[WrongEverything]

I can't confide in a therapist because they'll throw me in the hospital. But i'm so **** up man. I can't keep thinking these things.

Questioning thinking about death and suicide...

My campus has a police station and i'm just thinking that she'd have police outside the office waiting... I don't feel like I can do my schoolwork in the hospital and I need to do well.

I just keep thinking about self harm and i found both my knives... gonna pick up all my pills tomorrow and i'm just thinking about taking every pill in this **** house.

we all know overdoses don't work but man I just need to do SOMETHING. I can't go on like this.

[Samanthagreene]

[medicalfox]

Why do you hate hospitals so much?

[WrongEverything]

I don't hate the hospital; sure, I get bored there. Its mostly just an aversion to being locked up. I always have dreams/nightmares about this so to actually do it freaks me out, even though i've been in two or three times.

Plus, I can't get any work done there, so i'd just be sitting there while they fool with my medications.

[Meveret]

My only real option right now is a mental ward. The first time I went to one I actually had a lot of hope and self admitted myself. After days of abuse they released me and I was many times worse. Every ward since then have done the same.

If I have tried mental wards around me, and gave them an honest shot, multiple times mind you over years, and they did not work...
Then what else is there?
No one seems to have the answer other than JUST TRY ANOTHER WARD! I BELIEVE IN YOU!

I understand your fear of hospitalization. I find it sick that it is the only option for many.

[Skittles56]

Why did you go into the hospital before? Did you go voluntarily? If you are just going in to have your meds tweaked, it seems to me that your doctor isn't doing a very good job.

[Mollywisk]

Originally Posted by WrongEverything

I can't confide in a therapist because they'll throw me in the hospital. But i'm so **** up man. I can't keep thinking these things.

Questioning thinking about death and suicide...

My campus has a police station and i'm just thinking that she'd have police outside the office waiting... I don't feel like I can do my schoolwork in the hospital and I need to do well.

I just keep thinking about self harm and i found both my knives... gonna pick up all my pills tomorrow and i'm just thinking about taking every pill in this **** house.

we all know overdoses don't work but man I just need to do SOMETHING. I can't go on like this.

It's great that you are focused on your homework and classes, especially when it's such a difficult time.

Could you go in this weekend, just for the weekend, to stabilize? Then out Sunday night or Monday morning for classes?

[Victoria'smom]

You can do your work in a hospital setting if you make accommodations. Ask for a note taker, to tape record your classes, and a week extension for all assignments. Let hospitalization be on your terms. You can't complete classes if you seriously injure yourself either becuse it's the first week now is the time to do this. Think about how sucky it would be if it was right before mid-terms or finals. Talk to your school counselor and disability office about how the school handles short term hospitalization. Once you set everything up talk to your therapist honestly.

[lateralminds]

edit: ~~~~~~~~~

[lateralminds]

edit~~~~~~~ sorry had to take out my trash here...

well truth is, I can't speak for this disorder.. which is why I wrote a self help ~*Fiction book the bipolar apple

would of loved to spend time in courts and take everyone down with me in this government, however I can't say anymore

oh that book that's a fictional story about EVE, and nothing to do with my past.

my past is dead

[lateralminds]

Wrong Everything I would say good luck with everything... but I don't believe in this good luck phrase.

make it best for you, you got the tools, there has to be somebody to help.. I understand we all do, disorder is cruel... we persevere though stronger every time, we all will find the happiness were looking for, just takes some of us more time

ttyl

hey sorry about the rant above, your thread post got me excited :P

[lateralminds]

edit~~~~~~~~~

[WrongEverything]

Why did you go into the hospital before? Did you go voluntarily? If you are just going in to have your meds tweaked, it seems to me that your doctor isn't doing a very good job.

I went because they legal 2000'd me, which is involuntary here in NV.

You can do your work in a hospital setting if you make accommodations. Ask for a note taker, to tape record your classes, and a week extension for all assignments. Let hospitalization be on your terms. You can't complete classes if you seriously injure yourself either becuse it's the first week now is the time to do this. Think about how sucky it would be if it was right before mid-terms or finals. Talk to your school counselor and disability office about how the school handles short term hospitalization. Once you set everything up talk to your therapist honestly.

I haven't gotten any sort of disability services set up for bipolar, I really wanted to do my schoolwork like everyone else does. I didn't want any special treatment. But I get it. Better now than midterms.

Could you go in this weekend, just for the weekend, to stabilize? Then out Sunday night or Monday morning for classes?

They never let anyone out that quick, especially people like me :[

[LadyShadow]

I'm sorry you're having such a hard time, all I can offer is some hugs

[Skittles56]

Wow. Involuntary. Well that sucks. I would hate hospitals too. Just on principle if nothing else.

[SBs_tahira]

I know and understand your aversion to hospitals.... had my first 'experience' as someone with a psycholgical issue going in. Needless to say its caused some anxiety. If you ever need someone to talk to feel free to message me. I might not have any advice but some times having that ear helps. I have been in your shoes a few times with being depressed and some times having that faceless person i can talk to without fear helps alot!

I hope you find what you need, just please dont do anything silly, to many people would miss you and who knows maybe down the road your experiences now may help someone in your shoes. The world would be down a very good person.