[faerie_moon_x]

It's a bit worse than normal. Which probably means it's really bad since I'm on high gear all the time.

On my cognitive games these are my scores compared to the database (women 30-39 years old):
Concentration 27%
Problem solving 24%
Memory 8%
Visual 23%
Speed 6%



I knew my memory is bad and my reaction times were not what they once were, but that is worse than I thought.

I was writing the other day but then lost the thread of it. But, it's better than what I did for the whole month of May.

I'm really fat and depressed about it. I am working on my diet and exercise and tracking everything. Ever since I stopped getting sick as much I gained 40 pounds in like 3 months because my body is retaining more of everything again.

I'm keeping a good mood tracker so I can show it to the therapist once I find one, which I'm slacking on, which I know I shouldn't be... but I am... because as always I give up too easily....

Anyway, I'm here but not posting much because one second I'm clearly thinking the next my thoughts are all over the place as you can probably telll by this randomness... haha....

[intergalactictraveler]

"Sometimes the lights all shinin' on me/Other times I can barely see/Lately it occurs to me-e/What a lo-ng, strange trip it's been." 'Truckin' by The Grateful Dead. Lyrics: Robert Hunter. Music: Jerry Garcia

[~Christina]

I say toss out all the tracking stuff , mood charts , scales , mental #'s All of it "could" be making you focus on all the things you struggle with and bring you down.

Just walk, exercise,be happy, be sad ,be pissed off . I think just having to track things daily makes you realize every day you have things you struggle with. Try it for a week.. no charts no nothing.

Just get an appt with a T .. They don't have to have a mood tracker to help identify the most pressing issues.

I stopped a mood tracker when I realized it forced me to rate all my Bipolar feelings each day. I told my T I quit because it pissed me off .. he laughed and said "Good just live your life and we will work on what needs to be worked on. Kinda felt freeing.

Look up T's numbers today, goggle a bit and make a few calls today. You can do this, you have dealt with worse stuff

[BlueInanna]

That is interesting, the statistics are surprisingly low on those ones. Is it daily a daily statistic or overall in your training? I change back and forth between the 30-39 and the 40-49 category sometimes just to see what a nice higher score I will get haha.
Attention and working memory are my lowest.

Lack of sleep, mood, diet, stress, energy level, sufficient water intake, cognitive function all affect each other. And if you're in an episode or coming out, cognitive function can be impaired and out of your control until you feel better.

I hate dieting and exercise. Can't help you there . I like dancing, and sometimes will knock out like 50-100 jumping jacks in the evening just to at least get something out of the way. Lots of water and switching between drinking hot and cold water have helped me lose weight in the past. But it's a lot harder to lose weight these days. I want to improve there.

Don't forget the vitamin D, I was shocked at my low level last fall. We probably produce or overuse nutrients differently due to the bipolar. But thinking about taking a big old multi vitamin gives me stomach ache. Those emergen-C packets you put in water are great and packed with vitamins & nutrients. I haven't been eating enough so I will at least drink one of those today.

Anyway. I feel ya. Drink water keep cells hydrated. Lemons are pretty affordable if you can get into it - squeeze 1-2 in glasses of water throughout the day. Good for bp and weight loss and general health. Another trick to weight loss is not to tell the extraneous people around you that you're doing it.

[BlueInanna]

I have to agree about the mood charts - just can't keep up with them. They've become a chore and a bore for me. My pdoc has never asked me for one in 5 years. Only do it if it's interesting or enjoyable for you, you already have so much on your plate.

[faerie_moon_x]

I like tracking things. It doesn't make me mad, it makes me feel better. I like to see my charts. I've always loved charts. When I first got excel on my first computer, I would make up data just so I could make charts. And random powerpoint presentations. I had a whole series about how attracting sharks at work would be annoying to co-workers....

when I get to make real charts and things I'm very happy.

I need to track my food intake right now. I have to get my baseline and then once I get on track again I'll do better. You'd be shocked. Yesterday I had 1600 calories for dinner. I didn't realize how much crap I was eating. That's the thing with food tracking, you do it for a short time, then stop for a while, then start again later. It just gives you a kick in the pants to realize what's going on.

I have to be careful because I am at risk of diabetes.

I really don't mind tracking. I don't beat myself up when I forget, though. Because I do forget. Right now I'm trying ot do it every day for when I see the therapist. I never trust that people will believe me when I tell them things, so I like having proof.

I mean, from like 14 years old or so I was actively trying to get help with my depression (which I thought was only depression) from doctors, my dad, my friends, my school... and no one ever believed me or cared. So, I like my mood tracker. Then of course I want to track days I'm paranoid or seeing/hearing anything. It's just a tick box. I'll forget otherwise.

[faerie_moon_x]

PS I don't know how to change my database. I'm only 33 so I don't want to fall into the 40 catagory just yet. I struggle enough with the fact that I"m not 19 even though I feel like I'm only just a kid still... I don't know when that goes away.....

[~Christina]

LOL , As long as it works for you. Do keep in mind it can take a year or more to get your system back on track following gallbladder surgery.. Took me about 6 months to even back out. ( according to doctors that was fast)

[Trippin2.0]

I'm not very wordy atm , but wanna say that I'm thinking of you and I hope your thoughts are able to meet up somewhere

[faerie_moon_x]

See... I knew it was something.

I slept maybe 3 hours last night. today I feel like I slept a full 8 hours. I don't even feel like that when I actually sleep... I wasn't tired at all. 3:00 a.m. comes and I'm still sitting there playing a game. At 4:00 I finally fell asleep. Was up at 7.

Minds going fast. Race race race. No concentration. I have a ton to do because a) Friday. B) leaving early today. But, just dinking around. Do one thing, switch task. Do one thing, switch task....

Grrrr....

[Confusedinomicon]

I heard that taking pictures of your meal and uploading it to tumblr or something can help dieting if your a visual learner. Then you have a clear representation of what you are putting in your body and can see the progression towards healthier meals

I haven't tried it but someone on youtube lost 10 lbs doing this and its something I think Ill eventually do.

[faerie_moon_x]

Originally Posted by Confusedinomicon

I heard that taking pictures of your meal and uploading it to tumblr or something can help dieting if your a visual learner. Then you have a clear representation of what you are putting in your body and can see the progression towards healthier meals

I haven't tried it but someone on youtube lost 10 lbs doing this and its something I think Ill eventually do.

I don't think it would help me because no one ever follows me on those things and also because even on Facebook my family ignores me. I think it works better if people make comments or you know someone might be judging you.... really it's like a shame diet.... Haha.

Today I got myself a food plan plate at work. They are plates cut into portion appropriate sections. Like a giant one for veggies, small ones for fruit, grains/starch, and protein. I'm going to use it when I cook, and clean it myself and keep it in my room where my kids won't steal it. LOL.

[~Christina]

I wander Tumblr .. My Daughter is my only person Ha , errr sad , but I often need to just see pretty things to calm myself and I can literally wander about for hours. ( guilty pleasure )

I think the plate is a good tool in healthy weight loss.

Hugs !