[FeelingHopeful]

Hey Guys had a quick question i need some help with, Is it a maniac episode when someone becomes more sex obsessed then usual? I think someone i care for may be going through this, alot of sexual pinup girls, they seem to like all the photos online, i know boys will be boys and guys like sexy girls esp naked ones lol, but it seems like a lot i dont wanna ask him for fear he will be upset with me , but i feel like it could be a maniac episode , he seems sad. Is this a bipolar hypersexuality phase. I feel like hes suffering and it breaks my heart, how do i help..

Originally Posted by FeelingHopeful

Hey Guys had a quick question i need some help with, Is it a maniac episode when someone becomes more sex obsessed then usual? I think someone i care for may be going through this, alot of sexual pinup girls, they seem to like all the photos online, i know boys will be boys and guys like sexy girls esp naked ones lol, but it seems like a lot i dont wanna ask him for fear he will be upset with me , but i feel like it could be a maniac episode , he seems sad. Is this a bipolar hypersexuality phase. I feel like hes suffering and it breaks my heart, how do i help..

IS this person bipolar?

When we try to diagnose people with little to no information, the results can be in the very least awkward and embarrassing, but can often also be very very harmful.

What struck me first is that you seem to have a serious lack of information. You are not intimately familiar with bipolar, it appears, so trying to label someone with that is not the best idea.
Even if you know for a fact they are diagnosed bipolar it doesn't necessarily mean they are manic, or even having a depressive episode in the clinical sense.

Yes, we have mood disorders but not all of the moods we experience are disordered.

Why wouldn't you talk to someone if you care about them and they seem sad? Why do you have to focus on the sex aspect at all? If someone seems sad I feel like that should be the biggest concern, not that they may or may not be looking at racy pictures online (and how is it you know that, btw?).

Sadness is a basic human emotion that we can all relate to on some level.

To respond to the question of "is this a manic episode?", I'm not sure anyone can tell you for certain. But manic episodes with accompanying hypersexuality don't involve symptoms of depression or sadness. Even mixed episodes... the negative feelings expressed are not often described as "sadness" in my experience.

And "hypersexuality" seems to have become one of those catch-all terms, now evidently meaning anything from being a bit more aroused than usual to the specific temptation for (and giving in to) infidelity to describing blatant promiscuity to staying up all night watching porn because you were bored and had nothing to do all the next day.

No. Just... No.

Please just talk to your friend.
If you care about them, ask them if they are alright- that's pretty easy to start with.

[FeelingHopeful]

Josie the girl thank you means alot to hear feedback Actually i have researched Bipolar for years but just didnt want to say too much too fast in my initial question, Ive ben part of this site for yrs so alot of people know my story with my friend, I believe he may be by certain symptons i see but have not asked him, for a few reasons, one is he told me he doesnt think he can tell anyone what is going on with him and i dont want to push him till hes ready. Im not sure if its more than depression , he says it is, but after seeing some of his actions , and just knowing him and his personality and some things i see , i went online and did research a few yrs ago. I bought tons of books and have gathered info on here and other sites , the stuff he does show bipolar symptons, so thats why i asked, Very true we cant self diagonis on here , so thats why i wanted insight from someone suffering from Bipolar if this is something common with bipolar, i know everyone is different , not all bipolar suffers experience it the same way, there are many spectrums to Bipolar, i just was wondering if you are bipolar and experience this at times , so i can understand a little better. He seems sad true and thats the major concern , he tends to go up and down , has periods hes in good moods and sociable and times he isolates, now hes isolating , He works alot too and hes very tired , said hes not sleeping much, i see this racy stuff because of the site instagram . Where you post pics and stuff. The reaso why i said sad is cause his eyes look sad to me , but maybe it is a mixed episode your referring to. Im reasearching alot on bipolar and have been but i still feel i have alot to learn so i keep reading.

I think also, though...

It's kind of important to figure out, what would be gained if you could figure out through all the research and such, that you were absolutely sure he WAS bipolar?

What would that change?
I'm not trying to be hostile in asking that. I am genuinely curious.

I almost feel that even if you knew for sure, it might almost be more difficult to approach him with your concerns.

How have you tried before?

I am not actually familiar with your situation, so I can't comment one way or the other.

I guess I'm just wondering, in the end, what all the research will do to help him. Again, that's not a hostile question, but rather... what's the end goal of that?

[LacunaCoiler]

I’m not going to get into the middle of all this and ask why you’re do all this research but I will answer your question based on MY experience and mine alone. When I’m in my manic stages I do get hypersexual and sometimes it’s worse than others and sometimes it’s manageable because it’s simply thoughts.

Since I’m in a relationship I have to find ways of dealing with this without jeopardizing my current relationship. My girlfriend with help when and where she can, I write heavily sexual stories, read heavily sexual stories, watch porn, or whatever I can do to keep faithful to my girlfriend BUT get all of this sexual urges out.

Again, this is just my experience and I do believe that the diagnosing should be done by a professional not close friends or family. If he is depressed and/or bipolar (something I can’t seem to figure out in the post itself) he should probably receive professional help for it, but he will only do it if he wants to.

