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#1
Aug 08, 2013, 11:36 AM
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My pdoc started me on trileptal two weeks ago but I never filled the script because I didn't have the money for it. Today my T in the program said she is concerned about my behavior and mood because I'm so hypo. She made me promise to get and take the trileptal. But I don't want to take it. I'm scared of losing this good feeling. I feel now like the abilify was keeping me down, depressed, because when it got out of my system I felt normal. I feel like I don't need mood stabilizer because I love hypomania although it seems to be heading toward mania for me. I started seein things from the corner of my eye again (this only happens to me while manic so even though it's not a full on hallucination I know it's related) and I have felt like people are following me when I'm walking in the woods. I guess I should take the trileptal to stave off full mania but I'm so afraid it will put me back into a depression. I can't take the depression!
I just love mania so much until it turns on me. Maybe that's when I'll realize I need the med. maybe I should just take it now so it doesn't turn on me. I just hope I can enjoy a few more days.
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Of course it is happening inside your head. But why on earth should that mean that it is not real? -Albus Dumbledore That’s life. If nothing else, that is life. It’s real. Sometimes it f—-ing hurts. But it’s sort of all we have. -Garden State |
 middlepath, ~Christina
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#2
Aug 08, 2013, 11:47 AM
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I think it's in your best interest to take it I been ther done that it seems like is either depression hypo or manic or mixed its hard to find that base line but mania does turn on u quickly and it's sneaky and meds take a couple of days to get in your system so I think you should take them good luck hugs
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Bipolar 1 Gad Ptsd BPD ZOLOFT 100 TOPAMAX 400 ABILIFY 10 SYNTHROID 137 |
 deelooted, wildflowerchild25
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#3
Aug 08, 2013, 11:50 AM
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I hope it doesn't take away the hypo your enjoying. I think its a good thing that you are aware that a ride of the manic Tilt O Wheel could be heading your way.
Take care of you !
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Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
| wildflowerchild25
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#4
Aug 08, 2013, 02:03 PM
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I used to take Depakote, which is also an anticonvulsant. I was also taking Lamictal. I developed a hand tremor, so my psychiatrist took me off of the Depakote and put me on Tegretol. I almost immediately became hypomanic, headed for full blown mania (hallucinations like yours, maybe a little paranoia).
I recommend listening to your Therapist. If you're like me, you don't want to screw around with mania. |
| deelooted
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#5
Aug 08, 2013, 07:45 PM
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I'm with Skittles.. mania is a two-edged sword that can hack your life into pieces. Boy do I miss it, but I am finding happiness in a broken mind once again...from the help of my meds!! Better try the trileptal
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Current Dx- Bipolar I w/ psychotic features - Borderline Personality Disorder Current Rx- 15mg Olanzapine, 50mg Trazodone 2x day, 200mg at night, 300mg Bupropion XR, Prozac 20mg Previous Dx- paranoid schizophrenia, schizoaffective bipolar disorder Previous Rx- Depakote, Seroquel, Risperidone |
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#6
Aug 08, 2013, 08:52 PM
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Yeah I'm taking it. I decided I don't want the jittery madness that comes with full mania. I just hope I remain happy. I don't care if I'm not hypo as long as I'm happy.
__________________
Of course it is happening inside your head. But why on earth should that mean that it is not real? -Albus Dumbledore That’s life. If nothing else, that is life. It’s real. Sometimes it f—-ing hurts. But it’s sort of all we have. -Garden State |
| A Red Panda
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#7
Aug 08, 2013, 09:12 PM
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Congrats on making a smart choice! That's pretty awesome that you were so aware that you were heading closer into an actual mania and made the right choice for yourself.
It's so hard when we're in the UPs because they just feel really good. I don't know about you, but I tend to feel like it's the only time where I'm actually HAPPY wtih myself and my life. So if it was to go away completely... would I ever actually feel happy?! But "ok" is better than "not-ok" which means the meds would be a good idea for now 
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"The time has come, the Walrus said, to talk of many things. Of shoes, of ships, of sealing wax, of cabbages, of kings! Of why the sea is boiling hot, of whether pigs have wings..." "I have a problem with low self-esteem. Which is really ridiculous when you consider how amazing I am. |
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