Untitled...from the heart

My heart keeps breaking and I am scared to death
I never thought that I could lose myself
Everything is so exposed and sick
Every moment spent wondering what makes me tick
For so long I thought the darkness was gone
Things were so great, I had healed and moved on
To much disappointment I was incredibly wrong
And now I don’t know if I’ll ever belong
My stomach just burns as my breath gives way to all the tears from what I cannot change, from all the words that I cannot say, from this place of torment, confusion and pain
I don’t recognize myself and I am slowly caving in
Nothing seems to matter and I just want it all to end
I’ve never felt this alone or scared knowing now the things I must face
There’s nothing anyone can say or do, I am so displaced
I cry every single day and my daughters ask what’s wrong
I don’t even know what to say as I try to just move on
I’m trapped in an ill equipped body with a broken brain
With children these aren’t exactly things that I can just explain
I used to always hope and pray and I believed so much in love
But my soul has just been robbed and bruised and I don’t know what I’m made of
I wish there was a simple answer or just any way out of this
I hate the person I’ve become with everything such amiss
I wake up every morning telling myself today I can change
But within moments upon waking that hope just fades away
I cannot control this sadness and my face burns from the tears
I never thought I’d cry this way again after all these years
Now I learn it’s just begun for me, a new battle I must face
A battle that cannot be won but only kept at bay
I cannot express the pain that just rips me apart inside
I am so afraid to be myself, I just want hide

Just putting it out there...

http://rantingsofalunachick.wordpress.com/2013/05/11/untitled/

Beautifully expressed! I felt your raw emotion, fear, and despair through these words. You have a gift. I'm sure some or most of us can relate on some level to any number of things you wrote in this, however not many of us would be able to articulate what we feel as well as you did. I appreciate you sharing this.
Thank you.

HQ...as Sweet Surrender already said, but I must echo "Beautifully expressed!" I can definitely relate to the despair of depression. You painted that picture so well with your words. ((hugs))

Your pain and sorrow are palpable. Fortunately, you have a creative outlet in which to express those feelings which have no name but hurt all the way down to your soul. This is a beautiful poem that you should submit for publication somewhere, perhaps in BP Magazine or an e-zine dealing with mental health.

I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. Been there, felt that, have the battle scars on my heart to prove it, just can't express it in verse.