[Speed3]

Last night was the first meeting of the group H.E.A.R.,heroin epidemic action reform that I started In Jason's honor.

In true bipolar form. I went over the top. Handouts, refreshments, and I even had a reporter from the local paper there. This reporter had written a big article on heroin in the same issue Jason's obituary ran.

We did the first two points on my agenda, then it was a free for all. Very emotional but not on point. At one point when the discussion became negative. People saying things like there is nothing we can do I left the room.

Talk about brain overload. At the end it did come around again with ideas for the next meeting. But by that time I was over the top stressed out! I guess this why I am on disability, I can't handle this stuff anymore.

Then the reporter at the end says she wants to come to my house and interview me along with videotape, she says she wants to see Jason's room. My jaw dropped I said we have not gone back in his room.

What have I got myself into? This is how my life goes, I get all hyped up then I just want out.

I need to find a middle ground.

[Melmo]

((Hugs))
"What have I got myself into? This is how my life goes, I get all hyped up then I just want out."

I totally relate to this, I know how much it sucks.
Good luck, I hope things get better.

[venusss]

If you feel uncomfortable, just say no. You don't owe it to anybody...and having report in or out your house doesn't really make a difference.

[Darth Bane]

if that reporter can be trusted.... if she is sincere you could let your friends and family speak to her...

[faerie_moon_x]

I don't know, if it's too soon it's too soon. I dont' see why she needs to see his room, I mean.... that seems odd to me.

[BlueInanna]

I take on too much too And that doesn't help when I'm already overwhelmed, then I just feel more lame ughh, cuz there's no way to possibly complete everything. But it's good to see you. That's cool you'll have another meeting, hopefully the next one will be less stressful. I hope you told reporter lady No about going in his room?

[Clinte89]

Sorry you feel you've taken on to much. But think how many it can help. Hang in there it'll be worth it.

[Mollie May]

This is also how my life goes: "I get all hyped up and then I want out." I've actually just finished an "all hyped up" and am smack in the middle of an "I want out." So I feel for you. It sucks, especially because you are the cause of your own stress/anxiety. Although I know it's hard, I think what Venus said is important to remember: You don't owe anybody anything. If you're overwhelmed, say so . And don't do anything that makes you overly uncomfortable. You're in charge! Best of luck to you!

[~Christina]

Speed

Do what you can and what you can handle mentally. Anyone asking to come into your home and in Jason's room is just ridiculous at this point. If they want to have a story about this horrible drug it can be done without invading your home.

[Speed3]

Thanks for the advice,

Yes you are right there is no reason for her to come to my home and definitely not going to let her see Jason's room. I think I told her before that is where he died. She crossed a line asking that!

I think she should interview some of the other people in the group that have lost children to heroin. This isn't just about me. I think I will tell her to come to the next meeting and do the interview there and interview me and some of the other members. We really could use the press to get the word out about the group.

I think it is more than just bipolar, it is how I am. I have always had a hard time telling people that certain things make me uncomfortable and to just say no to things.