[bluewave7]

Hey everyone. I'm home from the hospital. My husband almost admitted himself when he came to pick me up, he's been so depressed bc he's in chronic pain from a neck injury and is on no pain meds. But the intake lady said his pain was causing the depression and they really couldn't help him.

We are moving across the country for a new start with supportive family members in 2 months.

We went to grocery store and an NA meeting.

I am so anxious. It's so awful being home and wonderful at the same time. Same as the hospital. Love hate relationship there.

But I worked real hard on myself and got my meds straight, and learned new coping skills. I made some new aquantences that I already miss.

I relapsed on my benzos bc of the stress of the day and all the chaos and my husband was crying and freaking out. I pray things work out. We both have much hope for a new beginning.

I picked up a white NAKey chain tonight. So tomorrow will be my first day clean.

I feel like God has left me. I feel afraid. I am fragile. I hope I can sleep. I so don't want to go back to the psyche ward. It's prizon but healthy all at once.

Feeling very neurotic. Please love me.

welcome back from the hospital.

we're all still here- ready to support you when you need us

[sugahorse1]

Hugs to you.
Go easy on yourself. The first few days out of hospital are also difficult to adjust to. I hope you can surround yourself with supportive and positive people

[Charly1]

God has not left you. He is right there with you and He loves you. I pray for you to feel God's love and the comfort of His arms around you. I pray that He reveals Himself to you. God bless you!

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. Matthew 11:28-29

[notALICE]

BlueWave - good job on both counts. Checking in & your NA keychain. It's hard & brave to admit when we need help. I'm sober 5 years (AA) and also have bipolar disorder. I'm not a huggy, lovey, dovey person but definitely sending loving, supportive thoughts your way.

Word of advice from my own experience - remember wherever you go to make a fresh start that you always take you with you. Scope out NA & support so you have a good plan in place to help you when you get there.

Hit me up anytime you need to vent/support. I love to blab about myself, but always willing to listen.

[faerie_moon_x]

Welcome back! I'm proud of you for doing all you're doing to get better. Keep it up! I'm glad you're going to move to a place closer to supportive family. That will be a huge help.

Hello, Blue, and welcome back. You've made real progress and please keep in touch
with God. As another has said, He has never left you and is right there to guide you
if you just listen to His word.

Here's hoping your husband will see a pain specialist about the pain in the neck. I just feel sure that there is something that can be done to help that. Give him encouragement to do that and take good care of yourself.

Be gentle with your life from now on and keep in touch as you wish wherever you are.

[bluewave7]

Shattered...thanks for your support and encouragement!

Suga...I didn't know the first few days home from the hospital were challenging. Good to know that. I don't feel so bad about myself now. Thank you!

Charly...I'm glad God is with me but I need to change my conception of God. Then we will
be closer. I also know from experience that even the most spiritual people sometimes
lose that connections or a period of time or feel that they do...but you are right on...God is always with all of us. Thanks!

Notalice...fantastic on 5 years sober! Wow! We are moving to Arizona and have lived there before and they have tons of A.A. And NA and we've been to meetings there before. We lived there for a few months and loved it but got a job in Nevada first and had to move. But I know whatcha mean....wherever I go...there I am. Appreciate your post!

Dark...thanks for being proud of me for going. It was really scary but I learned so much. This facility concentrated extensively with one on one individual therapy and med adjustments. I was a guinea pig but it was a safe place to be that and I am grateful for the experience. I also agree that a supportive family is necessary to my recovery as the family I have here now....though I love them....are completely toxic! Appreciate your post!

Genetic...yes my husband is diligently working on getting pain relief. I have made progress and took lots of notes. Thanks for posting!

[notALICE]

BlueWave - even more awesome that you not only have a plan but have supportive family, familiar meetings, environment & sounds like the best move for you & yours.

My family where we live now is so incredibly toxic we will be making a fresh start too soon. Not so far, but across the bay, where they can butt out of our business & stop trying to control everything. I've been to a bunch of meetings there also. (Sometimes I even follow my own advice. :-p )

I didn't know how you felt about God or spirituality, but I agree with everyone too on that. He is with you in all of this. Some of my darkest experiences have turned out to the beginning of blessings I could never imagine. My higher power is somewhat fuzzy too. I describe myself as more spiritual than anything else. If you're seeking, all paths can lead you to the right place. (God/Higher Power/Your very own concept).

Even though you have fear (normal) sounds like you are headed down the right path.

[Pierro]

Hello Blue, I't quite normal to feel overwhelmed when you have just got out of hospital. Give yourself credit, you are doing well, all things considered. You have a lot on your plate at the moment, I know how difficult but try to put into practice those new found coping skills, they will come in handy. Best wishes.

[Cocosurviving]

Welcome back, welcome back,

I'm glad ur stay was healing and u learned new coping skills. It's great
ur start to get clean again right away.

Take care and know we're here for you

[middlepath]

Nothin' but love for ya Bluewave. ---good energy incoming---