Cyclothymia/bipolar2 or just depressive periods?

I am a 23 years old male from Sweden. I am depressed at the moment, have been like this for maybe 2-3weeks now, the last week have been worst. I don't find pleasure in anything, feelings of meaningless and overall darkness, it's like someone have turned the lights off. Even the lights and the sun are darker than usual.

I got my first depression when i was 15-16years old, i got scared because it was the first time but the doctor told me that i had moderate depression. I felt much worse than "moderate", couldnt sit still or concentrate at all.
The put me on SSRI and i have been on and off in periods since then.

I can't remember how many periods i have had in my life, but it's more than i can remember. It often stay for 2 weeks and it can be like hell. But it can last longer too, last period was around late december to early february.

The period i have right now have been there for maybe 2 weeks, but the first week was just like a cloud on the sky, a feeling of distress or something. Last week have been harde, i really dont enjoy anything i do, i just want the day to end and so on.

BUT

then i can have those periods when i enjoy myself and feel "strong" and energized, i enjoy myself too much and i don't really like other people because they are slow and dumb. When i feel depressed i can feel for everyone. Mostly because i feel like **** myself.. Maybe you are supposed to feel that good all the time, maybe i just have depressive traits, i don't know. When i am up i don't really think i am "up", i am just normal. And i always feel like i can be a little bit happier, i don't do drugs but i am extremely interested in drugs.

Can it be Bipolar? I am sure that i don't have bipolar 1, because i have never had any psychosis or mania.
So either Bipolar 2 or Cyclothymic.
I have read about Bipolar 2 and it seems like it's the worst diagnosis you can get, depressed for 90% of the time and very short hypomania. So i really don't want to have bipolar 2.. lol

sorry if the text.. is so bad you can't understand what i am trying to say.

Thanks.

Sorry you are dealing with depression it really is tough.

Of course no one here can diagnose you, best advice is see a psychiatrist.

Bipolar is treatable.

Welcome to Pc I hope you can find the support and the information here that can help you .

I personally tend to believe that it's all a spectrum and they all suck one way or another. I'm technically diagnosed Bipolar II but I don't live in depression 90% of the time... far from it. Maybe 50%... like that's any better... lol. I also have had a manic episode... but... my pdoc likes to ignore that part of my story... anyway... moving on....

It all sucks no matter where you are.

I wouldn't get too caught up in the labeling of it, even though it IS important on the medical side.

You really should see a professional psychologist or psychiatrist that could better tell you what's going on.

As Christina said, it's treatable and is not a death sentence by any means. Good luck!

In my view, you need to have an updated diagnosis and be treated for whatever it is
that is causing your depression. The highs and lows do sound like bipolar II, but it could
be anything, frankly, and as another said, we can't diagnose.

You do need to be on medication, though, and a psychiatrist could help you so much
to get stable and feel so much better.

Please make that appointment and end the suffering you're going through.

(Incidentally, bipolar II is not considered the most serious of mental illnesses. The
depression is difficult and draining, but there is no psychosis and there are no full blown manic attacks. As one said, the illness is a spectrum and is constantly changing in its effects.

Someone has even suggested (a professional) that it is part of the spectrum of bipolar and schizophrenia illness. I'm reasonably confident you don't have schizophrenia.)

Hello, I have bipolar II! It could still change to I, but I think it's more II than I. I'm just typing this so you can see if there's something you can relate to. Bipolar II can be very different for different people.

Since I got depressed at around age 10 (slowly progressed from age 9 to certainly clinically significant at age 14), I've been depressed for what I'd guess is about 90% of my time. Since age 16 I've mostly been in a serious depression (I am currently 22). My pdoc and my T said not so long ago they thought my depression was mild. I didn't agree, and when they tested me (twice) I scored almost in the roof: 52 on the Beck Depression Inventory BDI-II. I have a very atypical depression, which I think is because I've learned how to act normally around other people. I know the professionals are the professionals and all... just don't trust them completely. You need to trust yourself first. Professional opinions can be rather unfounded at times.

My periods of depression are usually longer than yours, but everyone is different, and some have shorter periods. Some have much more hypomania than others (I have recently had my share of that too). Some have more and longer normal periods, others have almost none. Rapid cycling leads to poor prognosis, so shorter periods are not necessarily better.

I also get anger and anxiety in cycles, it seems. I'm not sure if this is during some form of hypomania or not. I suspect it is something different, although I have read that hypomania can cause a lot of anger and anxiety. When I get the anger thing I want to wear a knife so I can stab people if I'm lucky and they attack me. I'm normally not a violent person at all, but when the anger comes, weak and skinny me is looking for a fight.

Bipolar II is not often considered the most serious mental illness, no, but that depends entirely on what you mean by serious. If you mean level of increased mortality rate, proportion of sick time to time in remission and quality of life, then bipolar II is probably one of the worst diagnoses. If you mean severity of symptoms, then no. We're somewhere in the middle.

I got Rhode feelings if restlessness, its ****ng irritating. Last episod depression in Winter was about loooow Energy, not even able to shower, but this time its about restlessness. I am irritated on People and things. Only light is my box of benzo, but thé day after i eat benzo it eveb get worse and noo i am not eating benzo every day.

And yes i am seeing a psychiatrist, but hey i am just having ocd

To clarify, because this is very important, I believe what you're referring to is a post about a study that shows that bipolar disorder, schizophrenia (and I think a couple of others) share some of the same gene mutations (I believe there was an article on PC, though I've read it elsewhere as well, it's a relatively new study). But sharing some genes does not mean that all of these illnesses are on a common/the same 'spectrum,' that would be something else entirely. In other words, an extreme end of bipolar is *not* a form of schizophrenia or vice versa.