crisis

I know crisis equals opportunity but when your in the midst of it, you just want to explode...
I'm having a moment right now. I need it to go away ASAP. I started working and I have a presentation at 11am. But I just feel like crying my butt off.
I been feeling really bad since I got back to work, because my old supervisor made me look horrible. As if I was an incompetent employee that needs scrutiny and micromanagement. My new boss is having to see me twice a week etc.
I may not have done everything perfect but my old boss is clearly lying, I do have the evidence and my new supervisor is confident that we will face no issues. However, I can't help but feel humiliated. The claims my old boss made, even if some are false, have put me in a position where I feel useless etc.

To put the cherry on top, I'm constantly thinking about divorce. My husband is not bad, but I'm constantly having to direct him. He gets upset at me for correcting him. But some things can't be left like they are, he props the bottle for our newborn daughter and hold the phone more than her. He gets annoyed by the poor baby as if she had any fault. It pisses me off, but I do understand he has his own issues. I'm just tired of understanding his issues, lacking support on mine and.. if you remember still no sex. Since August but he still masturbates. It is driving me nuts.

Those two big issues and of course life in general, my crying newborn and my busy toddler. I want to be the best for them. I want to make my family proud. And while I do my job, that is a respectable job, I feel like crap because I'm not doing what I was meant to do. Which is create.

Now someone shoot me please.

Oh my God and I have to see so many people, everyone constantly come in, says hi, how are you and I have to pretend to be my chipper self. God. I just want to get a sign of out of business lol

Well, I've been there. My work knows I have bipolar so they really came after me. It was terrible. I am also flagged as a "problem employee" and I really hate it.

As for your husband and the baby, you need to take a step back. Daddies do not take care of babies the same way that mommies do. It is just the natural order of the world. Men deal with baby things in a much different way. I've had two husbands who are completely different from each other, but when it comes to babies they have a ton of similarities. It has really been an eye opener.

First off, daddies have a different way of being able to handle a crying baby for very long. My ex refused to hold our son when he was crying. He would say "it hurts my ears." He just couldn't do it at all. My husband now does better, and if the crying is from pain or sadness, then he does a good job to comfort the baby. If it's a temper tantrum, however, he just says "Knock it off!" and gets aggitated very fast.

Feeding and holding a baby is different for them, too. The way he holds the baby is totally different than how I do it. And proping the bottle, that is an iffy thing. If he's right there with the baby, it shouldn't be a divorcable offence. If he's leaving the baby somewhere alone then that's a problem. If anyone else is available to change a diaper, my husband will hand the baby off to them. (My ex was the same way.) So, it's just the differences with men and women.

Try to consider that when you are feeling frustrated. Sometimes you have to take a step back and a deep breath. If he's a good husband and a good father, just not that great with babies, then he seems to be a pretty normal guy to me.

I'm sorry work is being so crappy.

How would divorcing help your family or stress? As for your husband taking care of baby. Do you feel your husband would physically hurt your child either out of frustration or otherwise? Would he neglect the baby's needs for hours? If you do baby needs a sitter when you're not around. If not, dad has his own style. Your correcting him is probably more harmful for Daddy/baby relationship. Is he getting help for his issues? Have you thought of getting marriage therapy?

Have you found out why he masturbates instead of being with you?

Thanks, I feel divorce would let me go on with life, instead of worrying. The no sex triggers other problems, like trust, deepens my depression. I feel unwanted, undesired, it worsens my feelings of worthlessness. It destroys my self esteem. It just triggers too many thoughts, why does he masturbates to this and this, does he likes someone in his classroom that looks like that(he is not working, he went back to college).
He is not getting help, he is not taking his meds, neither am I, but I'm trying to get the help. He does not want any professional help.
We just talked about it, and for the first time he said we will have sex and that he would stop masturbating. Here is the thing, that will only trigger the stalker in me to go nuts on his every move.
It's too much! I also feel it will be weird because he got tired of me sexually, he is not attracted. It's just weird and I don't want it like that.
I don't really want a divorce but I don't want any of that either.

With the baby, sometimes he snaps at them for no reason but I don't think he would hurt them, other than emotionally. It's just that our newborn has lots of boogers and she can't breathe properly, we constantly suck them out but some feedings get done with her having trouble to breathe. When he props it, he is around but it stresses me out that she could choke, I mean we been right next to her and without us noticing our toddler puts her blanket over her face, making it more difficult for her to breathe. Luckily since we always have an eye on them we handled it well, but is so very tiring!

Wouldn't there be different worries? Is this his first child? If not did he do the same with your toddler?

The no sex triggers other problems, like trust, deepens my depression Are you dealing with these issues with a therapist. Have you asked him if you guys can see some one together to help your marriage. I think before you have sex find out what's been going on with him to ease your stress. Are you masturbating? It may help until things are resolved between the two.

Can you get a humidifier (or de-humidifier don't remember which) to help baby?

There always be worries I guess, but I hate feeling insecure. Is our second baby but with the first time, he was gone for Los a yr and a half because he was in Afghanistan. He has had this problem with his other relationships. Actually he got a lot of booty, and when he got in serious relationships he quickly lost interest in them sexually. So, I don't know if this is more a thing of eating rice and beans every day or what. I'm totally helping myself, I even tell him that I'm off to do it. He doesn't want to try counseling right now. I just have to suck it up and keep on moving on. Eventually if nothing changes, I'm out. I can't live without sex.. No way

If he wont fight for your family then maybe it's better for you to go but he'll get visitation every two weeks when he's in the area.