[Victoria'smom]

Can't think
Can't write
Thought jumping
Can't talk
syllable talking
Irises huge
Aterax not helping
Caffeinated veins
Want to run
time slowed...

I think I'm ramping up again
Shouldn't have taken just my AD the other day
Husbands being condescending
son's scare
how do you know the difference between hypo-mania and mania?
or when your delusional?
I had a couple of weeks ?? of feeling good.
this sucks i want uphoria back?
See T in 9 days
Pdoc in 17 days
Atleast I'm not like last month... I don't want to go back there
how do I stop from going there?
Sorry I'm not much help lately....
I you guys

[DDIke]

Hello, Miguel'smom. Have you already told your T and Pdoc about this? You need relief now.

[Cocosurviving]

I hope you have an appts soon w/ ur pdoc and T. I can relate to a few things you list and I'll be talking to my pdoc abt the things. I'll keep you in my prayers.

[Nessa213]

Can you talk to your T or pdoc any sooner than what you listed? 9 days can be an eternity when you're in that state. I can relate to a lot of that, and I know how awful it can be. Hope you feel better soon.

[~Christina]

MM
I'm sorry.. Please do call T/pdoc tomorrow. Better to try and head off this mess instead of letting it happen.

Take care of you, Sending you love and hugs and soothing thoughts.

[bluemountains]

Hi MM,
Call your pdoc. Maybe he will call in a prescription for some relief since he knows you well. I don't know the difference between mania and hypo-mania. I wish I did because I think I would like to occasionally feel a good high instead of getting agitated too quickly and talking too fast.
I hope that things get better soon!
Bluemountains

[Trippin2.0]

Please call your team, let them help you ward off whatever is coming. You deserve relief MM, reach out

[Victoria'smom]

Have you already told your T and Pdoc about this?
Calmer for now. This is nothing but I'm getting more agitated. I do not want a repeat of last month.

T knows I've been like this more or less 9 weeks.
T keeps tabs on me thought the week, Through my writing or attempts at writing.
My husband's T and my T talk
T is treading carefully because of my tendency towards paranoia
T's been checking w. my husband
T only works MWF
T only calls when I okay it.

T does not want me to drink at all right now.

P doc kinda knows
ED puts him in a huge bind
He put me back on viibryd
He doesn't know it got worse then better, then this.
His front desk refuses to transfer to his office
He has no extension line
Only works W, TH

I'll be there tomorrow to pick up meds so I'll leave a note in his inbox.
So pdoc should call Wednesday.

Originally Posted by Miguel'smom

Have you already told your T and Pdoc about this?
Calmer for now. This is nothing but I'm getting more agitated. I do not want a repeat of last month.

T knows I've been like this more or less 9 weeks.
T keeps tabs on me thought the week, Through my writing or attempts at writing.
My husband's T and my T talk
T is treading carefully because of my tendency towards paranoia
T's been checking w. my husband
T only works MWF
T only calls when I okay it.

T does not want me to drink at all right now.

P doc kinda knows
ED puts him in a huge bind
He put me back on viibryd
He doesn't know it got worse then better, then this.
His front desk refuses to transfer to his office
He has no extension line
Only works W, TH

I'll be there tomorrow to pick up meds so I'll leave a note in his inbox.
So pdoc should call Wednesday.

Yeah I would not drink. For me that only makes things worse. Pls take care of u. Bc if we don't take care of ourselves we are of no use to anybody else.

[BlueInanna]

I can't speak / write much right now. Please know I'm thinking of you and sending love

[~Christina]

How are you feeling ???

[Victoria'smom]

I'm tired. Everything is still going really slow. So I'm irritated. As long as I don't get aggressive it's okay. I've been able to follow conversations enough to respond. However my husband asked me to calm down or wait in the car at my son's appointment because "You look like a drug addict". Miguel's T said he's getting depressed again. We picked up 'child friendly' food. So my son can cook through his growth spurt and the impending crash whenever that happens. My husband's exhausted.

[vokoya]

Hang in there if you can't tell real from delusion then you need to make sure people know. Reality is replaced by delusion real quick when you're on the edge. So make sure you have the safety net in place. Don't know what else to say except I've been there and it's scary as hell. You are in my prayers.

[~Christina]

I am sending good thoughts and love your way.... You all need to just catch a break, Just keep doing what you can. I feel like things are going smooth out for you really soon

[Victoria'smom]

See T next Wednesday. I'm getting paranoid again. I hate seeing T on days Pdoc is in the building. She can send him a message while I'm there and then he'll see me and it be this big huge thing. I've seen it happened to my husband and he wasn't even having a mood swing it was a misunderstanding. I'd like to avoid all that. I so do not want to crash or new meds, or AP's or any of that. I'm okay like this. I can read (short things) again for the most part, typing not so much. They should leave me like this until things get worse. I'm not manic, maybe hypo-manic, so I'm currently not a threat to myself or others. I'd rather wait until it turns to mixed, dys-phoric, or depressed. Is that to much to ask? And I hate the feeling of bugs stupid bugs! I know I'd have to tirad up but I'm so against that right now.

I can't talk this is my only outlet because my son gets scared when I talk to fast.

I know it's "for the best" for my family and me but I so want to be selfish at least until it gets scary again to me. I don't want to crash. Crashing is worse on meds. than off because I'm still able to interact. Stupid meds. stupid bi-polar, okay now I'm just talking to myself back on track.....

Thank-you guys. I'm counting down the days until this is ripped from me either chemically or medically.

Originally Posted by Miguel'smom

See T next Wednesday. I'm getting paranoid again. I hate seeing T on days Pdoc is in the building. She can send him a message while I'm there and then he'll see me and it be this big huge thing. I've seen it happened to my husband and he wasn't even having a mood swing it was a misunderstanding. I'd like to avoid all that. I so do not want to crash or new meds, or AP's or any of that. I'm okay like this. I can read (short things) again for the most part, typing not so much. They should leave me like this until things get worse. I'm not manic, maybe hypo-manic, so I'm currently not a threat to myself or others. I'd rather wait until it turns to mixed, dys-phoric, or depressed. Is that to much to ask? And I hate the feeling of bugs stupid bugs! I know I'd have to tirad up but I'm so against that right now.

I can't talk this is my only outlet because my son gets scared when I talk to fast.

I know it's "for the best" for my family and me but I so want to be selfish at least until it gets scary again to me. I don't want to crash. Crashing is worse on meds. than off because I'm still able to interact. Stupid meds. stupid bi-polar, okay now I'm just talking to myself back on track.....

Thank-you guys. I'm counting down the days until this is ripped from me either chemically or medically.

I know the feeling. STUPID bipolar is right! What is so funny is when I first out of the hospital 2 yrs ago, (not this last time). I was going to a bipolar grp. Well all these kids acted like I'm so cool I have bipolar while I'm hanging my head in shame. My T at the time said we can always tell the true bipolar ppl from the ones w/o it. Those with it wish they didn't have it (until they come to terms w/it). The ppl in their early 20's thought it was cool and exciting. That always makes me laugh when I think of that group.