[laurawwrites]

I'm bored. I've been mostly stable for about six months, and I'm bored. Is anyone else bored by stability? I feel guilty about it but I miss my mania, in a twisted way I even miss my depression. I miss the drama i guess. I've even been tempted to skip my meds but would never actually do it. I know i'm not really remembering things the way they really were. I'm not remembering just how awful suicidal depression is, or the impact that psychotic mania has on my family. Now i just feel slow and dull and medicated. Am I the only one with this dirty little secret of missing the instability?

[deelooted]

Originally Posted by laurawwrites

I'm bored. I've been mostly stable for about six months, and I'm bored. Is anyone else bored by stability? I feel guilty about it but I miss my mania, in a twisted way I even miss my depression. I miss the drama i guess. I've even been tempted to skip my meds but would never actually do it. I know i'm not really remembering things the way they really were. I'm not remembering just how awful suicidal depression is, or the impact that psychotic mania has on my family. Now i just feel slow and dull and medicated. Am I the only one with this dirty little secret of missing the instability?

Nope! I think you may have just nailed the number one reason why we bipolarizing flippers stop taking the meds...I hit depression recently over missing my mania!

I dunno about you, my mania is severe and very destructive. For this reason alone, I am sticking with the meds no matter what...I HOPE

[wildflowerchild25]

You're definitely not alone. That is why I am in so much trouble right now. I thought I missed mania and I did - the fun energetic part. Not this irritable, impulsive, delusional, paranoid monster. I don't miss not being able to think straight or sit still. But here I am because I messed with my meds.

Stable can be borin but I would give anything to be hthere right now. You are most definitely not alone!

[wiretwister]

My depression has been suicide thought free for several months now and I do not miss it at all, this kind of boredom is ok with me.

[GenCat]

Im starting to feel the same boredom you speak of...I too am tempted to spice things up, like going of meds.

[Unknown Shadow]

My mood changes very often, so no, I don't miss it. But I know what you mean.

Maybe it's that we miss the people that we are that we have come to know and accept and rely on. that we miss ourselves, however screwed up we are?

I don't miss the deep depressions and the absent minded hypo.....
I have enough to deal with, with my cycling.

for the times that I can go without the symptoms of cycling though, I tend to put it out of my mind and get on with life. Good routines, Good schedules, etc. etc.

So then when I start cycling and showing patterns, it hits that much harder when it screws up all the good stuff that I had going for me.

but I never got bored with the good stuff.

[sprik]

my t told me, you know have to fill your days in with activites so u do not get depressed. Whether u spring clean, organize your whole house, clean out summer clothes, help someone else do it, go volunteer somewhere, find a hobby, good luck at that one, go for walks, read, write, draw, exercise, visit people you haven't seen in a long time,, join a club, Were there things u wanted to do but couldn't do because u could not get out of bed? Every day plan out 2-4 things you want to accomplish the next day. You have to keep yourself busy, and trust me some days are hard, If u do only one that's great, but try not to watch a lot of tv, if u r one of the brain talkers. I don't like anything so I have been having a horrible time with keeping busy, but I force myself to find things to do, and I feel accomplish at the end of the night, So good luck.

[johnthorne1539]

I agree with sprik. Not that we should start looking to the sorts of things we tend to aim for in our manic periods (or at least, not the sorts of things I start to aim for), but that it's helpful and important to be reasonably ambitious about improving ourselves, our talents, broadening our minds and horizons, etc. A lot of it will be boring or suck, because most things worthwhile aren't easy and fun, but it is very rewarding, often enough in the day-to-day and always in the long term.

[kala83]

I totally agree with everyone else, even though my bipolar is mixed....when I am on meds and I am stable yes it makes me feel that I am getting what I want but eventually I start getting bored with it.

But I get really irritable in my manic/depressed moments and usually the results afterward are not good at all.