Having bad day would like to share ... But

oh speed... you'll start getting out of the house when you are ready to. this is your son we are talking about here, it's gonna take some time for things like going places and getting out of the house. I'm sure that when you finally start smiling again there will be some guilt associated with that as well. but it all takes time... but you have time... and you will be ok.

Nice! Art therapy should be great! Can't wait to see what you create!
I found these we sites, hope you can find something that helps there!

http://www.griefcycle.com/dealing-wi...ss-of-a-child/

http://www.compassionatefriends.org/...ons/links.aspx

Thank You

I found and joined this site because I was having a very hard time dealing with my Bipolar 1 disorder. I had made some big decisions about medications that my PDOC wasn't very happy about.

When I joined I had just weaned totally off Seroquel after being on it for 7 years.
I was feeling more alive was staring to drop weight. Over time the dose of Ativan I was and I am on now had become incredibly high. So high I could not find a new PDOC to take me. My PDOC of 13 years, well how would you feel if your PDOC always fell asleep during your appointments ? I was slowly dropping the Ativan dose.

Being off the Seroquel I felt I would face challenges that having support like this group would help.

Never could I have ever imagined my Jason, my only child would die in front of us from heroin.

I know this is not a grief site. But the level of depression I feel and the suicidal feelings I have are things you guys have gone through.

I remember in August when Jason had a close call I said if he died so would I.
Each day this week I have been going down down down .

The tv being on usually is comforting now it is grating my ears.
I took 50 mg of seroquel and 6 mg of Ativan (this is not a lot for me I am on 12 mg of Ativan daily). Hoping I could go back to bed and space out. It is not working today. My mind is electric my ears are buzzing. I don't know if I should take more seroquel and or some Benadryl.

What does anyone do in a situation like this?

You're welcome! It's a big challenge speed, I'm not sure how things should work to get you in a better state, but I think having as much knowledge about everything you can, will not hurt. I think is awesome that you're here, because we also see the world as you do. We may not have experienced this kind of irreplaceable loss, but we are definitely able to connect with you in other ways. I don't know much about meds but I found google is my best friend. What you don't know, search, you're bound to find something that can help!

what someone does is find and form relationships on the site and use them to help deal with the grief that you feel. it doesn't need to be a grief site to get support for it. I'm here, and so many others are too. We may not be certified grief counselors but we are certified (or certifiable! ha! just kidding) in life and so many on here have so much to offer!

This morning, Speed, all I can say is that I'm sending a prayer up now for your calmness to return and for you to have some rest in the afternoon.

It's going to get better gradually; you know that you will be able to function well when when your system is really restored.

Cut a lemon in half and squeeze it into an 8oz glass of water; drink it. In 4 hours if you don't feel calmer, repeat the process. That should give you a much calmer feeling tone because the acidic reaction of drugs will be eliminated by the alkaline residue of the lemons. The buzzing, etc., is being caused by the meds, I think.

Keep us posted on how you are getting along, please.