I'm so angry!

Oh, RB, that is so good to hear! It can be so hard in the heat of the moment -- for everyone (with possibly saints and well-practiced de-fuser sorts excepted) to be not thinking clearly, getting defensive or what have you. But the good news is that most people get more reasonable and helpful than it seems possible for them to ever be when they are seen in the midst of conflict -- once things calm down. Glad to hear that was the case!
(For instance, I might well be mistaken for a rabid wolverine(!) if pushed too hard into big conflict But it's not at all how I am normally -- which is someone who has a tendency to avoid conflict -- even to the point of my detriment. Which isn't good either, just sayin'.)

Keep us posted, ok? Hope the psychosis goes away soon. Feeling exhausted is an understandable residual, but will pass.

Set the alarm on your phone for a few hours in advance of the appointment, because then it will pop up to remind you and can you wrap up whatever it is you're doing - and if you happen to be in the middle of something that you won't be able to get there on time? well... then you can at least call (despite how stressful the phone can be!) and let the office know that you're going to either be late or can't make it.

Your new social worker sounds pretty amazing! I'm liking her lots already. I bet she spent the last few days trying to get those things sorted out for you, and probably also gave you some time off to not make you feel trapped and pressured (regardless of if that was the right response for you; she doesn't know you overly well yet so if that isn't how you want her to respond to you you can let her know when you see her again ). By waiting a few days she was probably trying to show you some respect and give you the space she thinks you needed.

It sounds so amazing that she recognizes HOW poorly you've been treated and she really sounds like she's going to start getting those problems solved!

Your social worker is great! She seems to really "get" you, and is also action-oriented to help you! Glad to hear that you have someone like her on your team!

Resident, I feel your pain, but I have to thank you because something you wrote in your last post describes EXACTLY how I have been feeling:

I have that horrible feeling of being unoccupied yet unable to find something to satisfy my urge to DO something.

It's brilliant. I can't tell you how many times in the last month that I have approached any free time in the day with dread and fear for that exact reason.

I hope things turn around for you and you feel better soon. I hope you can get better help. Keep writing about both your struggles and difficulties. It helps me too.

Hang in there.

I'm so glad she called and seems to really be trying to help you. I hope she can find a better solution to AOT that works even better for you. Do you take meds 1 or 2x a day? We have county 'visiting nurses' here. They usually come 1X a day to make sure meds are taken, meals are prepared, vitals, stability checks, sore (including SI sores ) are properly treated to prevent infection, and nbasic personal higene is met. At times they help with light cleaning, including laundry. They document everything and can pass it to your medical team. Usually they come at the same time daily and are often given to elderly, physically handicapped, or people with serious short term medical conditions but it mau be a good solution for you that hasn't been thought of.

I'm so sorry what you went through and I'm glad you stood up to that social worker. I wish I had the guts to do that. I know how awful it is to be blown off and dismissed by the people that should be helping you. Give yourself a break. Do something you enjoy. As my mother says, No one is going to die if you don't clean the house. I feel the same inability to move on a lot of days. You're not alone. Please don't kill yourself. Those a-holes aren't worth losing your life over