I don';t log on here just to be reminded of the kind of person that I am.

I am really hurt by all of this.

can we just let it go... let it die.....

I can't handle this anymore

can we all just agree that I am a piece of **** that started somet6hintg and that I am sorry and just let it go.

I am begging all of youy... just let it go!

each post is just remiinding me of how bad I am.

I come onto here for support. I just want ot dissapear after this morning.

My whole world just fell apart and you won't stop! just stop!

I am in tears asking you to stop. I DON'T CRY! just please stop.

this used ot be a safe place.

this used to be a place zi woudl go to safely let it all out.

this ins not my safe place anymore.

I need help. I didn't mean to start all of this. I have let down the people trying to support me and i let down teh people disagreeing with me and I just want to dissapear...

this has gone way too far. all of this... and why? why must it be this way? I was only trying to help. I was. I meant so well....
and people were trying to support me....
and I let them all down, I let down all of you....
and others were, i don't know what they were trying to do....

I feel so beaten down.
I am so confused.
Is there no one to talk to?

[ellipsisdream]

I do not know you well- I am relatively new to the board. I know you have said things that helped me, and I thank you for that. All I can really offer is hugs, and the hopes that you feel much better soon. And I will check back and see if there is anything I can do to help.

[BlueInanna]

I'm here too, just trying to listen.

I don't even know how I got to this place. What happened? what caused this? I feel so hopeless right now. I can't lose the support of this place. Yet it's falling out from under me...

is it that I am not smart enough? You know, to keep up with the debates? am I not trying hard enough? I really want to know! What can I do better? to not be THAT person. I hate that person. I really hate me right now...

it feels like I really, really did something wrong....

I feel like....
i don't even know how I feel right now...
I wish I could stop.
I just don't understand!

what about me is so wrong? is it just who I am? or is there something I can change?

it's been like this my whole life. it's a huge trigger when this happens. I've never had stability in relationships. they always go south. always. this is heartbreaking to me.

and I just want to talk to someone.
Why won't he respond? is there nothing to say? So that's it then? he is right and I am left broken in pieces?

[Darth Bane]

hi
stop blaming yourself .... you actually can blame me....
i started that bit about fighting first .... you just gave your opinion .....

I'm not blaming anyone. I jsut.... what happened?

[Confusedinomicon]

You weren't attacked, Dan. Someone else had more experience in the field and tried to tell you what they know. Maybe they were wrong for overwhelming you, but that doesn't mean they were being malicious.

If you feel really threaten wait a day or stop posting in the thread all together. We have to accept that we are not perfect creatures and sometimes our experiences do not align with present research/'facts'/whatever. With humility we accept we may be wrong sometimes and learn from those experiences.

I hope you stay. You can email or pm me if you need anything.

[Darth Bane]

time kills everything.... but the best and worst thing is, it even kills all your memories..... it doesn't distinguish between bad and good memories.... you will forget this all.... and so will everyone else!!!!

I like to think that I am a strong guy. a tough guy even. but that's all fake. a front. teh reality is that my emotions are fragile and run out of control easily. not much of a man i turned out to be. boo hoo for me over teh slightest debate.

whining on and on. I should just shut the **** up already! I am so sick of me... so sick of feeling this way.... of being out of control...

I can't control it either. It's not like I can flip the switch and change. I am stuck being this person that I hate. it's always been like this. and when I do change it, it's ****ing fake. this is who i am. this is why i never amounted to much. and prolly never will. just a whiney little ***** cuz i cant' control my emotinos and moods. **** this life.

[venusss]

I think... and I used to have the same problem is that we don't distinquish our opinions and so on from ourselves.

disagreeing with what person says is not attack on the person.

[Darth Bane]

Dan we all got pain....

I am not at all good at socializing........ how the hell do you make friends??? i dont know... and i am supposed to be intelligent ,i can guess what you are thinking by reading your body language... i can impress a guy/girl like for first 15 days... but for the next phase of friendship,i dont know how to proceed....perhaps i am too afraid to open up to anyone...

you are much better in this case... you got like tons of friends here.... and still you are complaining..... and that too about mood swings everyone here has them....we actually got short form for that -MS ..... its like living on north pole and complaining about ice ...

point taken.

[pegasus]

Hello landskaperdan,

You are a well loved member here. I'm not sure what happened but please remember to take care of you on the forums. Everyone is welcome here but people can have differing opinions, and that is ok. Don't forget you can use the 'ignore' tools here if someone continually triggers you, when you are in a better place you can take the 'ignore' feature off again. If you think a member is not posting in guidelines, is being nasty etc, then please report the post.

Remember these forums are for you to find the self-help that you want and when you need it.

I don't know what to say.

thanks for the encouragement, Pegasus. I really meant that I didn't know what to say. I am in a really dark place right now.