Saw Pdoc today- wanted to put me in hospital *trigger*

Yeah it usually is a short run. It was funny the cops tackled him and tied him down while I chatted with security guys they where nice.

I'm still sitting here. *whistles*....

Watching tv. Getting tired. Feeling like I don't need to be here. Just fooling around online. Guess I'm being babysat. I don't know when I'll get my meds.

Now they're making sure my insurance will pay. I just get this feeling they don't want me to stay at all. Its like I'm constantly interviewing to tell them how much I need to be here.

i remmeberd once i tried to escape. i got halfway to the door and two male techs tackled me to the ground. almost broke my two front teeth. motherfu_kers. then locked me in a seclusion room for 2 hours.

I'm starting to get grumpy. Must be because I'm tired. They asked me about last time I was inpatient. They seemed to think that I tried to jump off a bridge! How does wanting to climb off a balcony translate to that I don't know, but eh, same effect I guess. Whatever happens tonight, its going to be a late night. I should've brought my night time meds. They keep asking of there is something that set this off on Friday and I just can't think of anything. The normal things that get to me, sure, but nothing major or out of the ordinary and really nothing big at all. I really think its that my brain has just gone bad. The wiring is messed up. Plain and simple.

Don't run away so you'll hurt yourself. We'll do that for you!

I'm feeling really tired, now. No sleep on the horizon for me!

My friend is taking his computer so who knows when I'll be back to update you. Still sitting here in the ER. They gave me my meds and I'm getting really tired.

My insurance wouldn't pay! So I got sent home! One dr had the insight though that it sounds like a mixed episode I've been in. Eureka! Hence the overwhelming need for Ativan! I have an extra appointment with my T on Friday and my pdoc Monday. They tried to get me to remember what happened to upset me and I still don't know.

SOmetimes these things just happen for no reason. I know I often have the same problem not knowing what set it off. Best of luck moose. Bet well soon.

Stupid health insurance....

Do they really need a reason to what upset someone with bipolar? Sometimes it's so random. Once I chewed a guy's head off at McDonalds because he only put one soda in my order instead of 2.... then I was mad about it for like 2 days.... Was totally fine before that happened, too. So, sometimes that's the not the real issue. The real issue is the reaction and getting things back on track.

Ahhh the joys of heath insurance. I'm glad you have appointments set with T and Pdoc. Maybe you can find the reason , maybe not.. I hope your T and Pdoc take this serious and can provide the help you need.

Hugs Moose thinkin of you like you're surfing a big one right now. Hope today might be better, it's possible right?

Hope today is better, sorry they sent you home. Youd think they would take care of you first and worry about money later. But Im being foolish in thinking that lol

I just had lunch at ihop with my friend. I'm really tired. Gotta get milk. I think I'm this tired because I didn't use my cpap last night.

I dunno what to say about the insurance. They wanted a definitive that I was going to kill myself apparently. *shrug*

sorry to say thats how hospitals actually work. not only that but the better your insurance the more your guaranteed to get in. seen tons of people that happened to.

its a sad situation when you need help but....its just like that.

And that is a huge problem with the mental health system.

I hate money so much.

to be honest the mental health system is really screwed up in this country (USA) and in some states like the one i am in it makes it seem even worse. i think my state

my insurance always paid in full. which prob is why i ALWAYS got in plus maybe why i always stayed longer than the average stay. idk.

im not a follower of nami but they said my state graded mostly Fs and Ds.

the best states for mental health is supposedly mostly on the east coast.

I'm home to fend for myself. Oddly enough, they admitted me in November but someone asked me yesterday if I were going to jump off a bridge back then and I said no a balcony and they said same difference. Guess I need to make **** up now?

Listening to this. My favorite piece ever and new favorite recording. The top solo is by an adult man! Seriously! https://www.google.com/url?q=http://...esyChs6rKcKlZA

In general all healthcare in USA is of lower quality than elsewhere. It's the nature of making everything for profit instead of thinking of it as a necessary service for high quality of life.

Moose, ignore the ignorant comments of those people! people like that should not be allowed to work in healthcare.

The hospital was all for my staying I think. Just the insurance said no.

Yes, that is why health care is so low. Insurance wants the most profite possible. They want you to pay $15,000 a year premium, plus $4000+ a year in co-insurance or deductable, and then pay the smallest amount possible for care. So that doctor bill of $137 they will only pay $13 and you pay the rest.... while some CEO goes sits on his yatch and eats steak and lobster encrusted with gold.

We're dealing with life and death here and they're just sitting somewhere going "eh.... Nah. Not today"

To top it off my diagnosis when I was discharged was "generalized mood disorder"! Like everybody doesn't have that!