[dubblemonkey]

I stare at things a lot... I also stare at a lot of things.

these things I stare at are many and few of them are aware of me staring at them and there is no uniformity to the types of things or even approximately when or where I will be staring at them ...

but I stare nonetheless.

these stared at things form mis-shapen identities from mis-placed realities inside my mis-shapen mind and from my mis-placed kind.

I definitely don't belong here amongst, beside and within and yet I am so alone without! ...marooned in this strange land where the names of things really don't match up with the things them names be naming no more

the things I can't name no longer look like themselves they look like the new unreal not the old unreal like a stack of pancakes with caramel and icecream! ...not that kind of unreal!

the new kind where I might just de-comparticle-ise into billions of random molecules and un-molecules and squillions of bits of not bits.

to a nowhere everywhere where my matter just don't ...well ..matter

and this will all take place without the slightest sound

Hey dubble! I don't know whether to thank or hug on that. Does seeing this way bother you? If so, hug. Or perhaps thanks are in order. I stare to see things completely different from their usual perception. Kind of like out of control universalized cloud watching. (Fun fact. Did you know that cloud watching is called Nephelococcygia? Sounds like a serious condition, doesn't it? Perhaps worthy of calling in to work with. ) Like... the shadows of trees moving in the wind might be cartoon dinosaurs. "Popcorn" ceilings are endless in imagery. Even the same section. Sometimes they will escape detection when sought again. Trees have faces, and sometimes they are elk. In certain light, black and white pictures look 3-D to me. Like that? Is so, thanks, because it can be hard to explain. (Won't even *try* to explain the mini moving 3-D sepia movies that fade to pinpoints when my eyes are closed. Or mind movies in general of designs morphing as fast as they can be perceived. The world stops when they happen, because there ARE no reruns.)
Sometimes staring is not required. Those can freak me out a bit sometimes. Especially when they are way off of what they actually are. Especially if I'm driving(!)

[dubblemonkey]

...hell of a response Innerzone, somehow magical in every respect couldn't quite expect a better interpretation and how marvellous.!

and clouds!... the clouds are my most favourite thing on this world. I could go on and on about clouds. that's one "thing" that the name seems to fit for me although...hmmm, take the c away and you got "louds"... and yet they are sooo quiet, except when there are storms.... and that condition the nephelo-whatchamacallit? ...I have that
love the way you described everything right then and there.
a hug and a thanks be the only suitable thing

I'm pleased I inspired you to share what you did how you did in particular.

actually...I googled the nephelococcygia and it says something about "cloud cuckoo land". that's very appropriate for me. thanks for the word.

Awww, thanks!
And haha, no problem! Cloud cuckoo land, yup. If someone says you are speaking Greek, you can say, "why, yes, yes I am!"
I love visual morphing, and feel kind of sad for people who can't let go of neatly and discretely compartmentalized "reality" enough to do it.

(To anyone confused, discretely and discreetly are not the same. Completely separate words, lol.)

[WrongEverything]

If its not detracting too much from your discussion, might I say that your writing is lovely and I really enjoyed reading it. In fact I'm gonna save it in a document for rainy afternoons. I would definitely urge you to keep expressing yourself through writing or even trying to write a book.

That being said

It sounds like your world is falling apart. Literally changing in front of you. Nothing is what it is or was or what you thought it to be or even how you percieve it to be.

Don't get me started on mankind.

All I can say is: don't think too much about it. Let it be. It is. Just accept it lol. Real or unreal cannot (has not, yet) been proven. You're thinking so hard about it that it's unraveling before you I believe.

Don't think (too much), just live and keep moving forward!

[dubblemonkey]

you are very kind WrongEverything and cant believe you are going to save that, thankyou that's amazing!

...I also like how you have interpreted what I confess is confusing stuff for me and you have also packaged it gently and comfortably ...and this only makes me wonder at your choice of name?...

and that it's perhaps more of a statement or a question?...than a title defining you because you seem to be far from wrong today...

