonna suggest getting off lamictal

[Clinte89]

It sounds like your defiantly angry and did you get a second opinion? Maybe that's in order.

[BipolaRNurse]

For what it's worth, I think mood stabilizers are the backbone of treatment for BP---eliminate them, and everything else falls apart no matter how many drugs one is taking. I don't believe it's so much that Lamictal has effects we actually feel, but we'd notice its absence. It's like making a screwdriver: you have orange juice and vodka, but if you don't have a glass, all you wind up with is a mess.

I know it's frustrating when you don't think a drug is doing something for you, and FWIW, I take a good-size amount of Lamictal myself and it doesn't fix everything. But everytime I think it's not doing anything, I remember what my life was like before I started it and realize how much less severe my mood swings are now. I still have them, and I'm still a rapid cycler, but the effect is blunted.......I used to rage at my family, screaming at the top of my lungs until my throat was raw. I don't do that anymore. I also used to bounce off the walls and do silly things like pressure-wash my porch for 4 solid hours. I don't do that anymore either.

Of course, it's up to you but I think taking yourself off Lamictal and not substituting another mood stabilizer would be a mistake. Just my two pence worth.

[Confusedinomicon]

Have you looked into borderline personality disorder?

[~Christina]

3 + years ago I was diagnosed Bipolar I . Tried all kinds of medications and doses, I also was seeing a Therapist.. I believe in my case the Therapy has been the most beneficial. I have learned in Therapy and HERE that I do have a certain amount of control over my situation and how I react to things. It has incredibly hard work and made me look long and hard at myself and ways to be better, feel better,live better. Its not a solution but a work in progress. Its not foolproof of course I still have ups and downs ... I just feel like I have more control over my day to day life.

I hope you can ways to feel better.

[Debi54]

I agree with the other posters. I don't take the same mood stabilizer, but I have the same opinion about mine on occasion. I've been on Topamax for about 10 years, (before that, Depakote), and every time I feel like my dose isn't high enough or it's not working and I should stop taking it, I think about what my life was like before. I was only diagnosed when I was 31 (I'm 43 now), and spent most of my life thinking I was just crazy. I couldn't focus on anything, never finished anything I started, got angry at everything. Now, if I mention not taking it, my son threatens to go live in my car! So it does work, I just don't feel it. But I would miss it f it weren't there.

[faerie_moon_x]

Well, the thing is, that with BP your moods aren't necessarily random. We all have our triggers, which are situations that can effect a mood flip. And it can be something that seems completely stupid and insignificant to someone else. But all of a sudden you're swinging too far one way or the other. And the funny thing is, even if you hear that little voice in your head going "you're over reacting!" it's like a hurricane force that keeps you moving in that wrong direction.

And Meds do not magically take that away. They may help tone it down, but it can be a long road to find the right one. Therapy needs to be in there as well to learn the coping skills, and get things out in a safe environment.

[BlueInanna]

Why would it be a lie? Sounds like you were just surviving best you could. Your parents probably didn't know what else to do. imho, a trusted therapist, or therapy group is the real miracle drug.

Your past 3 years were not a lie, hun, just life. This is where your mind goes to the extreme thinking, I do it too.