[kala83]

for a while now I have been curious if the idea that I might have manic depression.

if I did it would be a fairly minor case of it but every so often my emotional spectrums will go from one huge extreme to another. And when I get this way I can get just down right mean and violent even physically so.

It makes me completely hate myself, when it comes about it can cause major issues with my partners. And I am sure it has played into my romantic life and not doing so well with keeping lasting relationships.

I have spoken with my councilor about my supesions, and hopefully we can begin testing for things and maybe I can start looking into doing an anger management class also.

[Travelinglady]

Definitely sounds like something is going on. Is your counselor trained in mental disorders? You need to see a therapist with such training to get an accurate diagnosis. I am especially concerned about the physical violence. I'm not sure that's typical of bipolar disorder. I am not qualified to diagnose, but if you do have bipolar disoder, there might be some borderline personality issues there, too. (Fairly common combination). Just a guess, though. But you do need to seriously address what's going on since it's affecting your relationships negatively. Okay?

[kala83]

Originally Posted by PAYNE1

Definitely sounds like something is going on. Is your counselor trained in mental disorders? You need to see a therapist with such training to get an accurate diagnosis. I am especially concerned about the physical violence. I'm not sure that's typical of bipolar disorder. I am not qualified to diagnose, but if you do have bipolar disoder, there might be some borderline personality issues there, too. (Fairly common combination). Just a guess, though. But you do need to seriously address what's going on since it's affecting your relationships negatively. Okay?

I think the only reason it get pushed to being physical is because one of my boyfriends and I....well he kind of likes to horse around with me as so he puts it and he is younger then me at times this is fine but it gets to points. Where he does it so much that it gets on my nerves and I end up pushing him to get him off he thinks thus still me just horsing around and it just makes me even madder.
I hate myself soo much for being this way I do not want to be a violent person in the least. And the fact it comes out aroun one of my partners really bothers me. He is so sweet to me and it always makes me feel terrible to be that way.

Epically since on my side of things I am asexual toward him, we care for each other a great deal but sex between us is just not ever going to be something that will happen

[kala83]

I just got out of my therapy session today it does seem like bipolarism is an issue for me now as well as BPD

its a lot for me to deal with and I am having a hard time not feeling anxicous about it all. Even though full diagnosises have not been done all signs seem very much to point to all of this.

I am on a waiting list of people to go into a year long course to help me more with this.

So at least I am getting the help I need as well as I picked up some books on the subject today at the library.

[Clinte89]

Well it could be and its good your already seeing someone to can help you figure it out.