..remember how I wanted to change my name?

well somehow in amongst that it did get changed...

I am still confused but I figured it out...

the spelling got changed?....what the?....F?

cos I could not 'log in' ...anymore like I always could and I went bad thinkin' I was rejected by this place and it's all borderline from there...

and messy ....this kind of confusion can kill a person so emotionally wrecked like me...

but ...clever me weirdo set up a second account a while back...and I know it's wrong....and it just sat around...and I asked for it to be removed...

and like all my requests they get ignored apart from accidental name changes??

and life is a faulty thing...I guess I am pleased I discovered what happened...and it was not possible without breaking the rules

..because I used my second account to access ME

it just blows me away how much I need to hold onto an identity...

I broke the rules here and I understand when I'm let go.....

I already broke loose anyway

[faerie_moon_x]

So wait, I'm confused....?

I see it is different. Wasn't it dubblemonkey before? I think so...

But so you made 2 accounts and the old one got deleted and this is the other one??? Or they changed the name of your account and then another account got deleted?

Identity is important. Its a huge trigger for me, but my identity is very unstable... or it's not... but my name is very unstable. And so somewhere inside I'm like just little pieces of a whole thing, I think, trying to hold them together with tape.

...even in a glimpse I barely looked and it changed back

I'm sure I'm in a panic attack

...yes I am in a panic attack

hate bein' this vulnerable

everything I ever do is an attempt to prove I'm ok

can't do it right now

[faerie_moon_x]

Whoa....

What the heck???

Don't they know they have a room full of paranoid people around here? This is freaking me out....

hey...it's ok

don't ask me why or how?

it just is for you and me

[faerie_moon_x]

Still... it's like watching a magician and one second he's there and the next he's gone, and you know that there's a little door somewhere that he ducked into, but that other part of your brain whispers "what if there's not?"

Smoke and mirrors.

Originally Posted by dark_heart_x

Still... it's like watching a magician and one second he's there and the next he's gone, and you know that there's a little door somewhere that he ducked into, but that other part of your brain whispers "what if there's not?"

Smoke and mirrors.

thankyou dhx ..amazing intuitiveness.....amazing!

[faerie_moon_x]

Just trying to reality check. LOL.... and not feel watched....