[sugahorse1]

3.5 months of no Benzos and on Thurs I break down. The depression and anxiety was crippling. I don't remember most of Thursday evening and Friday.
I can't even stand up against myself, how will I stand up for myself? I am useless and so disappointed.
I don't know what to think of myself anymore. I'm mostly keeping this to myself because I don't know who I can IRL.
I am so demotivated.
I don't know if I'll ever be better.
I don't know if I should tell my T or wait til our session? I feel ok today.

[notALICE]

I'd say tell your T, see if you can get in to be seen earlier. I did that with my Pdoc lately & it helped me.

[faerie_moon_x]

Tell your T for sure, but you're not a failure. You only fail when you give up completely. Just because you have a set-back doesn't mean you failed.

[BlueInanna]

Can we rationalize this a bit? Are you saying you took benzos after quitting them? And a little wine too maybe?

If so... you're prescribed this med, it's not like you're committing some crime and getting it off the streets (I hope). There's a good reason you're prescribed it. Good for you feeling stable enough for 3 months to not take it.

I relapsed with smoking cigarettes - I'm terribly embarrassed. But you wouldn't let me think I'm an entire failure just for that right? Look at all the times I successfully quit, and I will quit again, just maybe not today.

You're not a failure. You're a smart lady and possibly a perfectionist (not always a bad thing unless it turns inward and we beat ourself up).

You're human, we mess up. Take a rest, you sound exhausted and needing rest. It will pass. Talk to T as you need. If you're feeling a little better today, that's a very good thing. Hang in there

I agree with everyone in every way. You're no failure and never will be. These are
learning experiences and they will eventually make you see that all humans make mistakes and often, the most successful of people are those who have been there, done that, and learned their lesson and have gone on to become very effective, loving, and caring, thoughtful people.

Use this experience as a step forward, please.

[intergalactictraveler]

Originally Posted by sugahorse1

3.5 months of no Benzos and on Thurs I break down. The depression and anxiety was crippling. I don't remember most of Thursday evening and Friday.
I can't even stand up against myself, how will I stand up for myself? I am useless and so disappointed.
I don't know what to think of myself anymore. I'm mostly keeping this to myself because I don't know who I can IRL.
I am so demotivated.
I don't know if I'll ever be better.
I don't know if I should tell my T or wait til our session? I feel ok today.

As Teddy Roosevelt said, "You do the best you can, with what you've got, where you are." We're all in the same boat. One step forward, two steps back. We wouldn't be as hard on someone else as we are on ourselves. Look at Carrie Fisher. Best medical care, off drugs and alcohol, goes into a major manic episode and has to be hospitalized. She's just like us and we're just like her. Watch a funny movie, listen to whatever type of music relaxes you and CHILL. You'll be fine. You'll get through this.

[sugahorse1]

I was hospitalized in December to withdraw from Benzos. My pdoc won't give me any more. I have these from my GP. Not clever, I know.
I have been likened to a perfectionist, but it is only in certain areas of my life. I do think I am tired, but I feel I have been taking enough rest and sleep. I need to get myself sorted. At least I told my bf yesterday that I had been feeling depressed.