[FeelingHopeful]

Josie girl its ok i know your trying to help, i dont take it personal or think your being hostile at all I appreciate this so much, dont have anyone to really talk to on this.. It wouldnt change anything as far as my friendship with him or my love for him. I will still love him always. The end goal of this is I believe he is really struggling , he always will say i wish i could tell you but cant bring myself to, i want to but cant't , maybe he thinks i will judge him , he said he has never told anyone whats going on with him, not his parents , only i know a little by the little he has told me , that its more than depression, and that he doesnt want to put me threw it or anyone, i was confused at first but am starting to understand, he told me he doesnt know if he can love cause he doesnt love himself even, he is very down on himself,. When you care about someone it doesnt change your feelings imo, theres nothing he could tell me i would not support him and try and help , just be there for him. He said he cant afford a therapist but i think hes afraid to go to find out whats going on. I know therapy can be expensive and he has to want to do it on his own but if he can go one day are there places where they do a sliding scale type of thing where insurance will cover it? Everyone else thinks hes just moody but in private because of our talks , i know its more by what he tells me, i think its hard for him cause he wants to get it out but feels he cant , which is so hard. When people tell him to get over it everyone has probs he will always look to me like help. I cant tell anyone he doesnt want me too, but its heartbreaking to see the struggle, our friends i know love him and would accept it whatever it is , but i know hes fearful of people knowing that much about him.Are you suffering , hes single, so no relationship there but what you said about your sexual urges being thoughts sounds like him. He has said that he hates having to hide a part of himself which breaks my heart, i want to help him.

[Phoenix_1]

I have a male friend that I've known for almost 4 years. When I met him I had recently separated from my abusive husband and did not want any kind of relationship. My friend says he never wants to have a relationship or get married again, so we've just been friends all this time. Yes, men and women can be friends only. We go for coffee, go grocery shopping, go to the book store, and other places like that.
He's very highly sexed and I know he has women here and in other cities that he sees for sex only. He says it's a mutual thing, no strings, and he says they seem to be all ok with it. I can't judge that because I've never met the other women. I told him from day one that I'm not ok with that and he understands perfectly. The other thing is, he has a massive porn addiction, and he's collected 100's, maybe 1000's of porn DVD's. He also knows that I'm not ok with porn, and so we just go shopping or for coffee.
He's very intelligent, well read, and has a great sense of humour. He's a lot of fun to be with, and we have a great time just talking and joking around. He travels with his job, and I only see him 2-3 times a month.
From what I've seen of him, I would say that he's not bipolar. He has been depressed lately, but he's in a very tight job market, he's 55 years old, and he's afraid that his employer will force him out before he's financially ready to retire. He also gambles. So I think that my friend may have an addiction issue and not bp or clinical depression. So porn addictions can be totally unrelated to bp or depression. At least I would say so, from how my friend appears to me.

[FeelingHopeful]

phoenix im soo sorry about your abusive husband, im glad that you are doing ok now. Me and my friend have sorta been romantic in the past , just friends now, in our thirties, but mostly i have seen the depression side of it. This is the first i have seen with the sexual stuff so much. So thats why i questioned mania, i dont think he has a porn addiction, always has had a healthy sex drive and stuff, i think that hes depressed now so thats where the sex urges come, maybe lonliness too ? I dont know how to help and i wish i could. I also think he isolates alot, when things are tough emotionally for him.

[ultramar]

Being particularly sexual at any given time could be due to innumerable things. It seems clear that he suffers from some depression, some self-esteem issues, but being very sexual doesn't mean that someone who is sometimes depressed has become hypo/manic. You've done a lot of research into this, so surely you see just how complex a disorder it is; so many things need to come together to really have any idea if bipolar is the culprit.

I personally don't think a lot of (I'm hesitant to say 'hyper') sexuality is something pathological, that needs to be treated psychiatrically. It depends, of course, in part, on to what extent it's negatively affecting his life and his relationships (from his point of view, no one else's).

If he has insurance, any insurance, he should be able to see a psychiatrist (for diagnosis and possible meds) and a therapist. If he has private insurance, with a co-pay, if he has Medicaid, likely with no co-pay. If he doesn't have insurance, he can seek out a public/community/sliding scale or free mental health clinic. I don't think you can figure this out for him, but I understand that you care about him a great deal and want to help him.

I'd encourage him to seek help. As far as diagnosis, that's a very tough one. I don't think all the research in the world is necessarily going to lead to an accurate diagnosis. It's hard enough for pdocs, and misdiagnoses abound.

Can you encourage him to seek a therapist and/or pdoc he can afford? Maybe you could do research on providers in his/your area by way of encouraging him. Though if he doesn't want to do it, it's ultimately up to him. But until he gets properly evaluated, I think any diagnosis (aside from dealing with symptoms/issues) is going to have to stay on the backburner.

[Skittles56]

Personally, when I'm manic (not hypomanic), my libido goes through the roof. However, I know of a couple of bipolar people who have never experienced it.

Like everyone has said here, anything outside of a diagnosis by a trained professional is pure speculation.

[wiretwister]

I asked my t if my sexuality came from my bipolar she said no but they fed into it. I am what I am acting how I normally would but the actions could be strengthened or prolonged by the bipolar. Long and short of it you are what you are bipolar or not.