[capricorn1975]

I feel it has ruined mine....I probably would have had a satisfying life without the bi-polar... everyone on my dad's side has it... i don't see much hope for the future.. is anyone else here in my situation?

It's hard for me to imagine a life without some kind of mental illness. My first dx was at age 12. Has it ruined my life? It's hard to say. I've had great jobs, boyfriends and now a husband. I've travelled. To see me, you would never know there is something there -
but I've also been sui, hospitalized, lost jobs, gained weight....who knows how much more successful I'd have been without it.

[Lostime]

This isn't a question I like to ask myself!

The answer would probably be yes in all facets of my life, but I don't look at it in that way "it is the cards I was dealt and I have to make do with them" it do not help I cry about the "What if's in life".

It is hard to stay positive sometimes!

[butcheredxbutterfly]

yes, in the extent that it has taken so much from me. Robbed me of friends, jobs and my pride.

No, because in learning about my illness I have got to know myself on such a deep level, particularly through therapy.

It's also made me appreciate my loved ones who have supported me all the way through

[DivorcedWoman]

If you asked me that question for 4 years ago after I lost almost everything, marriage and custody of my child and family and friends I would say yes. It's been a battle to rebuild my life and somedays I get angry that I have the illness and had such an awful manic episode and did truly horrible things. If I let myself wallow in it and go to that bad spot then I can feel that way, but I can say that I've worked really hard to rebuild my life with my counselor, pdoc, etc. and I'm finally on the right meds. My counselor has helped teach me that bipolar does not define me and she tells me in our sessions when I overidentify with it or label myself. It truly is just one facet of who we are as people. I know for the longest time I had the lowest of low self-esteem and felt like a total piece of crap, but I now know that my episode was just a part of my life and again does not define who I am. Yes, I did those things but I did not do them intentionally and I am a good person and have done many good things in my life. I've worked hard not only for myself but for my 6 1/2 year old son. Who knows what will happen with my illness but I am doing everything possible to keep myself healthy and from keeping myself from getting too high or too low. I also have a strong genetic predisposition to it. My father was diagnosed at 25, my aunt (his sister) at 48 and her two daughters in their 20s. I was diagnosed at 38 officially but feel that I was most likely misdiagnosed with depression only for many years. I worry that my son will get it because of our genetics and wonder what my ex-husband will do if he gets it. My ex abandoned me so will he do the same with my son? Only time will tell. I understand if that's how you feel as I've been there. So I wish you the best with whatever challeneges you may be facing and want to assure you that things can get better.

[Confusedinomicon]

I think I would do better in everything.
But to say it ruined my life would be admitting defeat.
Bipolar hasn't defeated me. Just given me extra challenges.

[onlymedid]

I wouldn't say it has ruined my whole life, just certain aspects of it.

[Miss Laura]

Hey Capricorn,

I think its made my life more complicated rather than saying it has ruined my life. It's kinda like a big huge gigantic rollercoaster and your on the edge of your seat with no seat-belt. I guess in a sense it has made it more interesting too as before I would of been ignorant to BP and all things associated with it.... now I am aware and am all for bring the stigmatisation of it to bay.

Hope your doing ok!!

[madisgram]

hey cap, lots of honest opinions. here's mine-at one point in my life i had no hope but i pushed myself to get help, do the painful- sometimes- therapy and i wanted more out of life than i'd had. i wasn't sure if all the help i got and learned would enrich my life but it was a gamble i felt i had to take. like some i don't allow my BP to define who i am. actually since i got positive help/therapy/pdoc i've gotten healthier in the head than most "norms" cause i found i had lots of things/behaviors/old tapes i wanted to learn how to change. so if i hadn't a MI i don't think i would have sought the help i needed in many areas of my life.
i know you have unusual circumstances and need more irl people in your life but you did come here! that's a positive thing you did for yourself, imho. i know you're lonely. i feel if you were comfortable talking with others here at pc in a thread that you might receive some understanding, supportive replies. i encourage you to do that for yourself, friend. like in another forum..coping with emotions, etc. no one isolated from ppl would be all happy cause we all need ppl in our lives. you've got a double whammy because it's so remote where u are.
i hope this helps. you know already i've got my "thinking cap" on for you but if you share you'll get others thinking too. you are worth it, cap, and a trusted great friend to me!

[kykid]

Originally Posted by capricorn1975

I feel it has ruined mine....I probably would have had a satisfying life without the bi-polar... everyone on my dad's side has it... i don't see much hope for the future.. is anyone else here in my situation?

Capricorn1975:

Bipolar is a part of my life, but it is not my life.

Having suffered with it since 2000, I guess you could say that I've made peace with the fact that I have this illness. I can choose to wallow in it or I can choose to learn all that I can, investigate methods for coping with the illness, work with my therapist and doctor to control the symptoms, and live life to the fullest. I choose to do the latter.

I want to encourage you to work with your doctor to find the right chemical cocktail for you and if possible, begin seeing a therapist who can give you methods for combating the illness in other ways. Whatever you do, don't let your diagnosis become your life. You have too much to give and too much to accomplish to allow this to happen. With hard work and persistence, you can begin to manage the illness instead of having it manage you.

Also, I don't know how spiritual you are, but for me this has been one of my main weapons in fighting my illness. I am Catholic, so I attend mass daily and partake of the other sacraments as often as I am able. This helps keep me grounded and gives me a larger perspective with which to view my illness.

I would encourage you to explore your spiritual side as well. I am sure that this will help you as much as your medication and therapy.

Good luck in the future. I am sure that you can emerge from your illness a better person, as have I.

