[middlepath]

Therapy made me worse...

I signed up for group therapy through my insurance. It is dialectical therapy (cognitive+mindfulness). Well, i got there and was open to the process so I was ready to go.

The therapist did not even introduce herself, I had to ask her name. Then, it seemed like people knew each other and I didn't know anybody (felt like an outsider at first)...turns out it is an open-entry group only two of us were new, but the therapist didn't mention that until quite awhile later. It would have been nice to know that in the beginning. Then, she didn't have the handouts organized there were papers flying all over and she didn't even explain the concept she was suppose to teach. Instead, she just fielded questions from group members about topics that were already covered but didn't introduce the topics to the two newbies so I didn't know what the heck she was talking about. She was so disorganized and random...I couldn't make sense of things so I just got more and more annoyed as the session went on. Finally, at the end, I spoke up and said that I was confused, and i couldn't make sense the class and suggested she put together an overview handout for new people to follow along. Well, turns out there was one such sheet but she didn't give it to us...until I asked.

Granted I have been hypo for a couple weeks now and that day it was sort of switching over to a dysphoric feeling (now coming to a halt). So not sure if it was my state of mind that made me feel so annoyed or it was really just an annoying situation. How can you tell when you are in the midst of an episode, if it is you or your mood talking?

I felt bad about making the comments I did at the end, it was not my intention to be a jerk, but I am afraid I may have sounded that way. I did email her and explained that I was frazzled and overwhelmed. Now I have to go back next Tuesday...hopefully she will be more organized or i may malfunction again.

Well, she just wasn't organized. Your orderly mind picked it up almost immediately. Try
not to blame yourself; it may have been a real lesson for her to get her act together if
she's going to try to counsel others.

I will never forget going into the office of a physician and talking to one of his staff
members who was in charge of administering allergy shots. I never saw such a cluttered
and disorganized room in all my life. I was immediately turned off thinking that she
might be giving me the injections. I just politely told her that after 15 years of
giving myself the allergy shots, I could do it for myself. What an experience! It
was something like you'd see on a tv show about hoarders.

So, while it's going to happen maybe once or twice in a lifetime, it won't continue for
you. Chalk it up as an unfortunate introduction to therapy, and look for a better
therapist if it continues, please. There are very good ones out there who will help you
to feel better about things.

[cool09]

I never understood or believed in group therapy. During inpatient stays the Nurse and Therapist would never say a word and there would be silence for 45 minutes. When you're admitted to the hospital you are at your lowest and most dysfunctional point in your life. I was there to try and find some direction from someone and these "professionals" had zero advice or input. Outpatient group therapy is one big cluster f-, as well. It's a complete waste of time and money if you have a severe mental illness (and meds aren't giving you an ounce of relief).

[Mr. Radio]

You shouldn't worry about sounding like a jerk. When I was manic, I'm sure I was a pretty big *** and made comments that came off rude. I didn't care at the time and I still don't really a care about that now. That was my illness, she is a doctor and should understand if you were/are hypo. It does seem like something like that would be more organized. I went to a group meeting the other day and we discussed the topics that were covered in the previous session and did a recap and started over.

Saying something/ speaking up will be for the better. I'm sure a lot of other people in the class were thinking the same thing. Or at least the other new person. Good luck with the sessions.

[gayleggg]

I had a pretty good experience with Intensive OUtpatient therapy, though, it took a few times to get used to the group. Like you said some had already been going and I was a newbie, but I stuck with it and it helped me through a stressful period. Good luck. Maybe it will be more structured next time you go. It's good that you spoke up and let her know how your were feeling.

[Victoria'smom]

do you have an individual therapist.I think going to them more often will help more thing to therapy. And it probably cost around the same amount.

[faerie_moon_x]

It sounds like she has organizational problems and maybe she herself gets overwhelmed by the group aspect. In fact, what you describe sounds a lot like me. I forget what I'm doing and get disorganized so easily. But, you know, I try to set up tricks and things to help me out. She should have been aware two new people were coming and prepared in advance for that.

Anyway, I understand you were upset and it's not your fault. In that situation, being disorganized or not doesn't matter, you still have to try since other people are involved.

[A Red Panda]

I'd be upset by that.... it wouldn't matter if I was happy or hyped up or depressed or what... I would be upste and stressed out if I got up the courage to go to a group therapy and felt lost the whole time before the person running it didn't think to be inclusive of new members!

[BipolaRNurse]

You've got a lot more guts than I do, OP. I'm not the least bit shy, but when it comes to airing my dirty laundry in a group full of other dysfunctional people, I clam up tight and find every excuse in the world not to go. Luckily I have therapy with my psychiatrist, and that's good enough for me.

[jadedbutterfly]

I go to DBT.... and around here... new members are only brought in at the beginning of a module, and it starts with mindfulness.
I am sorry that you found yourself in such a terribly confusing group. and the leader.. so disorganized. I would not return to the group until its in the beginning of a module... Or if you can find one given by a different leader...

[sprik]

its terribly hard to walk right in a middle of a group session already going on. People r already comfortable with each other. Things r set into a routine, and u mess up that routine by not knowing it. To be honest some groups can be very possessive of their group and will look at u as an outsidier. I came late in a group and it was hard to fit in. If u cant catch up quickly and the therapist is horrible, u should see if u can come back when the group restarts.

[~Christina]

Wow what a mess ! I am sorry you had to deal with it all. Is there maybe another group you can try out? or as already said , wait for the next go around?

[middlepath]

Thanks for the replies and suggestions. I was so bent out of shape. It took a ton out of me to even BE there, much less try to process all that was going on. Fortunately, I received an email from the therapist yesterday...she said she appreciated the feedback I gave her and she is now reconsidering when she will allow people to start. She was even forthright about saying the previous week (before I got there) a new girl entered the group and was refusing to come back because she felt like she didn't belong.

Though I am frusterated that this happened, I feel super relieved that she is honest enough with herself to be able to confront criticism and learn from it. I have to give her props for that; I think I would be in a corner rocking trying to figure out why I was such a screw-up.

So, I have it on my calendar for Tuesday, I am going to do my best to let this weeks incident go. I will try to look at her with compassionate eyes and see that she really is trying her best?? If it is not effective for me after this session, I will thank her for her time and we will part ways. That way I honor myself, too.

Its so weird, but when I here what other people go through, its like I can gain objective clarity about possible solutions. When its me and my life, I become a big lump of I-don't-know-what-to-do. So thanks for the help everyone : )

Side note...I may need a xanax just to GO to therapy next week, lol.

[middlepath]

Originally Posted by Miguel'smom

do you have an individual therapist.I think going to them more often will help more thing to therapy. And it probably cost around the same amount.

Yes I do have an individual therapist, but they are suppose to sort of be a "check in" post. They help determine your needs and then boot you over to whatever group you need. If things don't pan out this next week, I will ask if I can just work with my private therapist and skip the whole group situation.