[Voltin]

I'm lucky enough to have my 34 yr. old daughter to live with my mom and my mom is able to care for herself. My daughter and I manage the finances and everything else, this has been the operation of things for years now, mom almost lost her home to the bank so I took everything over and the home is paid off and there is a little money in the bank (don't tell her). Mom was in a car wreck 4 wks ago and was banged up badly but is doing much better. I found myself to the breaking point with anxiety and stress due to all this , my BP stuff was going off the charts, but the immediate issues were of her health obviously , but there is so much more to a car wreck. The legal stuff is beyond my understanding so with suggestions from people, a lawyer was hired. I'm at the point where he has finally taken the control of most of the legal issues , but, in having this wreck...I don't think my mom will work again. With some wrong choices she quite her job to care for her mother and used all her retirement to support herself years ago. There is no way my daughter can support the both of them . If possible the house would be sold , then mom would live with me . I fear for my life , I could recuperate without her here , I'm pretty much a solitary. I PRAY she can go back to work , but I may be facing this scenario sooner or later . I'm actually back at the PsychCentral site because of the flare ups from this , which has been a big help to be here. I'm journaling , that has been an outlet helping me much more than I could have expected.
I'm sure others have or are dealing with aging parents and find it ...well...scarey . So how do you do it ???

[BlueInanna]

Hi, welcome/welcome back. I can very much relate. I'm trying to manage my bp/recovery, raise 3 children on my own and support my mom. Mom's in her 70's and she can no longer work, she's forgetful and on a lot of meds. She's staying with me right now. Sometimes I think I might scream and pull my hair out because, I don't have anybody to rely on / support me, and my business has had problems along with the economy for about 5 years. Also, my 2 older children have bp dx and many hospitalizations. It's unfair to me, not what I imagined a beautiful life would be, but it is what it is so I try not to be angry. "So how do you do it?" Because there's no other option, they are all counting on me. I'm working hard and praying things will turn around and may have some happy times to come.

[Voltin]

Originally Posted by BlueInanna

Hi, welcome/welcome back. I can very much relate. I'm trying to manage my bp/recovery, raise 3 children on my own and support my mom. Mom's in her 70's and she can no longer work, she's forgetful and on a lot of meds. She's staying with me right now. Sometimes I think I might scream and pull my hair out because, I don't have anybody to rely on / support me, and my business has had problems along with the economy for about 5 years. Also, my 2 older children have bp dx and many hospitalizations. It's unfair to me, not what I imagined a beautiful life would be, but it is what it is so I try not to be angry. "So how do you do it?" Because there's no other option, they are all counting on me. I'm working hard and praying things will turn around and may have some happy times to come.

I feel your pain , so to speak, and hope your strength continues while waiting for the light at the end of the tunnel. Being a pillar of strength , finally took me to a detachment of my own feelings in order to just get the job done. Absentee of me but body in motion. How one does what needs to be done was a precursor to my breakdown .
Not to be meant as a comparison , but only as a " gotcha" of understanding where you are .
I'm fearful of repeating the past breakdown , though my load is lighter as now I don't have the kids to "raise" , my grandparents are now deceased ( I don't have to care for them) , my brother is in a care facility and not at home , work ability is limited due to health issues ...my mom is all that rolled into one ( sorry mom) bag of the same stuff with no $ to support herself. Yeah not as bad as it was, but I'm not the person I used to be. I can't bare the load for a length of time , only in spurts.

My heart goes out to you for facing what is before you, Be good to your self goes a long way when you can work that in. Give yourself a supermom pat on the back often !!!

[cocoabeans]

I have siblings