AP PRN, untrusted husband, & T's a month to figure out things

So this all starts with my 'small' vacation from reality I had a while ago. My T, H's T, and Marriage T all agree I should have an AP at least PRN. I trust their opinion enough that I'm researching what AP's my insurance covers.

When talking about the AP's PRN we got to the fact that our T's think my husband is to close to tell when I need help. He said he doesn't want me on a PRN med and he can hardly get me to drink water at that point let alone a med that I associate with weight gain. He's supposed to call T or pdoc way before that. Then I stop did a mental check list of how many rules of my crisis plan I violated. So I had to ask why he didn't call. He refuses to call unless I seriously physically harm him in his sleep. He's not going to get locked up or do anything that I'll view as against me. So now I have the situation that my crisis plan is null and void because I can't trust my husband to advocate for me when I can't. EVEN when he thinks I should be hospitalized.

Now I'm questioning whether I should even ask for an AP. If I'm not going to know I need the AP and he wont even attempt to suggest it why have the medication in the house? To me this whole thing means that I can't trust him when I really need him. I don't see pdoc until next month so I have time to decide about the AP. So knowing what I know now WTH am I supposed to do? We both know that my 'vacations' will happen but how do I get help when I don't realize I need it? or even take an AP prn if I can't recognize it? Why doesn't he understand calling for me most likely means a med adjustment not hospitalization?

Have you really emphasized your last point with your husband? That it would most likely just mean a med adjustment?

Maybe you can get your husband and T to talk--or bring husband into a session.

Sorry, but it's late at night and my brain is slow. Remind me of what "AP" stands for, please.

MM , I am so sorry that all this is happening and you have been thru hell the last few months. I honestly think an AP would help right not.. just to get you back feeling better and more in control. It's a shame your H can't really understand what you need.

Hang in there , come here vent , PM me ,, Do what ever you need to do to stay safe and ok

AP= anti-psychotic. My husband always goes with me to T at least for 15 min. especially the last 3 months.

Right now, I'm good. I'm in the calm before the crash or hypo-manic (depending on who you ask). It's lasted almost 2 wks. which is really long for me. I keep reminding myself to get my crap together because I'll eventually crash. I keep worrying that I'll let my guard down and be disappointed when I crash. I wouldn't even be able to come close to having a serious conversation about an AP if I was still all grrr.

It's hard to wrap my mind around him out right refusing to advocate for me. I understand I was very confrontational this last time but I just don't get it. He knows what it's like. He expects me to keep him and us safe when he can't. Why now does he feel my wrath would be far worse then our safety?