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#1
Feb 02, 2013, 11:25 PM
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I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder last week. They've been speculating for over a year now; and apparently they have all the evidence they need..
Right now; I feel manic- my thoughts are racing, I have so much energy...I haven't slept much the last 3 days, and lastly I had a scary out burst of...I wouldn't say anger; really...it was more like severe agitation. The smallest thing set me off. I wanted to hurt someone. Maybe myself; or someone else; but I wanted to hurt myself to stop me from hurting anyone else...Of course I didn't tell anyone that part; so no one took me very seriously..(i was at work at the time; and I didn't want anyone to think I was suicidal or anything...)After I cried, and punched myself in the leg as hard as i could a few times...It faded away; but It scared me very much...I'm scared it may happen again. I'm willing to hurt myself over and over again in order to keep me from hurting someone else...When I've been in this state before; I've never had this much irritation, so It was very strange.. Sorry for the long winded paragraph...I just wanted to see if this is a normal part of "Mania"...the agitation, the urge to harm...you know..
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"Doesn't matter if you're weak. If you struggle hard enough, you can make a miracle happen." - Minene Uryuu "Next time, I won't make the same mistake...I promise." - Shion Sonozaki "We evolve beyond the person that we were a minute before. Little by little we advance with each turn. That's how a drill works!" - Simon "I don't think anyone is born with a reason to live. It's something you have to find for yourself." - Tohru Honda |
 Odee
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#2
Feb 03, 2013, 12:07 AM
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My Mania is a ugly mix of irritation self loathing and self harm. Hopefully you will be seeing a Therapist and they can help you learn ways to cope and your bipolar will be easier to cope with. Things will get better with some hard work.
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Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
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#3
Feb 03, 2013, 09:37 AM
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so you got bipolar .... could have been worse... as i understand you get those dangerous feeling just when you have mania right? this mania can be easily controlled with mood stabilizers like lithium,if it was depression then its hard to control... so take meds,wait for 10 days to have effect... and if you are lucky everything will be alright!!!
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I am lost in my own mind !  Hypo-mania and Depression are alike a Knife of Dreams !  Dx - Bipolar II  I'm not feeling well ... I got pain !!! Effie, We all got pain !!!!! 
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#4
Feb 03, 2013, 10:20 AM
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Well I know for some people irritation is a big part of their mania. So its not really impossible. I think its called dyspohoric mania.
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“When everything seem to be going against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it ....” ― Henry Ford lamictal 200mg, synthroid 75 mcg, Testosterone injections thanks to lithium causing thyroid problems |
 BipolaRNurse
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#5
Feb 03, 2013, 10:39 AM
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What you have described is the majority of my mixed/manic episodes. The land was described to me by a pdoc is that the agitation and aggressive feelings and feelings of self harm are depressive side of the mania , where the willingness to act on it is the manic side of the mania, it is also called dysphoric mania.
I'm sorry to hear that you're going through this at this of time, hopefully with your doctor you can get this under control. The Wolf
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BP 1, PTSD, BPD traits Meds: Triliptal 300mg 3x a day, Abilify 30mg and Klonopin 2mg Change is life giving! It helps us grow into someone greater than we already are. |
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#6
Feb 03, 2013, 10:45 AM
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Yeah... I get the irritation thing too. Not the most fun part of mania, that's for sure. But I agree with the comment about therapy- that should help. Find a great therapist, that's the key. It's not easy... if you're anything like me, everything sounds great in therapy but in the actual moment it's about a billion times harder to make yourself use the techniques because you just want to focus on being irritated.
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| BipolaRNurse
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