[ItsJustMe:)]

Hi all ... So about three weeks ago.. after 13 yrs of behavior that seemed off or even doing thing I later regret and cant take back.. I was diagnosed BP In which I am in a way kinda happy to know. I was starting to think that for some unknown reason I was just trying to destroy my own life. Even worse the fact that I also destroyed my whole families life. Then when I do come out of it I am left with what use to be my life ....And a lot of people My husband, my kids, my parents..extremely hurt.
So after this last long horrible Mania I went on, I got really depressed worst I have ever been. I decided I am gonna go talk to someone. After 13 yrs I finally talked to a therapist who kinda told me what she thought was going on. Then on to Psychiatrist who did diagnose it as BP I.
So I am just starting meds but my biggest fear is another Manic episode. I am scared of it because I know at that time and there usually a few months long, I refuse to listen to anyone. I will argue tell them there wrong.
So my question is when you do go manic what do you do to try and get yourself to realize there right?
I wanna say I have not gone manic since the diagnosis and I am not sure if since I know what is going on it will help me realize uhh ohh time to get help.

[BipolaRNurse]

Hello, and welcome to PC!

In my experience, mania brings with it a shocking lack of insight. Here I am, feeling great, bouncing off the walls, blurting out whatever pops into my mind, insulting people when I think I'm being funny, being totally irresponsible......and then I deny outright that there's anything wrong with me!!

It's taken me some time, as well as some hard-earned lessons, to understand that when one person tells me a thing, I might be able to get away with considering the source and then ignoring it. When two people tell me the same thing, I need to pay attention; but when three or more (or pretty much everyone) are saying that I'm manic and acting like a jackass, it's time to call my psychiatrist.

Bottom line: You need to be able to trust the word of those around you that you are indeed manic, and that you need to go for help. Sometimes, it helps to talk about it (when you are stable) and say that you know they have your best interests at heart, and then agree---in writing if need be---to do as they tell you when you're out of control, even if YOU don't think you're out of control. Also give your trusted people permission to call your doctor if you're too manic to realize that you need help; they'll be able to spot the danger signals sooner than you will.

Hope this is helpful to you.

[LucidLucy]

Bipolarnurse has given you great advice on this.

And remember that now that you are on meds you are much less likely to go into mania and if you do, it should be less severe then when unmedicated. Just make sure to take your meds exactly as directed. Don't skip doses or reduce them in any way.

Mania usually builds slowly starting with hypomania before going full blown. It might help to think back to what you felt like just before full blown mania and write down your symptoms.

For me it starts with sleeping only 5 hours a night because I wake up earlier. Excessive and impulsive purchaces comes next. Then I start talking more than normal. I start making more plans and feeling overly positive about my capabilities. This is the verge of full blown mania for me.

By knowing what it looks like for you in the very beginning, it may help you to ask for help before you get to the stage where you simply won't recognize that it is happening.

And as BipolarNurse suggested, it helps if you can share with people close to you what those early symptoms are so they can point out any obvious behavior changes that they see in you before it is too late.