[PlanningtoLive]

I am in the midst of a major dilemma here. About a month ago, I got a management job for a quick service restaurant - I am the store manager. This comes after a long period of being an hourly employee and getting paid squat. I had positions like this before - before meds.

I am bipolar II and two years ago ended up in a psych ward from an overdose. I've come a long way since then and have finally found the perfect combination of meds that have stabilized me and gotten me back on track. But as with anything, there was a price to pay. My personality has changed - I am more laid back, more mellow. That "edge" is gone now, replaced by quietness and calmness.

My problem is my boss. He wants me to be more "aggressive" with customers in terms of upselling and suggesting items. He wants that "edge" back - the one that I used to have with people. I was outgoing and everything before. I very rarely get upset anymore about much of anything and that competiveness and quick thinking have gone.

I know that deep down I wish to quit my meds and live a "normal" life again.......to be myself again. But I remember what happened the last time I quit - the mood swings, the depression, the upside down life I had. I've worked really hard to get to a point of stability and now I'm considering weaning off my meds. My boss says that being "aggressive" is part of my job - and I love what I do, finally. I don't want to jeopardize this job but my greatest fear is just that - if I slowly quit my meds, I know what can happen. It only took a week last time for everything to go crazy again.

I sent an email to my T who is all for tapering me off my meds. He prefers dealing with things without help if possible. I know that I will be doing it slowly but I worry about the repercussions that can happen before I would be able to get stable again if things go badly.

So what does everyone think? Should I take a major chance and wean off my meds or just try to exert myself into being more outgoing so that my boss doesn't have to "drag me kicking and screaming to the next level" - as he puts it?

I appreciate any thoughts on this as it is driving me crazy.

Thanks.

Mary Alice

[DaveyJones]

Hi, Mary Alice...

Congrats on your new position. I think things are going to work out fine for you.

For years I worked as a musician, travelling around making music. When I settled down I got a job selling guitars and such in a music store. I thought, "This'll be easy--not many people know more about guitars than I do--piece of cake"! I was friendly and outgoing, people tend to trust me, no problem, right?

Of course there was, or I wouldn't be writing this,<lol> I didn't know how to ask someone to buy something. I would talk them to death, hoping they would buy the guitar, but I wouldn't close the sale. Eventually I learned, though, and became one of the top guitar and pro sound sales guys in the Midwest.

My point, of course, is that you can learn to conquer your new shyness to upsell your customers...that's just a skill aquired by practice. It's also a skill you cannot practice if you are beat-up run-over depressed or bouncing off the walls manic.(That's why I'm not the ace guitar sales guy anymore).

So, I would encourage you to stay on your meds at least for awhile. You CAN achieve your goals if you stay on them. If you stop, chances are very high that you will not.

I hope this is helpful, one way or another...you are in my thoughts. Good luck!

DJ

PS. In case you're wondering, now that I've been stable for a while, I'm going to get back in to music and music retailing. On meds. DJ

[PlanningtoLive]

Thanks DJ.......maybe I can do both and not be all over the place. I just know the terror I feel at going back to that life again. Hopefully my boss will have patience with me and not get upset. I'm going to keep trying though.

[Perna]

I'd talk to your pdoc/physician as well as your T. You know your T's opinion but also know that so far he and you have not been able to do very well achieving what he (and some of you) wants when you're off meds?

Personally, I don't understand what doing more advertising, having employees ask the extra, "you want fries with that" questions to get more sales of more stuff has to do with "aggression" or edge. You say you like your job so I don't see where your actual problem is? If I were stablized on meds and "happy" because of it, I wouldn't want to potentially jeopardize that.

If you're "afraid" of the customers or something, I'd work on that with your T on meds. I don't think whether you want to make your boss more money or not is a meds-related problem. Do you get a percentage of higher sales? I wouldn't go after higher sales probably because of the effort required where I didn't get much for putting it forth. Find something that you want and trade that with your boss for increased sales? More salary for you or an increase for your employees? Brainstorm with your employees for their ideas and wishes? Being "laid back" is a good thing especially when it's combined with "clever" like Tom Sawyer getting the other kids to paint the fence.