[WrongEverything]

Went to doctor. Doctor gave depakote, working it up. @ 500mg at the moment.

Called him to up dose because I've been having crazy mood swings and i started thinkin the devil was in my closet... EVERY closet. Depressed suicidal paranoia stuff.. so he said he could raise it tomorrow, but I have to take a blood draw first.

Except i can't go to the blood draw appointment because i don't have the co-pay.

So I'm stuck on this 500mg which is nothing, (it was supposed to be a maintainace dose because I WAS stable.)..

And IDK what I'm going to do. I feel in control now but It all happens so quickly and I should just go to bed but i'll probably spend tonight up to no good.

What does one do? I told him i'd do it tomorrow(blood draw), but I can't go.

[Travelinglady]

Hi! I would call his office first thing in the morning and leave a message about your situation. Will you be able to get hold of some money soon?

I suggest you try to do something relaxing such as take a warm bath and try to get some sleep. I don't know what you mean by being "up to no good," but if you can't get relaxed enough to sleep, then try to find good things to distract you. Maybe watch TV or even play some games here at Psych Central.

Hang in here. You will be okay.

[WrongEverything]

His office is closed on the weekend, not until monday. I need a shower, hygine has gone out the window. Going to try to sleep.

Bipolar never ceases to amaze me. It really is "like flipping a switch" I was fine.

Now I'm definitely not. i just really don't want to be hospitalized again. I need to get ahold of this.

And by up to no good I meant self-harm/medication, suicidal thinking.

I swear it always gets worse alone at night, because I don't have to act normal.

Shower tomorrow. Trying for sleep tonight.

[cool09]

My Doc told me that depakote dosage is based on your weight. It's like 100 mg for every 10 lbs you weigh. (He said it's like basting a turkey.) ie. If you weigh 180 lbs. therapeutic depakote dosage should be around 1800 mg. I could not take the stuff when I got to high dosage.

Copay for blood test? I never had insurance that had that.

[Sometimes psychotic]

How much is the copay? maybe you can donate plasma or something they will pay you for that...

[winter4me]

Do let your doc know about the finances. I used to always have insurance etc, till a few years ago----I'm no good at asking for help (being a helper myself), but when my doc found out, they did all the paperwork to lower all my costs and yesterday I had a PE (found a new job!!!)----and got charged...nothing.
The plasma donation idea is a good one. My daughter's done that for extra money while going to school.

[WrongEverything]

I've tried to donate before and they always turn me away with "your veins are too small to try to hit" but I think its because I've got a lot of self-harm scarring on my arms, despite how much I try to cover it.

I'm only on 500mg atm and definitely need to go up to around 2000mg+ if its by weight.. but he just won't allow it until he has my blood work, which is understandable.

I don't think I can the office to do that, but I will see if they have anything next time. The reason is I live in a very big city, so there would be a lot of people who also might need assistance, so they probably don't offer it.

No samples either >.<

I don't know, I'm a bit better now than I was before, slept a bit (not enough), but I did manage to shower and put clean clothes on! Score one for me.

One day closer to Monday.

Thanks all for the replies. Still f**ked, but not as worried about it at the moment.

[winter4me]

Never hurts to ask. Sometimes big cities have many more resources...best to you, hang in there.

I know here, there are private organizations that help w/ medical expenses. Our local Catholic Charities does it. Try looking into those. I know I can't take a high does of that stuff. Makes me shake like a leaf in a hurricane.