[BlueInanna]

Staring at electric sheep - IZ taught me about it - is cool computer thing. Or I stare out the window laying in my bed, can do that for days and days, watching the seasons change.

[dubblemonkey]

was nothing like I expected C...

I looked it up and there were no sheep ba ba's but some very cool pictures...



there are heaps of them...

hey what do you call a sheep with no legs?

...a small cloud!

baaaa..not my best!

hope you are doin' ok C..

[WrongEverything]

Yes I wonder about my name as well. I guess I was very depressed at the moment when I created this account.

I consider changing it, but I think it should reflect me, not just the depressed part. Because as a person I'm f**ckin epic.

And I'm glad what I said was delivered well, I hate giving advice, claiming to know how others are thinking or percieving, but I've kind of went through what you're going through.

I wish you luck and that you strive to be the most epic person you can

[notALICE]

You can request to change your nickname one time, and one time only

I did it you go through a mediator, DocJon or other names I can't remember

If its your real name - courts for that...

I've been staying in bed 80% of the time. 20% for cigarette breaks. Boo hoo, but there's no place I'd rather be right now. In bed with a book.

[BlueInanna]

Originally Posted by dubblemonkey

was nothing like I expected C...

I looked it up and there were no sheep ba ba's but some very cool pictures...



there are heaps of them...

hey what do you call a sheep with no legs?

...a small cloud!

baaaa..not my best!

hope you are doin' ok C..

Ooh nice one you picked!! I like that one!! So I have electric sheep as my screen saver and I can also open the program and vote with up and down arrows if I like them or not, then apparently in some group effort they breed need sheep.

I'm ok James, thank you for asking. Just a little exhausted. Don't want to get outa bed today.

Hi James!
Yes, there are a lot of still pics. I have collected a huge (almost 400) number of them and set them for my screensaver. Did you find the moving ones? There are quite a few of them on youtube. One of my favorites (which is 2 hours long(!)) is:

It's one of my go-to activities when I really need to get out of my own head. Especially effective if you try to figure out what is going on in any given area of the screen (for instance, is it advancing or receding there). It requires so much focus (and changes sometimes faster than you can figure it out), that there isn't room for any other thought. 2 hours of that and my head's pretty well cleared out, lol. Can work even if not feeling able to focus simply because it is mesmerizing, even if one isn't trying to analyze it.

Check it out. I highly suspect it'll be right up your alley.

[dubblemonkey]

Originally Posted by BlueInanna

Ooh nice one you picked!! I like that one!! So I have electric sheep as my screen saver and I can also open the program and vote with up and down arrows if I like them or not, then apparently in some group effort they breed need sheep.

I'm ok James, thank you for asking. Just a little exhausted. Don't want to get outa bed today.

some group effort huh?... and 'apparently'... hehe
I'm well amused and easily at that!
and I can tell that now its all about sheep...and maybe just trying to blend in a little bit?


...and it seems you got a case of the bed glue syndrome...you might be stuck in bed a while yet!...but Im glad you are doin' ok C

Originally Posted by Innerzone

Hi James!
Yes, there are a lot of still pics. I have collected a huge (almost 400) number of them and set them for my screensaver. Did you find the moving ones? There are quite a few of them on youtube. One of my favorites (which is 2 hours long(!))
It's one of my go-to activities when I really need to get out of my own head. Especially effective if you try to figure out what is going on in any given area of the screen (for instance, is it advancing or receding there). It requires so much focus (and changes sometimes faster than you can figure it out), that there isn't room for any other thought. 2 hours of that and my head's pretty well cleared out, lol. Can work even if not feeling able to focus simply because it is mesmerizing, even if one isn't trying to analyze it.

Check it out. I highly suspect it'll be right up your alley.

hey IZ thanks for that link I will follow it up!

I was wondering what that mysterious shape was...? that figure moving over there in my alley...it was you, we must be up the same alley!.. hehe

so it's not just mine anymore... maybe there are many more of us up this very same alley...