How bad is it, really, to start completely over? Lets take online for instance... how bad would it be to change your name, change everything you didnt like about yourself in order to start fresh with no reputation or mistakes following you around? Looking for opinions

[Nessa213]

Coming from someone who's started over several times in her life, I can relate to the feeling. Personally I think it's sometimes needed.

My dad used to tell me that if someone tells you something about yourself and you don't like what you hear, you're the only one who can change it. So change it.

It's an over-simplified way of looking at it, but that doesn't mean it isn't true. Sometimes actually MAKING the change is amazingly difficult and it's not so easy sometimes to completely remake yourself. But, it certainly can be done. And sometimes, it does need to be done. But, it really would depend on the context I suppose.

Well, I was on here before, 6 months ago and such. I had just passed my one year on the site, and that was when I had a crisis and things got rough. I mean, really rough. I panicked and had my account deleted. Well, I didn't feel that I could come back on as myself, not after everything that had happened.

So I became Dumbfounded! I completely reinvented myself and became the person that I am today. It's been healthy for me because the changes that I have made online carried over to re inventing myself in real life too.

So here I am, happy! But someone, a close, old friend on here used my real name in a post and it got me thinking.... Am I Still Running?

So here I am, confused about what to do!

[~Christina]

I don't know why anyone would want to change who there were online, unless the person online was being fake .. wouldn't a person still be the same? still actions and reactions?

I "started over" about 2 years age.. as in I decided to help myself. I worked on improving myself, I am still working on it.. .

[BlueInanna]

One of my favorite songs - Red hot chili peppers - Midnight:

Just a minute while I reinvent myself
Make it up and then I take it off the shelf

So I vote yes, reinvent yourself however whenever you like!

Well, I wasn't being fake... I just felt like I couldn't come back as who I was. I invented Dumbfounded and in doing so I discovered who I was and wanted to be. So that part is great! but, I'm still running away by using Dumbfounded and I don't want to anymore. I asked that my original name be reinstated.

[~Christina]

I have you known who you were since about your 3rd post.. But wasn't going to say anything.. figured you had your reasons.

I did. And I appreciate it.

[dragonfly2]

I think that mistakes can be forgiven and we don't necessarily need to change our names to reinvent ourselves per se. And like Christina, I'm pretty sure I know who you "used to be" just from the little bit I've read today alone. I've been gone for a while, so I don't know what happened here that made you panic, but if you feel you're ready to be the "old you" again then it's probably time. I would imagine that some people are wondering what happened to you and will be glad to "see" you again.

[BlueInanna]

I love it! Thrilled you're back buddy!! Ok, off to sushi... thanks hypo I love it again lol...

Originally Posted by dragonfly2

I think that mistakes can be forgiven and we don't necessarily need to change our names to reinvent ourselves per se. And like Christina, I'm pretty sure I know who you "used to be" just from the little bit I've read today alone. I've been gone for a while, so I don't know what happened here that made you panic, but if you feel you're ready to be the "old you" again then it's probably time. I would imagine that some people are wondering what happened to you and will be glad to "see" you again.

Landskaperdan.

[dragonfly2]

Welcome back Dan. Yes, that's who I thought you were.

Yeah, there was a LOT going on when I left. Maybe leaving wasn't the right thing to do, but I was not in my right mind. And starting Dumbfounded, well that may not have been the right thing to do either, but it was all I could bring myself to do.

The funny thing was, when I stepped back and felt free to evaluate myself and who I wanted to be, as dumbfounded, I learned a lot about myself.

Long story short, I have high self esteem, I'm more down to earth and have a lot of self respect. So, in turn, I think it was, maybe not a good thing, but a necessary thing for me to do? I don't know, but it was one bad decision after the next. I'm breaking that cycle now though.

[dragonfly2]

It sounds like you did the best you could in a difficult situation. That's all any of us can do. It sounds like it did give you some emotional freedom and release and gave you some space to grow. But hiding under the new name as it seems you feel you're doing seems to have run its course, yes? So now you come back having traveled through your dark journey, going through the refiner's fire, so to speak, and you are a better man for it. I don't think anyone's going to judge you negatively for it in any way.

Just good to see you again.

[A Red Panda]

Reinventing yourself is totally normal. So would be something like getting a new username or whatnot. But when you reinvent yourself, you're still YOU. If you aren't you, then you're just being fake. And lying about it isn't healthy or fair to anyone at all.

It sounds though like you've starting to find the YOU that's in between all the bipolar annoyingness, and that's a great thing. And it is great that you've brought up who you were with people here - honesty is always the best way to go if you want to have someone's respect and trust for the long haul!

[Mr. Radio]

Originally Posted by dumbfounded

How bad is it, really, to start completely over? Lets take online for instance... how bad would it be to change your name, change everything you didnt like about yourself in order to start fresh with no reputation or mistakes following you around? Looking for opinions

Not that bad. Starting over is good on some occasions. It gives you a chance to self reflect on what worked before and what needs to be improved. People change all though their life after humbling experiences.

After I graduate this winter I'm thinking of starting grad school at a different college and form a new reputation and meet new people. Try and accomplish everything that I missed out on during my undergrad as it kind took me by surprise. I was cheated out of my last semester and now that I have greater insight into the world around me and what it takes to succeed I'll come in with the pedal to the metal.

I basically had to start all over once it had psychosis. I had to learn how to cope and now that **** is looking brighter I'm gaining the flow of the soul back. As corny as that sounds..... it may take some time, but as Johnny Cash would say, when you get the blues get a rhythm.

Good luck, I hope we can both a make a positive transition. Peace be with you.

[venusss]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

I have you known who you were since about your 3rd post.. But wasn't going to say anything.. figured you had your reasons.

same here.

It was actually kinda obvious.

[BlueInanna]

Let it roll off you like water off a duck's back

Yep. No worries here, just glad to be getting my real name back. Glad to reconnect with friends too. Theres some that i have really missed!

[Wham6429]

I can certainly understand the feeling of wanting to start over. I think there is a fine line between starting over to positively change yourself and starting over to run from your problems. As long as you're doing it for the right reasons I think it can be a great thing. I started over in April when I decided to follow through with meds and therapy. But I've been relapsing lately so it's almost time for me to start over again. Good luck with whatever you decide.