[Passion222]

I went to the dermatologist and he had to look at skin on my face and I turned bright red and burned up. He asked what's wrong. I said "I hate the way I look and hate having you look at me". I kept looking away. He kept reassuring me that it's ok for him to look at my face. I just can't stand how I look. I can't even look in mirror much anymore. I see a ugly repulsive fat acne infested person.

[perseverance11]

Originally Posted by Passion222

I went to the dermatologist and he had to look at skin on my face and I turned bright red and burned up. He asked what's wrong. I said "I hate the way I look and hate having you look at me". I kept looking away. He kept reassuring me that it's ok for him to look at my face. I just can't stand how I look. I can't even look in mirror much anymore. I see a ugly repulsive fat acne infested person.

Hello Passion222,

It is not because you have achne that you are not a good person. For me, the inside counts more than your appearance.

Is there something especially that bothers you?

[LucyG]

I call relate. I stopped seeing a psychologist because I couldn't stand having him look at me.

Have you ever read much about body dysmorphic disorder? You might be able to relate to some it........

[LiveThroughThis]

Originally Posted by Passion222

I went to the dermatologist and he had to look at skin on my face and I turned bright red and burned up. He asked what's wrong. I said "I hate the way I look and hate having you look at me". I kept looking away. He kept reassuring me that it's ok for him to look at my face. I just can't stand how I look. I can't even look in mirror much anymore. I see a ugly repulsive fat acne infested person.

I am in the same boat as you with the body repulsion. I'm grateful we have no full length mirrors at the moment. I've stopped wearing makeup because I figure why bother.

Though I no longer suffer from it, in my teens I had awful acne--the kind no OTC med could touch. My derm tried Differin gel on me before it was on the market, didn't work either. This was also before Proactiv, etc. I ended up taking Accutane, which obliterated my acne; I only have a few pimples around my period. But it was an extreme drug; its ingredients/chemical makeup were so potent it caused serious birth defects in pregnant women, so I had to take a pregnancy test monthly to ensure that wouldn't happen. Derms don't use it anymore--I read once Europe did research & determined it was 900 times as likely to cause depression as other acne meds.

Anyways, before I got that serious-but-wonder drug, my face was covered in acne. It was gross and I felt hideous; I couldn't touch my skin without causing immediate breakouts. So I sympathize with how you feel. Are you on an acne med?

P.S.---Just because you have bad acne doesn't mean once you get it taken care of your skin will be scarred. I rarely picked at my face because I'd seen ppl with the pock mark scars and i was terrified that would happen to me. But ppl are shocked when i tell them how bad my acne was because there are no scars, thankfully. There's hope hon,

I have always hated the way I look too, not just cuz of skin but cuz I've never liked myself. My problems have come from being rejected as a kid by all the others in my school and not having parents at all to build me up. I understand!

[MommaR]

I had to have a second from front tooth pulled last yr. I had a "flipper" made for it but it doesnt fix and causes so much pain Icant wear it. I am so self conscious. It has aged me so bad, I cant even put on make up bc I cant stand to look at myself in the mirror long enough to. MY husband is younger than me by a LOT and I dont know how he stomachs being with me romantically.

[faerie_moon_x]

I also hate the way I look.

I don't put on make-up or anything. I don't look at myself a lot in the mirror. I don't shy away when people look at my face, but I will be thinking in my head that they are making fun of me, or they will be later.

[Blue Poppy]

............. i was at this state last month, so frustrated about the acne. I have tried everything OTC, didn't work. I tried antibiotics. Didn't work. I tried differen gel. Didn't work. I have not been on tazorac gel for about a month and my skin is slowly clearing up. I am peeling like crazy, but I would choose peeling over acne!

[messedupteen]

It sounds like you have body dysmorphic disorder. It's okay - I have it too. Try seeing a counsellor about it.

[Doxie mom]

Originally Posted by Passion222

I went to the dermatologist and he had to look at skin on my face and I turned bright red and burned up. He asked what's wrong. I said "I hate the way I look and hate having you look at me". I kept looking away. He kept reassuring me that it's ok for him to look at my face. I just can't stand how I look. I can't even look in mirror much anymore. I see a ugly repulsive fat acne infested person.

When I went on lithium I had a major outbreak of cystic acne. They were everywhere and the would break open and bleed. I felt so disgusting I could see how people looked at me. I have been fighting it for six months. I went on accutane and the difference is amazing my face is so clear. I can understand how acne can make you feel bad about yourself. I hope your dermatologist can help you.

[Cocosurviving]

Hi---I hate ur dealing w/ this but thing it's great ur not giving up. The fact that u went to a dermatologist shows ur strong....u took a step toward solving ur problem. Stay strong and I wish u look in finding the right med.

[Happy Camper]

I only had mild to moderate acne, but it also made me uncomfortable and self conscious. Pock scars were my biggest fear.
_____________________
I feel like I'm the only guy on this forum, lol.

i hate the way i look too.

when someone looks at me i have to turn away and think to myself... omg, out of everything in the world you could have looked at- you chose me?

why look at me... i'm good for nothing

I used to and sometimes still do struggle with the way I look. I used to be so proud of my rock hard belly but since I've had three children, I not have a stomach that's covered in a bit of flab and A LOT of stretch marks. Most times I won't even let my husband see it or even touch it when we're being close. I have felt so uncomfortable with being a size 12 instead of the size 7 I used to be but as time goes on, I've gotten used to it and sometimes don't even care anym ore (in a good way). Let go of those feelings of insecurity. You are beautiful just the way you are.