[Warrioress]

In a way it does, but it opens new doors imo

[Amazonmom]

without bipolar i would have been able to do more in life, but i don't know if ruined is how i would put it.

hugs

[fallfromgrace]

The way I see it, everyone has their issues to deal with, and bipolar is mine. I wouldn't say it's ruined my life - I think it's made me appreciate what I do have, and recognize how fragile life is. But that's just me I'm sorry you feel that it has ruined yours....

[tatortott32]

Originally Posted by capricorn1975

I feel it has ruined mine....I probably would have had a satisfying life without the bi-polar... everyone on my dad's side has it... i don't see much hope for the future.. is anyone else here in my situation?

i must agree with you ! im also bi polar and to make matters worse im also a recovering addict...& my husband thinks that the that the solution to all problems is to call child.protective services & have my heart & soul ripped right out from my body

[BlackPup]

I would have been more "successful" without BP, but I like the person I am now because of BP better than the person I was before I suffered....
Sorry that you feel like that, I did too for a while, but then I learnt to value different things that what the world usually values... good luck in your journey

[dwdmguy]

Hi.
I'm going to speak honestly with my response.

I feel strongly that it ruined my life. I've made such bad choices in my life while manic never considering the outcome. I don't understand the good folk that state they wouldn't trade their Bipolar Disorder if it meant giving up their Manic stages.

To me, it's been devastating. I did not receive a dx until last year at age 52 and it all became very clear to me. Today I'm under the care of a tdoc, pdoc and just began a local weekly Bipolar and Depression self support group that I which was every day.

Today I'm 53, bankrupt and about to be foreclosed on and each one of these I can directly tie to Bipolar. Each day I'm taking care of my responsibilities the best I can but just to answer your question honestly, Yes, it ruined my life and devastated me whilst I didn't even know what was going on until recently.
Take care and good luck.

[emgreen]

Originally Posted by dwdmguy

I've made such bad choices in my life while manic never considering the outcome.

Ditto. I'm not sure it ruined my life but I've lost much because of my BP...Mania is fun until you hit that wall & realize what you've done to jeopardize relationships & other matters in your life. That said, it's just something I have to deal with. There are many people in this world who have far more debilitating physical, mental & other problems to deal with. I try to keep this in mind.

[~Christina]

Bipolar hasn't "ruined my life" Life is life, everyone has struggles.

[vjdragonfly]

I don't feel it has ruined my life as to say. Yes, if I wasn't bi-polar things would have been probably very different. The thing is, I have a wonderful husband and 2 beautiful children and had I been different I might not have them. The thing is if you dwell on it, life has a lot of what if's. I try not to focus on it. I am who I am and I think I am stronger for it. Everything seems to eventually flow together or maybe it is just how I was raised and my outlook on life.

I hope you find some peace soon.

No, I don't think so. It has led me to a much more spiritual life, frankly, and I think that's been the best thing that ever happened to me. Prayer does for me what psychotherapy does for others.

Watching the diet and making sure to get the right foods help tremendously in my case.

[venusss]

Nah. I try not to blame my failures and screw ups on bipolar-ex-machina and think that'd I'd be perfect without it (that is called grandiosity, folks).

yeah, life is challenging, but as somebody who believes in reincarnation... i prefer this challenge at this level than being born to Syria or Gaza strip.

[Trippin2.0]

No, it hasn't. Sure its not without its challenges and "interesting" moments, but every "stupid", thing I did that was bipolar related has been a character building learning curve. I've learned more about myself, more about my behaviour, and ways to prevent or tone down certain behaviours than ever would have been possible had I been "normal".

I'm very careful to not repeat negative experiences on purpose, I'm really not the flog a dead horse type a gal So its safe to say I will not allow bp to ruin my damn life. But that's the control freak me speaking, she's such a beyotch, dontcha just lurv herrr

On the other hand, this borderline bullshyt is doing a pretty good job of ruining my present life... I'd choose bp destruction over borderline anyday, atleast learning is good for something where bp is concerned, plus I have a better defense than "I can't control my emotions"... meh.

Excuse me while I go clean up the emotional mess I made for myself

[Confusedinomicon]

It's slowed me down, but I'm going to catch up! AKA Takes longer for me to do some things, but I'm not too worried so long as I'm enjoying myself on the way.

I don't see it as ruining my life.

Originally Posted by dwdmguy

Hi.
I'm going to speak honestly with my response.

I feel strongly that it ruined my life. I've made such bad choices in my life while manic never considering the outcome. I don't understand the good folk that state they wouldn't trade their Bipolar Disorder if it meant giving up their Manic stages.

To me, it's been devastating. I did not receive a dx until last year at age 52 and it all became very clear to me. Today I'm under the care of a tdoc, pdoc and just began a local weekly Bipolar and Depression self support group that I which was every day.

Today I'm 53, bankrupt and about to be foreclosed on and each one of these I can directly tie to Bipolar. Each day I'm taking care of my responsibilities the best I can but just to answer your question honestly, Yes, it ruined my life and devastated me whilst I didn't even know what was going on until recently.
Take care and good luck.

I know that many of us here can relate to your issues. I was not diagnosed until I was 51 and much damage was done. I try really hard not to focus on what could have been and look ahead. The important thing is that you have been dx and you are getting help. It will get better.

[Dorothydee]

My brother is an attorney and in a manic episode right now and it's definitely ruining his life and career.
My mother and I don't know what to do. He's lives two hours from us alone in an apt., he recently leased while he was hypomanic. He's going to be evicted soon from for not paying the rent.
Does anyone have any suggestions as to what we can do to help him from further self-destruction?