I feel like I'm doing something wrong talking about it.

[faerie_moon_x]

If there's one thing I know, it's paranoia... at least when I can actually regonize it.

it feels like the world is cold, like everything has changed, huh?

[faerie_moon_x]

Hmmm, no not really... paranoia for me is very intense. It doesn't feel like anything is changed, it just feels like "Aha! Now I see the plot at hand!"

So, uhm, here's an example. In July when I was in the hospital I still owed them money from having my baby in the December before. So the first time I was in the ER a lady comes to ask me about it. I tell her about payment plan and she leaves. When I am in the ER a second time another lady comes to ask me about it, and I tell her same thing. Once I was admitted a man comes and asks me about the same thing! So I also tell him. This all happened on Saturday.

Then, the waiting starts. And I am laying there, knowing I need surgery. But what is going on? It's very hard to get information, and the nurse is even confused, not a lot of information coming out way on what is going on for me. So by late Sunday I say to my husband, "It's because I owe them money, they're going to make me wait and am less of a priority." In fact, I tell himt his mutiple times. Well, no, of course not that wasn't it, and he assured me of it. But it was still hard to shake.

You see?

yes. I see. that's not how I am feeling at all. I feel like everything has come out from under me and that everything is different now. Like, everything has changed. It's a horrible feeling. I don't know what it is, but I've felt many times before.

[faerie_moon_x]

There is a name for that... I don't know what it is off the top of my head, though.

[BlueInanna]

Impending doom

[Secretum]

Paranoia is hard to define. My friends joke that I'm paranoid because whenever I'm out walking at night I look behind me about 50 times to make sure that there is no creepy guy following us with a knife. But I'm not paranoid, just anxious and a little overcautious. (thanks for the self defense thread!)

Could that be what's happening to you? Maybe it's a part of your anxiety disorder?